What's new

Need advice.. New relationship speed bump

Ktowndub

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 10, 2014
Messages
28
I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks and we have really clicked. I've expressed to her that we are seeing way too much of each other, so much that it's unhealthy, but we have a real good time. She has expressed to me that her infatuation with me was very strong. Then, we spent 3 nights in a row together, the last of which we had an instance where I felt everything change. She had plans for a date with another guy, and I told her that I'm cool with it but asked her to just be mindful of what we were doing, since we seemed to be really hitting it off. Then we had sex like it was gonna be the last time ever having sex and the next day i just felt it was done. I let her sleep in while I went to work and I never contacted her throughout the day. I came home to a note from her saying, we need to spend time apart,, too much too fast, text me if u want... I had already told her multiple times, including the day before, that we were spending way too much time together, now she flipped it on me.. I haven't reached out to her, nor will I... What's going on with this? Any advice?
 

Thedoctor

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jun 13, 2013
Messages
512
Ktown,

It seems like you did not correctly set precedent at the very beginning. Typically, you cannot move the interaction backward. Spending less time together moves the interaction (relationship) backwards, since it moves you further away from the next step in the relationship. In the future, I'd recommend only seeing a girl once or twice a week at the start of the relationship.

I'd suggest reading up on this article:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/relat ... se-instead

-John
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Ktowndub

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 10, 2014
Messages
28
Hey, thanks for this advice. I had actually made 2 posts about my situation, read thru the other post in this forum "TOO MUCH TOO FAST, NOW ITS GONE" ,, if you don't mind, and see if you can lend me some advice as to the current situation with this girl
 

Thedoctor

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jun 13, 2013
Messages
512
Ktown,

I quickly skimmed through the thread as it is quite long. It seems like you already have some good replies. I'll only add one thing. I get the impression you are attracted to crazy. When you "momentarily" have this girl, the sex is great and she evokes some strong emotions, but the rest of the time she has you chasing her and over-investing in her. This pattern can go on forever and you can never fully have her. You keep playing her game and you reward her when she does things that are clearly unacceptable. For instance, she starts texting a guy that is making her upset and she instantly gets a lot of attention from you. I'd recommend moving on.

Here's a few more good articles:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/8-red ... -stay-away
https://www.girlschase.com/content/spott ... er-b-women

https://www.girlschase.com/content/8-sig ... really-you (This one is the most recent article put out on the main page.I think it could still be flushed out a bit into what to look for if you happen to be seeing / dating an attention whore).

-John
 

Ktowndub

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 10, 2014
Messages
28
Thanks so much John.. I think at this time I do need to pull myself back out of this situation. I think it's very fair that U said it seems I am attracted to crazy. I have thought that many times before. The sad thing is I knew what was happening and yet I still seem to think that I can overcome that challenge when in all seriousness, I don't need to. I appreciate ur advice and I will heed to it..
 
Top