FR Need insight: Two little situations

[Black]

Recently I'm meeting a lot of girls through extended social circle.
Basically medium gatherings where I know a few persons but there's always new people coming in.
This is also in Asia, so it's easy to get a lot of attention.
I'm very comfortable alternating flirting and deep-diving.
So far I'm communicating sexual intent with body language and eye contact; I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing but it seems a lot like I'm getting the point across; making them interested/excited too.

Girl A:
Made friends with her and two other people. Got her contact info but did not proceed further because I (mistakenly) felt she, with her limited English and everything, might be "old fashioned". I sent her a random message after the weekend and she's very into chatting with me; replying like three paragraphs for each question or comment of mine. She tells me this other guy "X" we met (for like 5 minutes) invited her to his appartment to cook dinner for him, then they went out to some bar and he left.
I continue with my day but at night there's more messages from her; she has days off work; obviously wants to meet up with me.

What's going on here? If she's sleeping with this guy. . . why is she investing in me?
Is she that naive that she had a horny guy over, nothing happened, and assumes we are all friends and so she tells me?

Girl B:
This get's better. . .
A week later, I go to the same gathering. I sit beside guy X who is blatantly ignoring girl A on the neighbouring table. I turn to her and we quickly get a conversation going. Unfortunately, she's with a socially uncalibrated older woman who either wants me to talk to her instead; or will talk to girl A in a way that I cannot butt in. I struggled with this for a bit until the older woman asked me to switch places with her so that she could talk to girl A undisturbed; this puts me sitting together on a couch with girl B, who I had seen before at least twice (but had not been interested 'till then).

What followed was awesome. I had her laughing hysterically when I teased her. We deep dived. We joked. I opened my body language to her; when I deliberatedly closed it, she turned completely to me; played with her hair, touched me to get my attention. . . I love using strong eye contact and I could see this mixture of nervousness and excitement in her eyes.
Anyway! We got to the point where she was tellling me where she lived on a map and I asked her if she lived with her parents (mid 20's girl). When I asked her this she did something very strange: as she answered "yes", she gave me a quiet blank look (my interpretation is that she noticed major sexual interested on my part), then said "I'm going back home". I could not make if she was scared, angry or just testing me. I'd say the later because she didn't take her eyes of me, studying me in a very careful non-flirty way. I was surprised and kind off shrugged shoulders and said "ok".
But then something else happened very quickly. . . she got up to leave and said "I'm leaving. . . you are not leaving too?. . . fine, I'll leave alone"
Before leaving she asked me if I was going to the next gathering and I told her I hadn't decided (it's true: I don't want to become a fixture there) and told her "if you want to know, add me to Whatsapp and ask me" (she complied).

Looks like I missed something. . . eh? Should I have left with her? Unless it was immediate passionate sex, I don't know what she was thinking; I didn't see the point of leaving just to follow her (we go in different directions BTW). I haven't communicated with her ever since. Might see her again towards the weekend in these gathering things but I might not even get to speak to her depending on how things pan out (other girls wanting to talk to me, her being talking to another guy, etc. . .). Definitely don't want to chase and have everyone see me chasing her. . .

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: Need insight: Two little situations

Black,

I'd say the later because she didn't take her eyes of me, studying me in a very careful non-flirty way. I was surprised and kind off shrugged shoulders and said "ok".
But then something else happened very quickly. . . she got up to leave and said "I'm leaving. . . you are not leaving too?. . . fine, I'll leave alone"
Before leaving she asked me if I was going to the next gathering and I told her I hadn't decided (it's true: I don't want to become a fixture there) and told her "if you want to know, add me to Whatsapp and ask me" (she complied).

There's a time lapse where she suddenly stop and wonder if you are a lover or not. She seems to be hesitant because you were somewhat a good social material. This is what i perceive.

I do think she wanted to leave with you. Take her excuse and make it as yours the next time you see such situations with other women. As for her, do not chase after her. Go with the flow, see how things goes where you can push for something.

Zac

 

[Black]

Re: Need insight: Two little situations

Thank you,

I've now managed to set up a one-on-one encounter with this girl, thou now I'm hopelessly slipping into the friend category due to other errors. :'(

Seeing other girls on the side as usual. . .

