-+- Need answers. Thanks. -+-

[Romy]

Hey guys. I think this is gonna be a little longer post so bear with me as I really need some answers from master levels of understanding women in general. I think of myself as an intermediate level at picking up girls. I'm good looking, jacked and have no problem talking to women, specially the ones I like. Don't mistake my honesty with arrogance or condescension here because I'm only doing this to better myself. On the flip side, I'm pretty frustrated with the dating game because I don't have as much success as I should have. I approach approximately 20 times a month and each month I have at least one girl with whom I 90% of the time land a date. The process goes like this:

1. Approach
2. Get the number
3. Set up the date through text (I sometimes call them)

That's it. I don't like wasting time. Smalltalk usually isn't an option through texts. I'm pretty conservative and I flush out the bad ones fast because I want a serious girlfriend. Now, essentially, the problem is this: either they don't bite that fast or I eject too fast.

I've asked around my social circles for advice and the responses and reactions are a bit confusing because it sometimes contradicts with what's taught here. There are two general problems I have, according to masses: my female friends told me, on couple of occasions, that the girls whom I failed with for whichever reason were intimidated by me (reason: looks, playerish attitude) because of the speed at which I interact with them. Combining that with looks, it seems they auto-reject, going by our lingo. Needless to say, it seems I need to slow down. My main question here is, is there such a thing, that a girl auto-rejects because of looks and speed of interaction even though I'm genuinely nice and warm?

The second problem I might have is me giving up too fast or not putting enough effort. In our lingo, it seems I don't chase enough and don't show genuine interest that way. So mediocre masses think that sometimes chasing is needed to get her which totally contradicts the dogma here. At least to get the good girl, who is shy and just the relationship type. Should I give them a little bit more time to process the chaos in their heads or just next them like I do now?

I might not remember all I wanted to say here but I hope I will because of your responses. I thank you in advance.

 

[ray_zorse]

Without a detailed FR it is hard to say specifically what you might be doing wrong, although it does sound like you have a pretty good idea yourself. Having said that I'm not sure it's a good idea to be taking advice from your female friends unless they were actually with you on the date (which would be weird), did you give your friend a detailed verbal FR before seeking her advice? If so why not share the same info here. Overall I think you have to be quite careful taking advice from those who haven't studied seduction, especially if they are female (and even sometimes if they are dudes who are natural) the advice is often the opposite of what works.

Now as to your issue... well what you describe as a roadblock is not really that unusual, when I started out I couldn't approach, eventually I could approach but not get a conversation, eventually I could get a conversation but not a number, and so on... typically when a dude starts getting plenty of dates but no totty he gets very frustrated (I remember making a post when I got to that stage, and there's one in beginners board now as there often is)... don't worry it's just a stage, you have to experiment a little, analyze your dates and just push through the roadblock. Let me give you some ideas.

So your theory is it's attainability, well what evidence do you have of this? Is she warm and excited about you and then suddenly turns cold and narky (consistent with protecting herself/her ago against rejection)? If so then it could be attainability, but equally likely it could be missed escalation window.

Honestly I'm quite doubtful of your theory. How good are your body fundamentals, do you work out every day and have a sculpted abs? How about your fashion, do you wear expensive shirts, accessorize with jewellery and matching boots, use cologne, have a boss haircut, a unique style? How is your voice, do you speak from diaphragm with depth and resonance? Most importantly your eye contact, can you maintain it unbroken for 30sec without feeling uncomfortable? What about your posture and walk, do you move slowly and sexy, chest out, bum up, gut tucked in? Do you use long pauses with laser eye contact and touch to build tension? Do you create a bubble and pull her in, never breaking circle? Do you dismiss others in a group that distract or don't add value?

If you answered "yes" to 80% of the questions above then I will buy your theory that you're a fucking boss and it is scaring women away. In that case what you have to do is adopt lots of attainability tech -- qualifying her extensively, building lots of connection through deep diving, using touch appropriately... and obviously try not to do anything playerish, act like a regular guy who just wants to date and find "the one", even though your fundamentals are screaming "dude with options out the wazoo, potential player, lets not burn ourselves".

Much more likely though, your problem is much more mundane. A problem I was having for a while was my dates were too friendly, more like a hangout between buddies -- we connected well but on a platonic level not a sexual level. Solved by use of fundamentals as above. Another issue is always not moving fast enough, until you gain experience it's difficult to get this right, you basically need to move about five times faster than you would expect as a novice guy, i.e. novice guy takes her on a 2.5hr date and gets her into bed, but the last 2hrs was wasted time building comfort he didn't need since she was already keen to sleep with him at the 30min mark.

