- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 19
Hey Gents,
I'm pretty new to GC (started applying this material in November 2014), and I've been working on my fundamentals and seduction for about 2 years now since my ex wife moved out and I got divorced (luckily, it never got ugly, and we are very cooperative in raising our young child. I'm convinced my working on leadership and social skills really helped in getting the divorce settled quickly with minimal drama). I've gotten some good advice and material from various more internal-game oriented sources, but as I began reading Chase's articles I became convinced he is a genius in social dynamics as it relates to mating. The roles for men in women's lives, and shooting for the lover role, in particular, suddenly make perfect sense to me. Women attract men first through looks, then with charismatic femininity. For men this is inverted, with charismatic masculinity first, and looks second or even further off. I've always been blessed with decent looks (I'm 6' 2", white, and told I look like Roger Federer) and a brain (PhD in hard science), and thus -- like many nice guy / AFC types -- shocked at how inconsistent / poor my results were with women despite having looks, intelligence, and eventually even money. I used to have this voice in my head that would piss and moan asking "wtf, why is SHE going home with /dating / seeing HIM?!". Now at least after all this work I have an answer for that voice that shuts it up: "It's because of the way he makes her FEEL IN THE MOMENT. Full stop."
My progress so far in fundamentals:
Physically, I've lost about 25-30 pounds so my BMI is now healthy (I dance salsa a lot and do yoga or wii fit at home).
I used to wear glasses, and had a very successful Lasik procedure done so I don't need them anymore.
For facial hair I'm sporting long sideburns even with my haircut (short) and always like to keep my 5'oclock shadow when I go out.
I've experimented with necklaces, but don't always wear them.
I wear clothes that fit me now (usually an American large shirt and 34x34 or 33x34 jeans), though I'll admit I'm tentative to wear the size medium shirts that Chase suggests (I may experiment, but not really worried about looks). I usually wear a large or medium tall which fits me well in the shoulder.
I like to wear compression T-shirts under a nice button down or western snap shirt (I go for the cowboy-rocker look), and I'll often play with colors (my Jeans are all brown or black, not blue, and I have some white dancing shoes that I'll match with a white T under my button-down).
I've gotten the sexy, dominant walk, body language and eye contact down pretty well. People move out of my way or apologize to me now as I'm walking through a crowded space.
I've also noticed that women will occasionally moan or make a similar primal sounding noise when I walk by them, and their general initial reactions to me are good (I get some flirty eyes and smiles now, along with them looking down. Anyone else notice women making a noise as you walk by with good fundamentals? Its kind of like what I used to do when I'd see a hot girl go by and didn't know any better.)
I've also really worked on looking relaxed and confident when standing or sitting, and it definitely makes me feel more comfortable and confident doing this.
Touch is also an area where I've improved quite a bit, as I never used to touch people at all. Now I do it casually in conversations all the time, and I've had some occasional success with kino and escalation.
Approach and conversation body language is another area I feel pretty comfortable with. I'm always doing my best to avoid squaring off to girls and showing them to much positive body language.
I have a passion for music and live performances, so the hobbies I've taken up (dancing, singing, comedy, appreciating live music) relate to this. I love partner dancing (and the kind of women who are drawn to it), so I've become a fixture in the Salsa community in my city. Salsa has also become my default physical and social gym (good cardio, plus social opportunities). I've spent the last year going out and at least dancing or taking lessons at every available opportunity. Many of the women in Salsa are very attractive, so its been a wonderful scene for just getting comfortable with approaching attractive women (asking them to dance), touching them (dancing requires this), and generally being social and shedding bitterness. Contrary to how I used to feel, I'm noticing hot/attractive women are not "unicorns with breasts", they are just women.
My process so far:
I have my child 3 days a week, so meeting people and socializing is somewhat rare when I am with her. I'll occasionally take her to an indoor playground type place where the kids can play and the adults can socialize, and I've made a small number of approaches this way that haven't gone very far (a few Facebook friends.)