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: Need insight: Two little situations

Black,

thou now I'm hopelessly slipping into the friend category due to other errors. :'(

If she likes you still, there will be opportunity. The fact that she ask you to move with her the other time has a lot of potential. and now she agrees to meet you personally. I suggest getting early sexual jokes on and see her response. If she is not responsive, tread and see if you can push further still. IF she doesn't budge, at least you have a friend. Hopefully she's beautiful.

Zac

 

[Black]

Re: Need insight: Two little situations

Ok! Met up with her again! I'm kind of sick now and cannot do anything bigger until I feel well again; so we just practiced languages.

BUT. . . it was smoother than last time. We changed venue to try something different. There was sexual tension - with comfort.

She stopped herself from hitting or touching my bare arm/shoulder many times - so I made a game of leaning in those missing one or two inches to make contact and teased her about it. After that she just kept touching/caressing me.

She agreed to some vague idea of dinner next time and we spoke about some stuff I want to show her (she brought this up a second time herself).

I don't understand anything about the three-hour hotels here but I'm moving into my own place this week!

 

[Chase]

Black-

Enjoyable little interactions here. I moved this one to the Field Reports Board (from Beginners) and retitled it as an FR since this is a field report (as these were new women you met, and not friends).

Girl A:
Made friends with her and two other people. Got her contact info but did not proceed further because I (mistakenly) felt she, with her limited English and everything, might be "old fashioned". I sent her a random message after the weekend and she's very into chatting with me; replying like three paragraphs for each question or comment of mine. She tells me this other guy "X" we met (for like 5 minutes) invited her to his appartment to cook dinner for him, then they went out to some bar and he left.
I continue with my day but at night there's more messages from her; she has days off work; obviously wants to meet up with me.

What's going on here? If she's sleeping with this guy. . . why is she investing in me?
Is she that naive that she had a horny guy over, nothing happened, and assumes we are all friends and so she tells me?

It doesn't sound to me like they slept together. 30% they did, 70% they didn't. She might've. I wouldn't worry about it either way though if you just want to sleep with her; when a girl's writing you novels, just invite her over to cook a meal like that guy did... then do what he didn't (or did; doesn't really matter).

When I asked her this she did something very strange: as she answered "yes", she gave me a quiet blank look (my interpretation is that she noticed major sexual interested on my part), then said "I'm going back home". I could not make if she was scared, angry or just testing me. I'd say the later because she didn't take her eyes of me, studying me in a very careful non-flirty way. I was surprised and kind off shrugged shoulders and said "ok".
But then something else happened very quickly. . . she got up to leave and said "I'm leaving. . . you are not leaving too?. . . fine, I'll leave alone"
Before leaving she asked me if I was going to the next gathering and I told her I hadn't decided (it's true: I don't want to become a fixture there) and told her "if you want to know, add me to Whatsapp and ask me" (she complied).

Looks like I missed something. . . eh? Should I have left with her? Unless it was immediate passionate sex, I don't know what she was thinking; I didn't see the point of leaving just to follow her (we go in different directions BTW).

I doubt she stood up thinking, "Okay, if he wants sex, let's go"; it seems more like a "Wow, we have incredible chemistry - we need to get out away from the rest of these people; let me give him a chance to do that with me." So she stood up to create an opening for you.

Could you have turned this into fast intimacy? I don't know... maybe. But even if you couldn't have, your best move here would've been a very nonchalant, "Yeah, I was just heading out too. Let me grab my jacket," and then rising and walking out with her.

Then just see what you can do. Chances are you could probably keep spending time with her there; even if not, she's so warmed up you could easily pull her into you on the side of the street once you were outside and give her something to look forward to for next time.

Definitely don't want to chase and have everyone see me chasing her. . .

Hmm. Well, I don't know the dynamics of the group or what your objectives are in it. Typically when you see a woman invite a man like this, and the man very smoothly goes along with her invite and leaves, it's somewhat ambiguous what's going on but all the other girls there say to themselves, "Oh wow; he must be sleeping with her, and she's clearly super into him if she's trying to get him coming with her like that instead of just leaving on her own." Which is generally a lot of preselection. This is normally no pain and all gain if you're calm about how you follow her out at her request.

