- Joined
- Dec 25, 2012
- Messages
- 1,124
*edit - Game as defined in this article is, how a man approaches all things in life. I uphold the distinction that this site is more about that than solely about dating high quality women.*
I have been struggling with a few things. Here's to having a place where I can discuss how to deal with them!
I'm doing this to flesh out my thoughts and clearly assess them as well as hear your thoughts on them. I thought about doing this in my journal, but I think adding your own top 5 game killers can help you out as well.
So, lets get right to it. In order of severity. I have a knack for looking at the bright side of things, so I will also list how these things have also strengthened or helped me.
5. Logistics
Right now I live in the suburbs. My school is in the city. The health supermarket I like, that also attracts cute like-minded girls, is in the city. The concerts and clubs, that I like to go to, are in the city. Better bar tending jobs are in the city. I'm sure you catch my drift.
Flipside -
This is least severe on the list because I actually am a bit excited to grow, being forced to deal with shitty logistics. For instance, the other day, I was in the city alone in a kitchen with a girl who was interested in me. I didn't think of it at the time but hooking up on the kitchen floor would have been cool.
I also live at home right now and don't have to pay bills and I can invite girls here. This is starting to seem like a good thing!
4. A Lack of Boldness
I, for most of my life, have been a pretty passive person. I actually make it work very well. As a man however, there must be balance. Action must be taken, especially with women. It feels much more natural to be that way. I can tell by the smiles and giggly laughter that the girls like it too. At times I still find myself weary and anxious as a passive person does, in times that requires bold or at least more confident presence. This is tied up with the next 3 remaining listees and resolving those together will likely be key.
Flipside -
I'm big on chinese philosophy and balance is something integral to all things according to it. Yin Yang. I have the passive side down already. Yippie! Okay maybe thats thinking way too black and white, in addition to being foolish thinking I have mastered something so ambiguous. Regardless I have experience with it which counts for enough to tip the scales in need of some weight on the other side. Also more good news is I understand its twisted up with other issues and thus gives me more motivation to fix those as well!
3. Beating Up Myself / Fear / Handling Failure Poorly
Like I mentioned I have a history of getting things done in a passive way. So when I attempt to get things done with action and then stumble while most people I see are doing the same thing comparatively effortlessly, I tend to unwittingly be too hard on myself. I also have some bad habits that are #1 on this list. Abstaining from them has been proving difficult and when I have a bad day regarding them, I add salt to the wound by beating myself up about it.
Flipside -
I am human. The fact is we are imperfect beings and that is perfectly okay. We grow, by failing, understanding why we did, and getting back up to have at it from another angle. This realization is huge and liberating. When I fail it should be more like, "okay good try, lets dust ourselves off and try again," all with a smile on zee face.
2.Disorganization / Falling Behind With Errands & School
I make an effort to keep my work and living spaces clean and neat. This is great for clear thinking, facilitating good mood, and having an inviting place others can enjoy. While I have made strides in this, there are still places that I leave cluttered and messy. My school work area and my car ...And maybe the kitchen too. The kitchen gets cleaned regularly though, so its more of the other two places. Is it a coincidence, I'm having trouble keeping up this semester? Perhaps, and I also think #1 on this list has a big impact on my school work.
Flipside -
Balance... Honestly if I was a total neat freak I think it would make life a little less interesting, though I plan on straightening things up a bit. Also learning how to deal with this clutter in a healthy way is a valuable lesson. This presents a great opportunity to grow.
1.Over Using Computer / Wanking to Porn / Dating Sites
So suburban living in the winter is a lot like being cooped up in a couple rooms for some months.
And then theres the computer... With access to vicarious living of virtually limitless possibilities. Boobies, Bermuda, and Fire Emblem at my finger tips. My eyes have been red and strained. Something I find unacceptable. Especially because I, ironically, embrace the idea that life might be better with a lot less computer usage. Surfing the web for interesting articles and playing video games is the worst of the culprit. When I must do work for school on the computer (and my classes require the usage of computer) it has proven difficult to stay focused with Boobies, Bermuda, and Fire Emblem literally a few clicks away. An act made so simple that it can go unnoticed for 30 mins at time that I am no longer working on homework but indulging in too much Boobies, Bermuda, and Fire Emblem.
Porn can drain the sexual energy that is so motivating and useful to getting out of the house, talking to that cute girl and asking her out. Like I said the boldness thing is affected by this. When I go awhile without it, I see results and a dramatic change.
I add dating websites because like porn they drain some motivation out of me. It's easier to send 20 girls a message than to approach one, but much less rewarding.
Flipside -
A lot of the things I surf on the internet can be seen as somewhat productive. I pretty research/study a big bulk of the time. I study languages, design and environmental engineering as well as some other topics. So if I can cut out most of it and occasionally use the computer for this sort of thing, I think that might be fine and dandy.