The other 4 nights a week, my night is generally structured around dancing unless I have a date. I'm involved with quite a few meetup groups for singles and new people coming into my town, so I'll usually attend or host one of these events (happy hour, dancing event or other mingle party), a happy hour with coworkers, or a salsa class to get the social momentum going. Salsa social dancing often starts late (11pm-ish), so I'll often find myself flying solo in a bar, lounge, or a night club beforehand to look for good approaches. I've gotten lots (about 30 or so) of phone numbers over the last year (I've abandoned asking local girls I want to get with for their Facebook as this seems to beggy / weak and I've lost quite few this way), and about and equal number of flakes ranging from no response (a few bad numbers and one girl blocked my number) to ljbf and I have a boyfriend. I had one girl who friend zoned me (kept texting me out of the blue for months) and seemed to be using me for access to hook up with other salsa leads, so I called her out on it by straight up asking her out 1:1 outside of salsa and she disappeared (ha!). The exceptions to the flakes (1 LR (same night!), 3 FR+, a couple near-pulls) are under the field reports thread on this board. Early on, I had a personal card I used to hand out and it was a total disaster (to me, nothing screams un-masculine friend and/or try-hard like me asking a girl out with my personal card rather than getting her number). My last 3 FR+ results were in the last month or so after applying GC material. I've gotten so sick of flakes that I plan to use Chase's method of asking a girl out on the spot and getting her to give some days in her coming week's schedule when she could do it. If she gives flaky responses here I'm not bothering with the number (I'll look to pull her if I see her out again or nothing).
I have yet to add day game to this and I know its needed. I'm sure its just a matter of comfort in overcoming my AA. I also know I need to move girls a lot more (particularly in salsa, compliance is really important to getting a stable conversation going or she will just go off with the next guy who asks her to dance). Flirting, humor and adding sex to the convo are also sticking points to me, as I seem to be decent at deep diving but often lose them with too much intensity. Too much pulling with little in the way of push is also something I'm working on, as I get the feeling I'm losing a lot of girls due to not being challenging enough (showing a bunch of interest without any chase framing, etc.)
Its good to share here and any / all feedback is welcome.
Happy new year!
SalsaChops
I'm pretty new to GC (started applying this material in November 2014), and I've been working on my fundamentals and seduction for about 2 years now since my ex wife moved out and I got divorced (luckily, it never got ugly, and we are very cooperative in raising our young child. I'm convinced my working on leadership and social skills really helped in getting the divorce settled quickly with minimal drama). I've gotten some good advice and material from various more internal-game oriented sources, but as I began reading Chase's articles I became convinced he is a genius in social dynamics as it relates to mating. The roles for men in women's lives, and shooting for the lover role, in particular, suddenly make perfect sense to me. Women attract men first through looks, then with charismatic femininity. For men this is inverted, with charismatic masculinity first, and looks second or even further off. I've always been blessed with decent looks (I'm 6' 2", white, and told I look like Roger Federer) and a brain (PhD in hard science), and thus -- like many nice guy / AFC types -- shocked at how inconsistent / poor my results were with women despite having looks, intelligence, and eventually even money. I used to have this voice in my head that would piss and moan asking "wtf, why is SHE going home with /dating / seeing HIM?!". Now at least after all this work I have an answer for that voice that shuts it up: "It's because of the way he makes her FEEL IN THE MOMENT. Full stop."
My progress so far in fundamentals:
Physically, I've lost about 25-30 pounds so my BMI is now healthy (I dance salsa a lot and do yoga or wii fit at home).
I used to wear glasses, and had a very successful Lasik procedure done so I don't need them anymore.
For facial hair I'm sporting long sideburns even with my haircut (short) and always like to keep my 5'oclock shadow when I go out.
I've experimented with necklaces, but don't always wear them.
I wear clothes that fit me now (usually an American large shirt and 34x34 or 33x34 jeans), though I'll admit I'm tentative to wear the size medium shirts that Chase suggests (I may experiment, but not really worried about looks). I usually wear a large or medium tall which fits me well in the shoulder.
I like to wear compression T-shirts under a nice button down or western snap shirt (I go for the cowboy-rocker look), and I'll often play with colors (my Jeans are all brown or black, not blue, and I have some white dancing shoes that I'll match with a white T under my button-down).