Chase

 

[Black]

Girl A. . .
Ended like this. . .
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=7474
No wonder guy X was ignoring her while going out of his way to greet me.
Then after that night she stopped contacting me each other day. . . and two or three days later, she started sending signlas to this other guy in our circle.
That went on for a week with the guy being more and more interested. . . then it stopped abruptly too.
Haven't seen her ever again. . . even at the gatherings.

I doubt she stood up thinking, "Okay, if he wants sex, let's go"; it seems more like a "Wow, we have incredible chemistry - we need to get out away from the rest of these people; let me give him a chance to do that with me." So she stood up to create an opening for you.

Could you have turned this into fast intimacy? I don't know... maybe. But even if you couldn't have, your best move here would've been a very nonchalant, "Yeah, I was just heading out too. Let me grab my jacket," and then rising and walking out with her.

Then just see what you can do. Chances are you could probably keep spending time with her there; even if not, she's so warmed up you could easily pull her into you on the side of the street once you were outside and give her something to look forward to for next time.

[...]

Typically when you see a woman invite a man like this, and the man very smoothly goes along with her invite and leaves, it's somewhat ambiguous what's going on but all the other girls there say to themselves, "Oh wow; he must be sleeping with her, and she's clearly super into him if she's trying to get him coming with her like that instead of just leaving on her own." Which is generally a lot of preselection. This is normally no pain and all gain if you're calm about how you follow her out at her request.

Awesome tip.

Girl B, got her to remove herself together with me from that gathering and we meet up separatedly.
In theory, it's language exchange but she can't get her hands off me. . . and lately has been very active on instant messaging.
I'm trying to set up next meeting near my uni in hopes of inviting her to my room later on - there are some 2-3 dollar a meal places we can go to. . . I guess without risking falling into the category of the boring rich guys her mom sets her up with.
. . .a Southeast Asian girl-friend (who a year ago I failed to attract for "being shy") is giving me some tips; she thinks I should escalate physically before trying to get her to come over; for example by touching her back when she touches me; I suppose there's one or two ways this could work but not many. . .
Despite her age, I feel this girl is kind of soft and (relatively) unexperienced.

 

[Black]

Just met up with girl B tonight. 3rd time I see her 1 on 1. Nothing happened.

As usual, I'm not even sure why is she meeting up with me - as I don't pay her anything nor compliment her.
We supposedly do language exchange together but I think I still get the better share of the situation because her English is very limited - so it's more than half the language I want to practice.

This meet up I didn't have much time to plan or ask her out with logistics in mind; waited till the last minute. . .
The only thing that draws my attention is that she agreed to an extra half hour in the subway (for her alone) so that we could meet up at a place that's at walking distance from where I am - her alternative is to meet up with a dozen or so other people at a place that's much more convenient to her.
She forsakes her participation in that social circle for this meet up we do.

When our time ended I suggested she accompanied me to have a bite somewhere (dinner) but she didn't comply (she herself already had, much, much earlier).

There was some sex talk, plus laughing histerically, touch and fiddling with hair on her part. I touched and held her hand for a sec in response and she didn't flinch. That's all.

. . . but, as usual, I'm hitting a wall where it's impossible to advance; I don't see any windows of escalation even if I try and stir the conversation to topics relevant to moving forward. I'm my opinion, I thought she liked me, but she doesn't give a f*ck, she just meets up with me and I'm not sure why.

. . .and the final joke: I was telling her how a lot of people seem to think I have dozens of girls around when I'm actually quite shy (as part of a larger conversation). . . she tells me she also thinks "I have a lot of girls". . .
To this day I don't know if they say this to get me to admit I'm a step away from re-gaining virginity or they really think it. . .
My point is that if my fundamentals are bad enough for me to not get any results whatsoever - over months - then it cannot possibly be an "invisible problem".

Edit:

I'm thinking about doing either of two things: cut communications (I'll probably have to discard her altogether as she'll see me chasing new girls in certain venues) or ask her out within the next few days to do something "fun" this weekend and kick the "we are doing language exchange" frame out the window.