So , I have a sticking point in my growth.
Even though i'm getting better, i still feel like i'm too needy with friends and girlfriends.
What i mean by that is that I am somewhat dependent from them and - especially with friends - am almost always the first one who conctacts them to meet them.
I got out of the main group of my friends because I did not want to become like them and , to be frank with you , the people u spend time around have a TREMENDOUS impact on who you are gonna become. This is not just a way of saying folks.
In this moment of my life , i'm not super busy and so it's hard for me not to see my girlfriend more than 3 times a week ( a rule i strongly believe in following and did so succesfully up untill now )
In order for me not to do that though , I need to have something i want to do on other days and so sometimes I try to set up meeting with some old friends to avoid breaking that girlfriend rule..
Two problems with that though: 1 i hate to be so weak! i want to, and must become independent when it comes to emotional support. I mean, why the fuck should i need to see other people not to see my girl? it's possible to avoid doing that even without having to cling onto someone else.
2 i m afraid and feel needy toward some of these friends a have. I feel like, since everyone is a commodity and I'm not in that group (PROUDLY) , they don't need me. Now, While the situation scares me and i must overcome these fears and not give a fuck, i would still want to learn how to keep abundance in my friendships, because in the end, that's what this neediness comes down from.
Now let me say this, i'm a socially savvy guy with lots of friends, but almost none i d like to spend a lot of time with.
So I'm feeling needy toward old friends not contacting me as often as i do, and not want to see me outside of their social group.
Now, aside from value ,wich I think i have way more than everyone of this friends i'm contacting, my sticking point has to be with entitlement and lack of repetition in tackling that fear of ''being alone at night without friends '' that shows once every two weeks..
Fear of being alone is always irrational however, and it may even be fear of change..( in any case, the only thing that matters is overcoming it!)
How do you overcome it? Chase ??
To me , 3 things i want to do to get over emotional support and build self reliance ( complete ownership) and abundance in friendship.
1 replace the time i would spend with this guys or girls doing some emotionally more charged activity. ( learning night game - a tremendous life skill - for example )
2 be willing to go through some (short term ) pain , to see a (medium term) huge benefit.
3 build more options in those friendships. Have more variety of people to see, so that u never become dependent on anyone specifically.
Emotional dependency is probably one of the best weaknesses one can have and , as such, when overcame (and tranformed into EFFECTIVE self reliance) , it can become of the strongest assets one can build.
CHASE, and all the other guys on the blog, what do you think???
I want to go over this sticking point, because , SELF RELIANCE AND DISCIPLINE are the two most important skills I can build now, and for sure 2 of the most important life skills for everyone to develop.
Even though i'm getting better, i still feel like i'm too needy with friends and girlfriends.
What i mean by that is that I am somewhat dependent from them and - especially with friends - am almost always the first one who conctacts them to meet them.
I got out of the main group of my friends because I did not want to become like them and , to be frank with you , the people u spend time around have a TREMENDOUS impact on who you are gonna become. This is not just a way of saying folks.
In this moment of my life , i'm not super busy and so it's hard for me not to see my girlfriend more than 3 times a week ( a rule i strongly believe in following and did so succesfully up untill now )
In order for me not to do that though , I need to have something i want to do on other days and so sometimes I try to set up meeting with some old friends to avoid breaking that girlfriend rule..
Two problems with that though: 1 i hate to be so weak! i want to, and must become independent when it comes to emotional support. I mean, why the fuck should i need to see other people not to see my girl? it's possible to avoid doing that even without having to cling onto someone else.
2 i m afraid and feel needy toward some of these friends a have. I feel like, since everyone is a commodity and I'm not in that group (PROUDLY) , they don't need me. Now, While the situation scares me and i must overcome these fears and not give a fuck, i would still want to learn how to keep abundance in my friendships, because in the end, that's what this neediness comes down from.
Now let me say this, i'm a socially savvy guy with lots of friends, but almost none i d like to spend a lot of time with.
So I'm feeling needy toward old friends not contacting me as often as i do, and not want to see me outside of their social group.
Now, aside from value ,wich I think i have way more than everyone of this friends i'm contacting, my sticking point has to be with entitlement and lack of repetition in tackling that fear of ''being alone at night without friends '' that shows once every two weeks..
Fear of being alone is always irrational however, and it may even be fear of change..( in any case, the only thing that matters is overcoming it!)
How do you overcome it? Chase ??
To me , 3 things i want to do to get over emotional support and build self reliance ( complete ownership) and abundance in friendship.
1 replace the time i would spend with this guys or girls doing some emotionally more charged activity. ( learning night game - a tremendous life skill - for example )
2 be willing to go through some (short term ) pain , to see a (medium term) huge benefit.
3 build more options in those friendships. Have more variety of people to see, so that u never become dependent on anyone specifically.
Emotional dependency is probably one of the best weaknesses one can have and , as such, when overcame (and tranformed into EFFECTIVE self reliance) , it can become of the strongest assets one can build.
CHASE, and all the other guys on the blog, what do you think???
I want to go over this sticking point, because , SELF RELIANCE AND DISCIPLINE are the two most important skills I can build now, and for sure 2 of the most important life skills for everyone to develop.
