This has evolved from a semi-cold approach to more of a social circle style...
Gym background:
Questions:
I'm hopeful for this one. Thanks guys!
Gym background:
- Small with ~10 members inside the gym on average at any one time
- Gym has pretty much all the equipment that you need minus the highly-specialized ones
- Doesn't have a commercial gym vibe (aka staff knows everyone)
- I'm on very good terms with the staff and joke around with them
- Members-wise, I would say maybe half talks to others and the other half keeps to themselves
- Also pretty well-acquainted with the members, both guys and girls, and know all the regulars
- She was facing my machine and in an area all by herself so I opened her
- What I learned
- Just moved here from Southeast Asia
- Was a nurse there and will continue working as a nurse in a few months
- Apparently she's not working ATM though (my friend told me to dig into how she's supporting herself then)
- Admitted that she likes to watch a lot of shows on Disney+
- Has been gyming for a while and is in great shape
- Has a friend that she's close to in town
- Likes traveling
- What she asked
- My background
- What I do for work
- What I do to relax besides gyming
- How's it like to live here
- I qualified her on how I like how she's bold traveling to the US all by herself
- I soft closed her that since she's new, I have to show her around the city someday
- She gives a maybe cuz she's 'busy'
- I number closed her and said we need to stay in touch
- I used the Skills method to text myself from her phone and she laughed at that lol
- I texted her a funny nurse meme that weekend
- She never responded and I haven't texted her since
- I didn't talk to her at all
- I talked to a lot of the people all around her to increase social proof
- Also flirted with a girl across from her for pre-selection
- She's like on her phone the whole time with earphones in whenever she's not doing a set so not sure how much she was paying attention
- I didn't see her the whole week so nothing to add
- She shows up and hangs out in the corner with the Smith machine, again with earphones and glued to phone
- She saw me talking to one of my guy friends
- Instead of moving over and talking to her directly, I first talked to a girl friend who's directly in her line of sight
- Good convo and we were vibing
- Then I moved over to her and caught up
- She took a week break from the gym
- I asked her what else she's been up to and she added that she's watching a lot of HBO and Netflix
- She's said something about trying to find a temp job in the meantime
- She went with her friend to a festival that I suggested and said she enjoyed it
- Asked me whether I was there and I just said I went last year and had other plans
- She lives in the same apartment as her friend, but they're not housemates or roommates
- I asked her area of specialty in nursing, and she said she worked in ER in the past...
- Throughout the convo she was like 75% focused with the rest of her efforts on swapping plates on and off the bar
- This was a flirty convo btw
- I had to go, said bye, and left the gym
- She's in the yoga room on a mat doing some light dumbbell and kettlebell exercises facing the mirror
- I casually pop in and approach her over my shoulder
- Throughout the approach, there's light touching from my end on high points
- She keeps working out though so I do some made up stretches, so it doesn't look like I'm just there to talk to her lol
- We made small talk over sleeping pills, the new yoga instructor (neither of us goes to their class), and how she doesn't know how to budget
- She also said that she's not that busy now, has been doing a lot of shopping, and checking out some places nearby
- I asked if she could drive and she said she can but doesn't have a license
- It's ok people in the US drive all the time without a driver's license so it's cool as long as you don't get caught
- She said that she doesn't know anyone here (including in our gym) to help her if she's in trouble and if I could help
- I'm like yeah I can bail you out for a grand but you gotta pay me two grands in return
- I soft close a few mins later and said she should go on an adventure with a cool guy outside the gym
- She asks who the cool guy is, and I'm like who else is in here
- Then, she said that she's busy out of the gym (she literally said she wasn't that busy a few mins ago...)
- And she questions why we need to hang out outside when we're already hanging out at the gym
- I'm like there's more to do out there, cameras are everywhere inside here, and people might gossip and become judgmental
- She doesn't bite, so I leave it at that
- We do more small talk about how she spends way too much money
- I said it's time for her to rob a bank as a joke
- This wasn't going anywhere so I exit the convo
Questions:
- Seeing that this is becoming more of a semi-social circle game, where do I go from here to generate enough compliance to get her outside of the gym?
- I have 2 strategies in mind:
- Option 1: do what I've been doing where I ping her in person once in a while. If she declines the soft close, then I go silent for a few days. During those days, I try to get social proof and preselection in front of her. Then, I reopen a few days later and see if she bites
- Option 2: talk to her every time I see her. Actually, she's never the one that says hi first so I'll have to initiate. But keep the conversations to a few mins maximum. Make it small talk only and soft close again only if there's more visible interest (aka she asks questions and is focused on me instead of setting up her equipment for the next set)
I'm hopeful for this one. Thanks guys!
