- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
- Messages
- 364
Hi everyone,
I was not sure if this was better in the general board or the field report board, so I posted here. Please correct if better placed somewhere else.
A little background on myself:
I am a 3rd year university student and I found Girlschase about half a year or so ago. My first year in university, I lived on the campus in the dorms in a room by myself. I had missed many chances to get with girls, was socially awkward, dealing with depression, and had a victim mentality. I got hung up on girls (2 instances that year I got hung up on that "special girl", which both ended up not working out). I also struggled to find a group to call my own and to be social.
Moving to my second year, no longer in the dorms, I tried my hardest to become more social. I began making more friends and after a while, I changed my mindset, beat my depression and got rid of my victim mentality. I've also made the change to rid of masterbation/pornography completely. Then I found Girlschase and I focused hard this summer on improving my fundamentals. I got contacts, got my teeth straightened with braces, got a new hair and clothing style, worked on my posture, and began working out regularly. I also started to cold approach girls and was doing my hardest to get numbers and push myself to meet girls. However, this came with a lot of rejections or girls saying they were taken.
Fast forward to now and I can confidently approach most girls I find cute or attractive. I'll usually open with a situational opener or I will directly open them by complimenting them on their clothing or something they have on them. Girls usually warm up quickly and I go straight into deep diving (I usually approach girls on their own or in groups of 3+). I hold great eye contact throughout the conversation and have them do the talking, mostly brushing through questions they ask me about myself. I've had great conversations with girls for anywhere from 10 min - an hour and I have always gotten a legitimate number at the end. Days I push myself, I have gotten up to 5 numbers in one day.
This brings up one of my first questions:
I've had a lot of girls with boyfriends (or even married) give me their number and either not tell me about their bf/husband or tell me as they put their number in my phone. I have made it a habit to text girls a couple hours later "Hey [name], its NewBeeWinner - nice meeting you today
". Then the girls either respond that they enjoyed meeting me too or I don't get a response. What do you guys do with numbers of girls who are taken? Do you just not text them or do you still try to meet and make plans with them? For myself, I usually don't continue contact with them past the initial text as they are taken - I find a new girl to talk to. In other situations, I follow up a day or two later to make plans to meet. I've gotten a few dates from this.
Another new wall I have run across recently is that I have had girls who show they are really interested in me during our conversation later go cold on me when I text them. I've learned this is because I failed to bed them quickly or to quickly escalate. For example:
I opened this girl outside one of my classes and moved her to a place we could sit down and talk a bit (to which she gladly agreed). I deep dived, following my above process. She was really into the conversation and showed signs of interest. At the end of an hour or so long conversation (I had to go to work right after), I asked if I could kiss her to which she laughed and said she was happy I asked, but no because she had just met me. I teased her saying she was playing hard to get, but then grabbed her number and got her schedule. She was busy over the weekend/Monday on a backpacking trip, but was free the following week and wanted to meet me after work. I agreed and told her I would text her after she got back back from her trip. I texted her the next morning (I was busy the rest of the night) my normal nice to meet you text and didn't get a text back. That Tuesday (when she was supposed to get back) I texted her to make plans, but didn't get a text back. I then text her two days later and got "Sorry, but I'm not interested" as my response. She is single and was interested, but went cold.
Looking back, I should've escalated much quicker - I waited too long. However, I also feel the logistics weren't in my favor (I had work right after talking with her and she was busy that weekend/Monday, leaving a large time gap). Any tips for shorting the time I need before escalating with her (so I don't spend too much time deep diving)? Also, how can I best handle a situation with difficult logistics like the above situation? As women act on their emotions, could I re-warm her up to me? As of now, I'll just meet more women, but it is frustrating to have one so interested initially go cold.
Finally, I have a girl I have been on two (maybe three) dates with who I failed to close with on the first date. We had gone on the first date and I took her back to her dorm. She had stated her roommate wanted to meet me, so I followed her up to her room, but her roommate was no where to be seen. I had already kissed her a few times and had brought a condom just in case, but forgot it in my car. I failed to escalate physically and we had ended the night. The second date around, I couldn't isolate her as her roommate had people over to her dorm. This girl is also not openly sexual, having been very inexperienced. She hasn't dated in a long time and I'm the first guy shes kissed in a while. We recently went swimming together (she's a swimmer), but I found that left us both tired and in a bad situation for anything after swimming (that was the "third" date). I feel if I don't close soon, I'll have missed a great opportunity. As she is inexperienced and I'm a virgin (as a result of my younger self not being up to par), I find this hurdle hard to overcome. Is it best that I wait it out (we meet about 1-2 times a week) and do another attempt? I know I need to take more lead in getting her used to being more sexual with me. She is fine with my touch, which is good.
So, my main question is how do I smoothly transition and push myself to go from deep diving or talking with a girl to being sexual and arousing her? With an inexperienced girl who is not openly sexual, how can I crack her shell? I feel shes slowly been losing interest and I feel that may be because I've failed to shag her yet.
I'm thinking my best bet may be to wait it out a bit, go on a date with her, end up in her dorm (I live with my parents, making it difficult to take her home) and then slowly escalate from kissing to taking the lead and putting her hand where I want it. I am very inexperienced with physically escalating all the way to sex, especially after having known a girl for such a short time. Any tips to make it an easier first experience (for us both)?
In summary, I feel my biggest sticking points at the moment are figuring out how to deal with girls with boyfriends (screening them out), escalating quickly (transitioning smoothly from deep diving to sex talk and arousal, especially with sexually inexperienced girls), and escalating physically all the way to sex, especially not being experienced doing this. Any advice/tips are greatly appreciated! Maybe someone else can see the chinks in my game I can't. GC has definitely changed my life in more ways than one!
