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FR  my first ever instant date from day game.

Prehistoric

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Messages
172
During 2015 (my first year of real active gaming) 99% of my interactions with women, dates and pulls came from night game and social events. Only recently I am starting to focus my attention on day game and online game as well.

To force myself to go out and approach during the day is still very hard. For same reason my state of mind is totally different when I am out in the day compared to when I am out in the night. I know it's all in my head and I need to overcome this.

So I go out. On the first two girls I approach I use an opener that worked fairly well last time I did day game: "hey, I saw you standing here, I thought you were incredibly cute and wanted to say hi". Unlike last time though the response wasn't good.

The first one (on the street) reacts as if mine was an inappropriate invasion of personal space (why are you asking me this?, I am just waiting from my friend, I don't want to talk etc.), while the second one, whom I approach in a mall while she is checking the outside menu of a small restaurant, is a bit more receptive (she answers a couple of my questions) but very very aloof and after around 20 seconds of bored repartee made a gesture with his hand as if she wants to be left alone because she is checking the menu.

Having approached hundreds of girls during night game and learnt how to deal with rejection I didn't have any problem at all moving on.

I go outside the first mall and go walking towards another mall 10-15 minutes away. While I am walking I think a bit about what I can change in my approach. Both my approaches were very calm, pulled back, masculine and with a very sexual body language. This is the kind of approach and interactional style I am currently experimenting during night game (especially in bars), where I saw a significant improvement compared to when I was being primarily cheerful, playful, enthusiastic and friendly.

But while I am walking towards the second mall I think: maybe such James-Bond body language, while appealing during the night when girls are out to enjoy their time, might result a bit intimidating during the day: so I decide 1) to change the opening line 2) to add a bit of cheerfulness but without losing composure (I still had to come across as a man and show my intent)

I finally get to second mall. 5 minutes after walking in I spot a very hot black girl walking in my direction (for some reason hot black, south american and south-east asian girls get me horny instantly, much more than white girls).

In a much more smiley, cheerful way I walk towards her and I say

me: "hey, I just need to tell you: you have the most amazing style I have seen this day!"
her: "hahah thank you"
me "and the deepest pair of eyes ever"
she smiles
me: "do you work in fashion?"
her: "haha no I am a network engineer actually. I am here for a conference".
me: "where are you travelling from?"
her: "from Mauritius".
me: "I know it's bold, but why don't we go for a quick coffee?"
her: "mhhh actually I am looking for a jacket"
me: "then let me help you choose your jacket!"
(I didn't ask, I assumed compliance and went with her)

it's important to note that in no other circumstance except this I would ever consider going shopping around with a girl.
I know it's something that gets you automatically in the friend zone if you do it with a girl you already met before.

But in this case I thought: whatever gets me to spend time with her is good. After all I just met her and I am being pretty bold in showing my interest here, hardly a friend.

We start going around from shop to shop. As we are in the various shops I alternate

1) playful banter
2) personal questions
3) observations about the place
4) moments in which I pull back a bit and let her see the stuff

sometimes I am the one reengaging the conversation, sometimes I just wait for her in a spot (looking at stuff) to see if she comes back, in order to make her invest and to check how interested she is. She tends to come back every time.

After visiting a couple of shops, I propose going for a coffee again. She says she doesn't drink it. So I say wine. She doesn't drink alcohol. So I say tea. She deflects my question but now I know tea is fine. I persist 2-3 times. I don't see any reaction yet and we keep visiting shops.

At one point I do something risky, but necessary to check the interest after those 2-3 negative answers to my coffee proposal. When she gets into Zara, I just wait for her outside, without going in with her. I just wanna see if she invests to the point of coming back to me. Initially I thought she's gone, but then suddenly she comes back to me. We keep walking. She starts mentioning a friend who should be at the mall with her but that she lost and that she's looking for her. We keep walking.

At one point, with some persistence I finally manage to get her outside of the clothing section of the mall into the food and drinks section. I spot some tables where you can also recharge your phone (which maybe she has to) and I say: "hey, that looks perfect for a quick drink, you can even recharge your phone, come on let's sit".

