FR New Girl

[Blessed]

I met this girl through social circle she gave signs of interest so I asked her out.

Fast Forward to date: I pick her up the drive was smooth. Conversation flowed smoothly also. I mostly conveyed about being carefree/non-judgemental w/e . We ended up at the movies like 11:00 she payed for her ticket which was about $18 bucks (the movie was 3D). I lead her by placing my hand by the small of her back into the theater. We ended getting out of the at 1:30 and she had work at like 5:00. So dropped her off and lead her to her apartment I grab her arm placed it behind my waist and lead her to her apartment...really disappointed on my planning of the date because of time constraint and couldn't really sexualize the interaction to much.

Sidenote-->My best friend told me " Hey bro she told my girlfriend that if you only looking for sex then you can just keep it moving" I know this is a frame but man I have struggles with these due to the lack of experience (sigh).

So in the intermission between date 1 and 2 she has been texting me alot which is fine I keep it pretty light and just to maintain interest. One of her text that was interesting

Her:Lol wait I know you didn't just remember my name off top
Me: huh? you thought I forgot your name
Her: Im surprised you remembered and spelled it correctly
Me: Wow im vaguely offended
Her: Lol my apologies you just took me by surprise. Thanks for remembering---> I honestly thinks she feels she's lower than me or something>I have attainability issues I think (sigh)
Me: I might not come across the perfect gentleman but if I enjoy's somebody's company I"m gonna remember their name
Her: Lol you not all that bad . I just try not get my hopes high on people because they have a habit of letting you down( no shade thrown) but no you seem to be a good guy
Me: Whats your plans next week?
Her: Sunday I can clear my schedule for you?

Fast Forward date 2: So today I take her to potbelly's (they have good chili) and again conversation flowed well but I did a little better sexualizing the interaction which she would almost blush in how open I was and I had intense eye contact but she was nervous in a way that was good but she seems to value my opinion alot and always looking for the right thing to say. For example, she had this image of shy and nervous(which is such a turn off for me) so I explained a story of my girl best friend and how she felt like a slut or w/e and told her how I don't like the word and it basically to dehumanized women because it deprives them to express their sexuality she agreed with this but when it came sex she of course was shy and conservative. Anyway I deep dived her she even said im really good and should go into pysch or w/e she couldn't believe some of the things she was telling me. She mentioning stuff how she has an aggressive side and how girls wanted to fight her because she was pretty.Anyway So I let her drive my car to see her driving skills this was for self amusement because w/e... She was timid and lack focus but it was fun and good laughs. I dropped her off and she wanted a hug w/e. I honestly might friend zone her idk it just nowadays i need girls who can challenge me mentally and sexually. I honeslty suck with girls who are shy and conservative. It just seems any progress you try to make with them would make them uncomfortable.

I was disappointed because I felt like I could've have work car sex but it just didn't feel right. But it didn't seem incongruent with the interaction (sigh). Well I know I'm getting better but this seduction shit it tough man just need some advice where do I go from here?

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey man, there's nothing wrong with conservative chicks.

Sometimes it can take a few dates (see the article on date compression) but they won't hate you for pushing the boundaries as far as possible, even if they're conservative they'll respect the fact that you tried to pull them home or whatnot. (Usually).

Anyway, in my experience the more repressed they are, the more fun it is to see them let go, which they will do eventually if treated right. You just have to pet them along, and be patient, persistent and dominant.

At the same time, if you feel the conservative image is manipulative (they're trying to place you in a provider category, or shame you for being a normal horny guy, or whatever), then it might be best to cut the cord.

It sounds like you have a pretty good idea of where you're going wrong, and that's in the date-planning department. Even if I'm meeting a chick for mid-morning coffee at the uni (about the most unlikely pull-scenario I can think of) I like to have a backup pull-plan in my head just in case things seem to be going super well.

Remember your date-plan doesn't have to be set in stone, it can just be a kind of idea or scenario that you're playing with in your head, and it can grow hairs, change colour etc as new facts come in or situations present themselves. Like if you get onto discussing films, seed a pull to watch a certain film on youtube / netflix... and modify your pull-plan accordingly on the fly. But a good overall process that works for me is coffee shop -> park -> home. Move her once, and then as it starts to get dark say something like "I'm hungry, let's go cook some food"... she'll say "where" and you say "somewhere with a kitchen" and lead her home.

Ray