I was not sure if this was better in the general board or the field report board, so I posted here. Please correct if better placed somewhere else.
A little background on myself:
I am a 3rd year university student and I found Girlschase about half a year or so ago. My first year in university, I lived on the campus in the dorms in a room by myself. I had missed many chances to get with girls, was socially awkward, dealing with depression, and had a victim mentality. I got hung up on girls (2 instances that year I got hung up on that "special girl", which both ended up not working out). I also struggled to find a group to call my own and to be social.
Moving to my second year, no longer in the dorms, I tried my hardest to become more social. I began making more friends and after a while, I changed my mindset, beat my depression and got rid of my victim mentality. I've also made the change to rid of masterbation/pornography completely. Then I found Girlschase and I focused hard this summer on improving my fundamentals. I got contacts, got my teeth straightened with braces, got a new hair and clothing style, worked on my posture, and began working out regularly. I also started to cold approach girls and was doing my hardest to get numbers and push myself to meet girls. However, this came with a lot of rejections or girls saying they were taken.
Fast forward to now and I can confidently approach most girls I find cute or attractive. I'll usually open with a situational opener or I will directly open them by complimenting them on their clothing or something they have on them. Girls usually warm up quickly and I go straight into deep diving (I usually approach girls on their own or in groups of 3+). I hold great eye contact throughout the conversation and have them do the talking, mostly brushing through questions they ask me about myself. I've had great conversations with girls for anywhere from 10 min - an hour and I have always gotten a legitimate number at the end. Days I push myself, I have gotten up to 5 numbers in one day.
This brings up one of my first questions:
I've had a lot of girls with boyfriends (or even married) give me their number and either not tell me about their bf/husband or tell me as they put their number in my phone. I have made it a habit to text girls a couple hours later "Hey [name], its NewBeeWinner - nice meeting you today
". Then the girls either respond that they enjoyed meeting me too or I don't get a response. What do you guys do with numbers of girls who are taken? Do you just not text them or do you still try to meet and make plans with them? For myself, I usually don't continue contact with them past the initial text as they are taken - I find a new girl to talk to. In other situations, I follow up a day or two later to make plans to meet. I've gotten a few dates from this. Another new wall I have run across recently is that I have had girls who show they are really interested in me during our conversation later go cold on me when I text them. I've learned this is because I failed to bed them quickly or to quickly escalate. For example:
I opened this girl outside one of my classes and moved her to a place we could sit down and talk a bit (to which she gladly agreed). I deep dived, following my above process. She was really into the conversation and showed signs of interest. At the end of an hour or so long conversation (I had to go to work right after), I asked if I could kiss her to which she laughed and said she was happy I asked, but no because she had just met me. I teased her saying she was playing hard to get, but then grabbed her number and got her schedule. She was busy over the weekend/Monday on a backpacking trip, but was free the following week and wanted to meet me after work. I agreed and told her I would text her after she got back back from her trip. I texted her the next morning (I was busy the rest of the night) my normal nice to meet you text and didn't get a text back. That Tuesday (when she was supposed to get back) I texted her to make plans, but didn't get a text back. I then text her two days later and got "Sorry, but I'm not interested" as my response. She is single and was interested, but went cold.
Looking back, I should've escalated much quicker - I waited too long. However, I also feel the logistics weren't in my favor (I had work right after talking with her and she was busy that weekend/Monday, leaving a large time gap). Any tips for shorting the time I need before escalating with her (so I don't spend too much time deep diving)? Also, how can I best handle a situation with difficult logistics like the above situation? As women act on their emotions, could I re-warm her up to me? As of now, I'll just meet more women, but it is frustrating to have one so interested initially go cold.
Finally, I have a girl I have been on two (maybe three) dates with who I failed to close with on the first date. We had gone on the first date and I took her back to her dorm. She had stated her roommate wanted to meet me, so I followed her up to her room, but her roommate was no where to be seen. I had already kissed her a few times and had brought a condom just in case, but forgot it in my car. I failed to escalate physically and we had ended the night. The second date around, I couldn't isolate her as her roommate had people over to her dorm. This girl is also not openly sexual, having been very inexperienced. She hasn't dated in a long time and I'm the first guy shes kissed in a while. We recently went swimming together (she's a swimmer), but I found that left us both tired and in a bad situation for anything after swimming (that was the "third" date). I feel if I don't close soon, I'll have missed a great opportunity. As she is inexperienced and I'm a virgin (as a result of my younger self not being up to par), I find this hurdle hard to overcome. Is it best that I wait it out (we meet about 1-2 times a week) and do another attempt? I know I need to take more lead in getting her used to being more sexual with me. She is fine with my touch, which is good.
So, my main question is how do I smoothly transition and push myself to go from deep diving or talking with a girl to being sexual and arousing her? With an inexperienced girl who is not openly sexual, how can I crack her shell? I feel shes slowly been losing interest and I feel that may be because I've failed to shag her yet.
I'm thinking my best bet may be to wait it out a bit, go on a date with her, end up in her dorm (I live with my parents, making it difficult to take her home) and then slowly escalate from kissing to taking the lead and putting her hand where I want it. I am very inexperienced with physically escalating all the way to sex, especially after having known a girl for such a short time. Any tips to make it an easier first experience (for us both)?
In summary, I feel my biggest sticking points at the moment are figuring out how to deal with girls with boyfriends (screening them out), escalating quickly (transitioning smoothly from deep diving to sex talk and arousal, especially with sexually inexperienced girls), and escalating physically all the way to sex, especially not being experienced doing this. Any advice/tips are greatly appreciated! Maybe someone else can see the chinks in my game I can't. GC has definitely changed my life in more ways than one!
