Negative compliance momentum

[LovelyDesires]

Spot girl
Open girl
Intro name
Banter

I realized when bantering that many of the time i was getting the girl to say 'no', in a way that shes smiling as she said it.

Me: Actually, i was using this app that finds me the hottest girl within 100m radius. It found u.
Her: No, i dont use that kind of apps. (while smiling and holding in her laugh)
Me: Oh so u saw me and then u deleted the app.
Her: No (bigger smile)

She: Im here for a concert
Me: Justin Bieber?
She: Nope, some kpop band
Me: Big Bang?
She: Nope
Me: Whats it then?
She: Ak (forgot the name)
Me: So you are into guys with rock hard abs
She: No not really (Smiling)

Although its a harmless 'no', I feel that it would affect her compliance levels later on. (Probably why im not getting numbers)
However i keep using it because it was easy ;just claim that she likes a certain genre of people and stuff, based on what she said previously.
How to banter in a way that minimizes the 'no' that she says?

 

[Man-O]

As I see it with the two examples you're just trying to steamroll your oppinion on her. That never builds rapport and instead it will either be redirected or ignored by them and it may look like you're either:

a: A clown.
b: A try-harder/needy.
c: An awkward guy who doesn't listen.

All the examples are actually pushing her away from you, even though you have fun saying those things it won't add connection, nr., or lay. You may however be able to do it later in the conversation if you make the connection but make sure to be serious too.

Me: Actually, i was using this app that finds me the hottest girl within 100m radius. It found u.
Her: No, i dont use that kind of apps. (while smiling and holding in her laugh)
Me: Oh so u saw me and then u deleted the app. -> here you could actually qualify her. The opener is great. "So you're one of those few girls who're into meeting ppl in-person?"
Her: No (bigger smile) -> Smiles due to you chasing.

She: Im here for a concert
Me: Justin Bieber? -> You could've said "I was about to say Justin Bieber but you seem too old for that "
She: Nope, some kpop band -> You could even make it as simple "why?", or give her your oppinion on kpop.
Me: Big Bang? -> Here you keep on steam rolling. Know that there's a limit on how much you can keep being funny without being serious. And just after approaching the limit isn't that high. Now you might become annoying. Also, like this you become a lot like the chaser. Why not make her find out something about you?
She: Nope
Me: Whats it then?
She: Ak (forgot the name)
Me: So you are into guys with rock hard abs -> you keep on.
She: No not really (Smiling) -> The smile is polite.

Nevertheless (done this myself in the beginning and still get the habit at times). Some girls are just hard to gauge as they either got a very timid and/or boring life or maybe just in a bad mood. Then you will earn lots of "no's".

 

[Troy]

LD,

The problem is how you put the question. I'm guilty of this and lately I've begun restructuring my questions. To the girl it seems like you don't listen thus you don't understand her which causes her to not want to entertain your presence for long.

You are using too many cold reads without having any idea what she likes and doesn't like. Instead of saying " Justin Beiber? " say " what kind of music do you like? " or "who is your favourite artists? "

As I said I can relate so well to this. Last year I did this with girls so often that they got tired of me REAL fast. People want to feel like they are being heard.

It's great that you are working on bantering so continue. A quick example of your conversation refrased would be:

She: Im here for a concert
Me: Oh what kind of music you like?
She: some kpop band
Me: oh that band has great music. (Funny line here that doesn't insult her or what she likes. Something cool that the group did )
She: Lol ( since she laughed first you are free to laugh now )
Me: ( relate to her music by telling a short story ) kpop band is so awesome. They make you feel really happy ( use playful nonverbals here to demonstrate )
She: Yeah lol... ( build a yes ladder from here and keep flirting )

You get the idea. Work on those and if you need more advice send me a PM.

Troy

 

[LovelyDesires]

Great, that is a really good qualifying line.
"So you're one of those few girls who're into meeting ppl in-person?"
Building rapid connection is more than just about making girls laugh. Rather, its about rephrasing her words to be on the same side as her. (Doesnt like online dating -> More into meeting people face to face)

However i dont really like the part about

Me: oh that band has great music. (Funny line here that doesn't insult her or what she likes. Something cool that the group did )
She: Lol ( since she laughed first you are free to laugh now )
Me: ( relate to her music by telling a short story ) kpop band is so awesome. They make you feel really happy ( use playful nonverbals here to demonstrate )
She: Yeah lol... ( build a yes ladder from here and keep flirting )

Its not that its bad. Its great, but just done too early in the conversation. Trying to establish rapport too early is like trying to force a connection, which tends to backfire. I get this a lot because I was previously a nice guy, who tends to go right into building rapport right from the start.

Thanks for the opinions Man O and Troy,
Nobel