- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Hey guys,
Got hit with a hard life experience today. Two girls filed a no contact order against me through an office on my campus. Long story short, I apparently have been seen around campus too much, having been talking to too many girls, and office that handles this had a serious talk with me today that really crushed me.
Now, the two girls I mentioned, I was shown a picture of and was given the names for and I honestly haven't seen them in a long time or really remember them. I don't even have their numbers in my phone. Both were not really all that attractive (one was a fat girl) so my assumption is that I probably warmed up on them and they weren't used to it, freaked out, and now I have this situation. This office apparently had been getting other complaints as well, saying I followed girls or waited outside of their class for them (which I don't do - so I denied this 100%). And they had me account for all the time I was on campus (which wasn't that hard - I'm on campus all day for legitimate reasons - work, classes, and working out at the gym). I also avoid being at home because my parents don't support me and always put me down negatively. Just right now my mom threatened to slap me multiple times for being "rude" constantly pushing for me to tell her why "Im so grumpy all the time" (though she doesn't understand boundaries, tells me I have no privacy, and interjects herself and her beliefs onto everything I do). (This is relevant in a bit).
The big takeaway was that they STRONGLY advised against me talking to any strangers or approaching any women I don't know through classes or something like a club on campus (because if I get one more complaint this gets escalated to the dean and I can be in trouble of breaking policy - risking expulsion or an investigation into stalking/harassment).
Now, my guess is that our campus is small (a student population of 12,000 - a majority of which are commuter students. Plus, you can walk the entire campus in about 20 minutes) and I spend the few free hours I have meeting people/girls and doing approaches. Its not uncommon that I see the same people multiple times throughout the day. According to the office, I'm building a negative reputation and it needs to stop, along with my talking to strangers.
This is the other side of the extreme in comparison to my freshmen year (2 years ago) when I didn't talk to any girls, had extreme approach anxiety, didn't know how to socialize or interact with people, didn't have friends (outside of those from high school), and had serious depression and victim-mentality.
I've overshot this correction too much - so this is my harsh wake up call to make a change.
So, from here on out, I'm not talking to girls I don't know on campus unless they talk to me first (which I know is rare but its what I have to do). I'm also going to try super hard to get into a few clubs on campus, work on getting financially independent (so I can move out and get away from my toxic family life and so I can finally invite girls back to my place - not my parents place), try to travel more (I barley do at all now) and try to change my day-game style.
So, in the future, expect to see field reports on day game from me on girls in coffee shops, bookstores (because I also want to read more), parks, the store, the mall, and any girls from the clubs I join or from any outdoor activities I am going to try to do (like getting into rock climbing or going out hiking).
Where I live, the club scene is OK, but I am also going to try to get into this. I haven't been in a club yet, so this is a whole new area for me to explore.
My point for writing this post is this: to be careful approaching girls on campus (it's addictive, makes you feel like the well-known cool guy, and there are quite a few beautiful women!) especially if you are approaching multiple women a day. Its OK on occasion (especially if your campus is much much bigger than mine where you are less likely to run into the same person twice or when it is super natural to), but be careful (and don't end up like me)! Its important to have a variety of places you practice approaching and (like has been said so many times on GC) don't make girls your main priority (but don't forget to deliberately practice getting better with them either)!
This is my harsh wake up call that I need to make a big leap and change how I am going about living my life (and meeting women). Don't get me wrong, I've met quite a few amazing girls talking to them on campus, but there are even more beautiful (and more plentiful) women that aren't on my campus.
I'm going to take this harsh call (that really crushed me this morning) and use it as a (very strong) motivator to improve myself in ways I only talked about (but never actually did).
Let me know what you guys think about this and I would like some guys to take this to heart to if they feel like college is the "best time" - theres plenty of opportunity elsewhere if you just change your perspective and expand your skill set!
Got hit with a hard life experience today. Two girls filed a no contact order against me through an office on my campus. Long story short, I apparently have been seen around campus too much, having been talking to too many girls, and office that handles this had a serious talk with me today that really crushed me.
Now, the two girls I mentioned, I was shown a picture of and was given the names for and I honestly haven't seen them in a long time or really remember them. I don't even have their numbers in my phone. Both were not really all that attractive (one was a fat girl) so my assumption is that I probably warmed up on them and they weren't used to it, freaked out, and now I have this situation. This office apparently had been getting other complaints as well, saying I followed girls or waited outside of their class for them (which I don't do - so I denied this 100%). And they had me account for all the time I was on campus (which wasn't that hard - I'm on campus all day for legitimate reasons - work, classes, and working out at the gym). I also avoid being at home because my parents don't support me and always put me down negatively. Just right now my mom threatened to slap me multiple times for being "rude" constantly pushing for me to tell her why "Im so grumpy all the time" (though she doesn't understand boundaries, tells me I have no privacy, and interjects herself and her beliefs onto everything I do). (This is relevant in a bit).
The big takeaway was that they STRONGLY advised against me talking to any strangers or approaching any women I don't know through classes or something like a club on campus (because if I get one more complaint this gets escalated to the dean and I can be in trouble of breaking policy - risking expulsion or an investigation into stalking/harassment).
Now, my guess is that our campus is small (a student population of 12,000 - a majority of which are commuter students. Plus, you can walk the entire campus in about 20 minutes) and I spend the few free hours I have meeting people/girls and doing approaches. Its not uncommon that I see the same people multiple times throughout the day. According to the office, I'm building a negative reputation and it needs to stop, along with my talking to strangers.
This is the other side of the extreme in comparison to my freshmen year (2 years ago) when I didn't talk to any girls, had extreme approach anxiety, didn't know how to socialize or interact with people, didn't have friends (outside of those from high school), and had serious depression and victim-mentality.
I've overshot this correction too much - so this is my harsh wake up call to make a change.
So, from here on out, I'm not talking to girls I don't know on campus unless they talk to me first (which I know is rare but its what I have to do). I'm also going to try super hard to get into a few clubs on campus, work on getting financially independent (so I can move out and get away from my toxic family life and so I can finally invite girls back to my place - not my parents place), try to travel more (I barley do at all now) and try to change my day-game style.
So, in the future, expect to see field reports on day game from me on girls in coffee shops, bookstores (because I also want to read more), parks, the store, the mall, and any girls from the clubs I join or from any outdoor activities I am going to try to do (like getting into rock climbing or going out hiking).
Where I live, the club scene is OK, but I am also going to try to get into this. I haven't been in a club yet, so this is a whole new area for me to explore.
My point for writing this post is this: to be careful approaching girls on campus (it's addictive, makes you feel like the well-known cool guy, and there are quite a few beautiful women!) especially if you are approaching multiple women a day. Its OK on occasion (especially if your campus is much much bigger than mine where you are less likely to run into the same person twice or when it is super natural to), but be careful (and don't end up like me)! Its important to have a variety of places you practice approaching and (like has been said so many times on GC) don't make girls your main priority (but don't forget to deliberately practice getting better with them either)!
This is my harsh wake up call that I need to make a big leap and change how I am going about living my life (and meeting women). Don't get me wrong, I've met quite a few amazing girls talking to them on campus, but there are even more beautiful (and more plentiful) women that aren't on my campus.
I'm going to take this harsh call (that really crushed me this morning) and use it as a (very strong) motivator to improve myself in ways I only talked about (but never actually did).
Let me know what you guys think about this and I would like some guys to take this to heart to if they feel like college is the "best time" - theres plenty of opportunity elsewhere if you just change your perspective and expand your skill set!
