New style of LMR confuses me - anyone else seen this?

[MrGoodVibes]

First off the amount of LMR I get has decreased from every girl in bed with me to 1 in 5 typically during date 2. (Big thanks to this site).

The few times I do get it (usually with the most desirable girls who know they're attractive & have options) it takes a form that throws me off.

Girls will take deep breathes and just lay still as I escalate on them then when I address it they openly say they're controlling themselves to not get turned on as they know it will lead to us having sex. This is apparently an issue because they feel:

1. "it will ruin things" i.e I will lose interest despite me reassuring them that won't be the case (and meaning it)

2."It's not something they do" which I'll translate to me being BF zoned even though I move quickly and/or I'm not sexy/edgy enough

Some may even gasp and clearly be horny but will still close down any advances.

After essentially a grind session the girls are more touchy & complimentary towards me but almost every time this has happened I have never met them again lol.

I have read most the LMR articles but still unsure what the underlying fix is except perhaps me being more aggressive/sexual & less boyfriend like?

For context my vibe is very warm and playful but still assertive which usually works well with exception to the 1 in 5.

Any ideas? Am I overthinking it and should just accept it as the nature of the game?

 

[trashKENNUT]

MrGV,

Something amiss.

I pinpoint this possibilities.

1)words use
2)vibe and precedent. (Precedent here means date and before that, meeting)
3)Environment
4)Process of escalation and not taking step backwards
5)follow her words too much

I suggest breaking this five points down, individually.

Zac

 

[Chase]

MrGoodVibes-

Glad to hear it on the reduction in last-minute resistance you've seen!

On those objections:

"It will ruin things" --> "Us being together doesn't ruin things. It creates things that might otherwise never be created."

"This isn't something I do" --> (kind of sweet, soft, kind of teasing/amused voice) "Wait... you're not a virgin, are you?" --> "No" --> (soft, amused voice) "Oh! Okay. Just making sure " --> [continue to escalate]

If she brings it up a second time --> "I know, I'm kind of a savage. Probably most of the men you date wait a long time and do things more tentatively. I'll try not to hurt you [bite her jawbone]"

Think of the latter statement as the woman seeking plausible deniability. The first response ("You're not a virgin are you?") calls her out on it and makes her realize it's not like you're about to deflower her or anything. The second response shifts the 'blame' for the sex off her and onto you, while also promising fun, exciting times. Better to wait until you've had her verbally establish that she does have sex with other men first though, so it's a smooth transition into response #2.

With the "she doesn't say anything"... try bursts of passion.

You may also want to just tackle it head on: "What's wrong, babe? I want you to be enjoying yourself, not clamming all up."

If you can get it out of her, you can tackle it.

Chase