Go get em champ You're doing good, just persist and keep doing what you are doing since even if you don't make changes you will crack some pussy anyway just by playing the numbers, and every reference point is quite valuable right now.

Ray

 

[Romy]

Without a detailed FR it is hard to say specifically what you might be doing wrong, although it does sound like you have a pretty good idea yourself. Having said that I'm not sure it's a good idea to be taking advice from your female friends unless they were actually with you on the date (which would be weird), did you give your friend a detailed verbal FR before seeking her advice? If so why not share the same info here. Overall I think you have to be quite careful taking advice from those who haven't studied seduction, especially if they are female (and even sometimes if they are dudes who are natural) the advice is often the opposite of what works.

Now as to your issue... well what you describe as a roadblock is not really that unusual, when I started out I couldn't approach, eventually I could approach but not get a conversation, eventually I could get a conversation but not a number, and so on... typically when a dude starts getting plenty of dates but no totty he gets very frustrated (I remember making a post when I got to that stage, and there's one in beginners board now as there often is)... don't worry it's just a stage, you have to experiment a little, analyze your dates and just push through the roadblock. Let me give you some ideas.

So your theory is it's attainability, well what evidence do you have of this? Is she warm and excited about you and then suddenly turns cold and narky (consistent with protecting herself/her ago against rejection)? If so then it could be attainability, but equally likely it could be missed escalation window.

Honestly I'm quite doubtful of your theory. How good are your body fundamentals, do you work out every day and have a sculpted abs? How about your fashion, do you wear expensive shirts, accessorize with jewellery and matching boots, use cologne, have a boss haircut, a unique style? How is your voice, do you speak from diaphragm with depth and resonance? Most importantly your eye contact, can you maintain it unbroken for 30sec without feeling uncomfortable? What about your posture and walk, do you move slowly and sexy, chest out, bum up, gut tucked in? Do you use long pauses with laser eye contact and touch to build tension? Do you create a bubble and pull her in, never breaking circle? Do you dismiss others in a group that distract or don't add value?

If you answered "yes" to 80% of the questions above then I will buy your theory that you're a fucking boss and it is scaring women away. In that case what you have to do is adopt lots of attainability tech -- qualifying her extensively, building lots of connection through deep diving, using touch appropriately... and obviously try not to do anything playerish, act like a regular guy who just wants to date and find "the one", even though your fundamentals are screaming "dude with options out the wazoo, potential player, lets not burn ourselves".

Much more likely though, your problem is much more mundane. A problem I was having for a while was my dates were too friendly, more like a hangout between buddies -- we connected well but on a platonic level not a sexual level. Solved by use of fundamentals as above. Another issue is always not moving fast enough, until you gain experience it's difficult to get this right, you basically need to move about five times faster than you would expect as a novice guy, i.e. novice guy takes her on a 2.5hr date and gets her into bed, but the last 2hrs was wasted time building comfort he didn't need since she was already keen to sleep with him at the 30min mark.

Go get em champ You're doing good, just persist and keep doing what you are doing since even if you don't make changes you will crack some pussy anyway just by playing the numbers, and every reference point is quite valuable right now.

Ray

Thanks for the reply. As far as interaction on dates goes, I'm far from a beginner so I can say that I'm doing fine, which is why I think it's auto-rejection. I don't take their advice seriously, more like with a grain of salt. I'm not sharing the detailed info because I'm not being specific, I have a low success rate in general despite being fairly competent with women.

Yeah, I am a bit frustrated, even more so that I have to even address this issue. But hey, better to address it than leave it alone.

In general, they're very very shy and I seem to be dominating the conversation. I'm pretty social and extraverted so it's to be expected. They all smile through the convo and I can feel they find me physically attractive, I get the number but they chicken out either on a date or through texts. My guess would be attainability, yeah.

My body fundamentals are very good. So much that people find me condescending which is why I actually try to lower my energy level in that department so a girl doesn't think I'm a douchebag. Working out every day, wighted vest pullups are a standard, 12-13% bodyfat so abs are visible as much as a natural can do. I'm pretty toned so I wear tight shirts, necklace, earring. I basically look like Jason Statham, if that helps (even the shaved head, yeah). Very deep voice, no problem with holding eye contact. Chest out, shoulders back, slow movement. I can feel being noticed on the street. I usually isolate them and one on one ensues.

That's what people tell me. Too much macho outward look. But I can't do much about it, neither do I want to. The irony here is that despite the outward looks, I'm pretty emotional and warm.

My pace is pretty good I think. When it gets to that, all is well. I'm generally interested in flakes and the auto-rejection part - is it the problem with me or them with those kinds of girls.

Thanks for the support and kind words!