Finally she agrees and I have something that can barely resemble a date. I get a coffee for me and tea for her at the bar. She waits for me 5 minutes, which I interpret as a sign of interest. I come back and I start chatting.

Now, the biggest problem with this girl is that, while friendly, positive and polite, she seems to be very reluctant to just relax in my presence. Initially she doesn't give me any eye contact at all as we talk. It was pretty weird, because while her attention was clearly on my questions, which she was answering in a very articulated manner, her eyes were going in a completely different one. We talk about the following topics:

- life in Mauritius
- if she would ever move to a european country
- what african women think of western men
- movies
- how's her social and party life in her country

in the last part of the conversation she tells a me a couple of things that make me realise the difficulties I might encounter if I decided to continue to game this girl. Some very relevant sentences were:

"I am a stay-at-home kind of person"
"I like primarily to be in my own company"
"When I am alone I mostly think"
"I think I am a very boring person"

before getting to the coffee, we had been together for around 1 hour and a half but this instant date doesn't really last long. We chat for around 15 minutes and I barely have the time of drinking my coffee and eat some cookies the girl at the coffe shop gave me for free and she wants to get up and go looking at other shops while looking for her friend (it's not really very clear what she really wants).

I do again what I was doing before. Wait outside the first shop she goes into to see if she comes back to me. She does, then she walks into the second shop at which point I have to take a decision:

Do I walk in this time and keep dragging this thing on with the hope I can finally get her outside of the mall (I had already proposed that but she had deflected all of my questions) or do I simply eject?

It was already almost 8 pm I still had to go to the gym. I decide I just don't have it in me to experiment "what would happen if I continued to game her" so I eject.

Still I go to the gym pretty satisfied considering my very small experience with day-game. Any comments and suggestions are welcome as usual!

-Prehistoric
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,982
Wonderful. It's very interesting what you said about your state and daygame vs nightgame. As primarily a daygamer I find what you found, a cheerful, friendly and playful (joking) approach works very well, whilst it risks being slotted into the friend category and it risks being labelled an entertainer, it does on the other hand somewhat defuse the fact you're breaking social rules. Having said that, I found that experimenting with posture and intense eye contact and not breaking circle, essentially being as SEXUAL as possible, really did help. I guess you should get comfortable with daygame and then add the sexuality back in gradually.

For the rest of it you were very cool and persistent and this is great. I liked what you said about wandering off a little, or not going into a shop, to make her invest and come back. It's a shame she didn't invest more into the date however. As to her avoiding eye contact and refusing to relax during the date, this is a very specific type of girl that I encounter from time to time and can identify very quickly. My theory is that this is to do with toxic shame (see "Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw). Girls who are not confident or were brought up believing they weren't good enough, tend to have negative thoughts floating just beneath their consciousness and will start feeling bad, in a non-specific way, as they relax (this is called a shame spiral). To combat this they keep their mind spinning just above idle all the time (i.e. are a prisoner of their thought stream; strongly identify with their thoughts; see Eckhart Tolle on this). They constantly have to be "doing" something, be it lighting a cigarette, walking, shopping, fidgeting, talking to a random stranger from the environment, looking at you and quickly away, etc. Shame-based people tend to be human "doings" rather than human "beings", they can't relax and just BE. Test: Look deeply into her eyes. See how she reacts. If she is calm and at peace with herself, she'll smile and prolong the moment of looking deeply into your sexy eyes. Otherwise she'll fidget.

Ray
 

Prehistoric

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Messages
172
Thanks man.

Very interesting what you said about shame-based personalities. When you are out gaming it is not uncommon to find girls who fit that kind of pattern.

Yes probably I have to get a bit more comfortable with day game to switch again the sexual component on like I am currently doing with night game.

I don't expect any big results from day game to happen soon. It feels a bit like that stage when I started to go frequently to bars and clubs 1 year ago, that stage you have to feel yourself in a new environment and play with it for some time before you can start really understanding what's going on.

Still I enjoy the learning process =)
 
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