- Joined
- Feb 2, 2019
- Messages
- 115
I've spent most of my adult life (25m) in a couple LTR's, and have probably done only ~40 cold approaches in my life. I've casually read articles on dating/pickup over the last six years, and it has given me a couple fulfilling LTR's and a few friends with benefits/flings met through social circle/life circumstances. It's taken me from someone with very few friends to being confident, cool, social, and liked by others. However, I really want to get this part of my life handled and develop abundance and the tools to get the relationships/experiences that I want. I found girlschase five or so years ago, and the content on here made more sense to me, and seemed more congruent to my experiences than any other resources.
I recently made a friend in my city that does game, which has really motivated me to start taking consistent action in improving this part of my life. We have winged each other at bars a few nights, and he's been giving me pickup and seduction advice. He's a super chill and generous guy, and has quite a bit of experience/success with online game, texting, and dates. We are both pretty new to cold approach and night game.
He has introduced me to some new seduction resources recently that he believes are the best out there: Ultimate Man Project, Playing with Fire, and Surgical Pickup. It looks like mentioning other companies isn't prohibited by the rules, but let me know if I should remove these names. The first two seem to have lots of valuable information. The last one does as well, but also recommends techniques like opinion openers and negs that feel very gimmicky to me. I don't feel comfortable/congruent using these techniques (and girls can tell).
Is there any value in using techniques like these? I don't want to make excuses that keep me from improving. They seem weird to me, but I have very little experience with night game cold approach (I don't even go to bars/clubs in general very often), so I don't really know if I'm in a place to judge. I don't ever see other people starting conversations with strangers by asking for a group opinion, and the negs he uses aren't super weird like the mystery method ones, but stuff like "You such a killer sense of style, too bad you're so innocent" still sounds forced to me a lot of the time. The guy also advocates cold reads that come from nowhere when you don't know what to say early on in an interaction. Such as saying "you look like a schoolteacher" as a canned line to make conversation without any justification behind it (I like cold reads in general though). Opening entire large groups also feels weird to me as well (as opposed talking to just one girl). But maybe I'm overthinking this, and these can be valuable tools make my interactions more unique.
1. So are these techniques outdated gimmicky relics from the past? Or are they just another style and worthy to learn?
2. How do you navigate pickup/dating advice resources? Looking for advice other than "just ignore everything except for GC." I love GC, but want to be able to integrate advice from other styles/sources as well, rather than dogmatically adhering to one. Although, even GC writers have differing opinions on some things.
3. Are there any other prevalent techniques/advice that I should avoid?
4. If these sorts of techniques are good, how can I be more comfortable/congruent using them? I mean, it takes balls to direct approach, and be sexually direct, but it at least feels honest to me. Manufactured opinion openers, negs, and baseless cold reads feel forced and unnatural to me.
I recently made a friend in my city that does game, which has really motivated me to start taking consistent action in improving this part of my life. We have winged each other at bars a few nights, and he's been giving me pickup and seduction advice. He's a super chill and generous guy, and has quite a bit of experience/success with online game, texting, and dates. We are both pretty new to cold approach and night game.
He has introduced me to some new seduction resources recently that he believes are the best out there: Ultimate Man Project, Playing with Fire, and Surgical Pickup. It looks like mentioning other companies isn't prohibited by the rules, but let me know if I should remove these names. The first two seem to have lots of valuable information. The last one does as well, but also recommends techniques like opinion openers and negs that feel very gimmicky to me. I don't feel comfortable/congruent using these techniques (and girls can tell).
Is there any value in using techniques like these? I don't want to make excuses that keep me from improving. They seem weird to me, but I have very little experience with night game cold approach (I don't even go to bars/clubs in general very often), so I don't really know if I'm in a place to judge. I don't ever see other people starting conversations with strangers by asking for a group opinion, and the negs he uses aren't super weird like the mystery method ones, but stuff like "You such a killer sense of style, too bad you're so innocent" still sounds forced to me a lot of the time. The guy also advocates cold reads that come from nowhere when you don't know what to say early on in an interaction. Such as saying "you look like a schoolteacher" as a canned line to make conversation without any justification behind it (I like cold reads in general though). Opening entire large groups also feels weird to me as well (as opposed talking to just one girl). But maybe I'm overthinking this, and these can be valuable tools make my interactions more unique.
1. So are these techniques outdated gimmicky relics from the past? Or are they just another style and worthy to learn?
2. How do you navigate pickup/dating advice resources? Looking for advice other than "just ignore everything except for GC." I love GC, but want to be able to integrate advice from other styles/sources as well, rather than dogmatically adhering to one. Although, even GC writers have differing opinions on some things.
3. Are there any other prevalent techniques/advice that I should avoid?
4. If these sorts of techniques are good, how can I be more comfortable/congruent using them? I mean, it takes balls to direct approach, and be sexually direct, but it at least feels honest to me. Manufactured opinion openers, negs, and baseless cold reads feel forced and unnatural to me.