I've gotten the sexy, dominant walk, body language and eye contact down pretty well. People move out of my way or apologize to me now as I'm walking through a crowded space.
I've also noticed that women will occasionally moan or make a similar primal sounding noise when I walk by them, and their general initial reactions to me are good (I get some flirty eyes and smiles now, along with them looking down. Anyone else notice women making a noise as you walk by with good fundamentals? Its kind of like what I used to do when I'd see a hot girl go by and didn't know any better.)
I've also really worked on looking relaxed and confident when standing or sitting, and it definitely makes me feel more comfortable and confident doing this.
Touch is also an area where I've improved quite a bit, as I never used to touch people at all. Now I do it casually in conversations all the time, and I've had some occasional success with kino and escalation.
Approach and conversation body language is another area I feel pretty comfortable with. I'm always doing my best to avoid squaring off to girls and showing them to much positive body language.
I have a passion for music and live performances, so the hobbies I've taken up (dancing, singing, comedy, appreciating live music) relate to this. I love partner dancing (and the kind of women who are drawn to it), so I've become a fixture in the Salsa community in my city. Salsa has also become my default physical and social gym (good cardio, plus social opportunities). I've spent the last year going out and at least dancing or taking lessons at every available opportunity. Many of the women in Salsa are very attractive, so its been a wonderful scene for just getting comfortable with approaching attractive women (asking them to dance), touching them (dancing requires this), and generally being social and shedding bitterness. Contrary to how I used to feel, I'm noticing hot/attractive women are not "unicorns with breasts", they are just women.
My process so far:
I have my child 3 days a week, so meeting people and socializing is somewhat rare when I am with her. I'll occasionally take her to an indoor playground type place where the kids can play and the adults can socialize, and I've made a small number of approaches this way that haven't gone very far (a few Facebook friends.)
The other 4 nights a week, my night is generally structured around dancing unless I have a date. I'm involved with quite a few meetup groups for singles and new people coming into my town, so I'll usually attend or host one of these events (happy hour, dancing event or other mingle party), a happy hour with coworkers, or a salsa class to get the social momentum going. Salsa social dancing often starts late (11pm-ish), so I'll often find myself flying solo in a bar, lounge, or a night club beforehand to look for good approaches. I've gotten lots (about 30 or so) of phone numbers over the last year (I've abandoned asking local girls I want to get with for their Facebook as this seems to beggy / weak and I've lost quite few this way), and about and equal number of flakes ranging from no response (a few bad numbers and one girl blocked my number) to ljbf and I have a boyfriend. I had one girl who friend zoned me (kept texting me out of the blue for months) and seemed to be using me for access to hook up with other salsa leads, so I called her out on it by straight up asking her out 1:1 outside of salsa and she disappeared (ha!). The exceptions to the flakes (1 LR (same night!), 3 FR+, a couple near-pulls) are under the field reports thread on this board. Early on, I had a personal card I used to hand out and it was a total disaster (to me, nothing screams un-masculine friend and/or try-hard like me asking a girl out with my personal card rather than getting her number). My last 3 FR+ results were in the last month or so after applying GC material. I've gotten so sick of flakes that I plan to use Chase's method of asking a girl out on the spot and getting her to give some days in her coming week's schedule when she could do it. If she gives flaky responses here I'm not bothering with the number (I'll look to pull her if I see her out again or nothing).
I have yet to add day game to this and I know its needed. I'm sure its just a matter of comfort in overcoming my AA. I also know I need to move girls a lot more (particularly in salsa, compliance is really important to getting a stable conversation going or she will just go off with the next guy who asks her to dance). Flirting, humor and adding sex to the convo are also sticking points to me, as I seem to be decent at deep diving but often lose them with too much intensity. Too much pulling with little in the way of push is also something I'm working on, as I get the feeling I'm losing a lot of girls due to not being challenging enough (showing a bunch of interest without any chase framing, etc.)
Its good to share here and any / all feedback is welcome.
Happy new year!
SalsaChops