I think I can thank porn for my ability to last as long as I want in bed
Also, sometimes dating apps are rewarding...
-J Wick
I have been struggling with a few things. Here's to having a place where I can discuss how to deal with them!
I'm doing this to flesh out my thoughts and clearly assess them as well as hear your thoughts on them. I thought about doing this in my journal, but I think adding your own top 5 game killers can help you out as well.
So, lets get right to it. In order of severity. I have a knack for looking at the bright side of things, so I will also list how these things have also strengthened or helped me.
5. Logistics
Right now I live in the suburbs. My school is in the city. The health supermarket I like, that also attracts cute like-minded girls, is in the city. The concerts and clubs, that I like to go to, are in the city. Better bar tending jobs are in the city. I'm sure you catch my drift.
Flipside -
This is least severe on the list because I actually am a bit excited to grow, being forced to deal with shitty logistics. For instance, the other day, I was in the city alone in a kitchen with a girl who was interested in me. I didn't think of it at the time but hooking up on the kitchen floor would have been cool.
I also live at home right now and don't have to pay bills and I can invite girls here. This is starting to seem like a good thing!
4. A Lack of Boldness
I, for most of my life, have been a pretty passive person. I actually make it work very well. As a man however, there must be balance. Action must be taken, especially with women. It feels much more natural to be that way. I can tell by the smiles and giggly laughter that the girls like it too. At times I still find myself weary and anxious as a passive person does, in times that requires bold or at least more confident presence. This is tied up with the next 3 remaining listees and resolving those together will likely be key.
Flipside -
I'm big on chinese philosophy and balance is something integral to all things according to it. Yin Yang. I have the passive side down already. Yippie! Okay maybe thats thinking way too black and white, in addition to being foolish thinking I have mastered something so ambiguous. Regardless I have experience with it which counts for enough to tip the scales in need of some weight on the other side. Also more good news is I understand its twisted up with other issues and thus gives me more motivation to fix those as well!
3. Beating Up Myself / Fear / Handling Failure Poorly
Like I mentioned I have a history of getting things done in a passive way. So when I attempt to get things done with action and then stumble while most people I see are doing the same thing comparatively effortlessly, I tend to unwittingly be too hard on myself. I also have some bad habits that are #1 on this list. Abstaining from them has been proving difficult and when I have a bad day regarding them, I add salt to the wound by beating myself up about it.
Flipside -
I am human. The fact is we are imperfect beings and that is perfectly okay. We grow, by failing, understanding why we did, and getting back up to have at it from another angle. This realization is huge and liberating. When I fail it should be more like, "okay good try, lets dust ourselves off and try again," all with a smile on zee face.
2.Disorganization / Falling Behind With Errands & School
I make an effort to keep my work and living spaces clean and neat. This is great for clear thinking, facilitating good mood, and having an inviting place others can enjoy. While I have made strides in this, there are still places that I leave cluttered and messy. My school work area and my car ...And maybe the kitchen too. The kitchen gets cleaned regularly though, so its more of the other two places. Is it a coincidence, I'm having trouble keeping up this semester? Perhaps, and I also think #1 on this list has a big impact on my school work.
Flipside -
Balance... Honestly if I was a total neat freak I think it would make life a little less interesting, though I plan on straightening things up a bit. Also learning how to deal with this clutter in a healthy way is a valuable lesson. This presents a great opportunity to grow.
1.Over Using Computer / Wanking to Porn / Dating Sites
So suburban living in the winter is a lot like being cooped up in a couple rooms for some months.
And then theres the computer... With access to vicarious living of virtually limitless possibilities. Boobies, Bermuda, and Fire Emblem at my finger tips. My eyes have been red and strained. Something I find unacceptable. Especially because I, ironically, embrace the idea that life might be better with a lot less computer usage. Surfing the web for interesting articles and playing video games is the worst of the culprit. When I must do work for school on the computer (and my classes require the usage of computer) it has proven difficult to stay focused with Boobies, Bermuda, and Fire Emblem literally a few clicks away. An act made so simple that it can go unnoticed for 30 mins at time that I am no longer working on homework but indulging in too much Boobies, Bermuda, and Fire Emblem.
Porn can drain the sexual energy that is so motivating and useful to getting out of the house, talking to that cute girl and asking her out. Like I said the boldness thing is affected by this. When I go awhile without it, I see results and a dramatic change.
I add dating websites because like porn they drain some motivation out of me. It's easier to send 20 girls a message than to approach one, but much less rewarding.
Flipside -
A lot of the things I surf on the internet can be seen as somewhat productive. I pretty research/study a big bulk of the time. I study languages, design and environmental engineering as well as some other topics. So if I can cut out most of it and occasionally use the computer for this sort of thing, I think that might be fine and dandy.
I think I can thank porn for my ability to last as long as I want in bed
Also, sometimes dating apps are rewarding...
-J Wick
