- Joined
- Feb 22, 2019
- Messages
- 40
Hey everyone,
I am new to the forum but not necessarily new to game. I have some issues I need help with but I need help narrowing down what it is my issue is and how to overcome it. I have read books on game, even was a part of RSD. Personally, I hated RSD, it was one giant marketing scam in my opinion. I found Girls Chase and honestly could not be more impressed with the articles and quality of work on this site.
BACKGROUND:
I will be graduating as an engineer in a few months. Very excited about that. I have worked my ass off in order to achieve this.
My college social life suffered as a result of my major as well of self esteem and social anxiety issues from previous years. I have gotten significantly better at socializing. (In fact, people think I'm a naturally outgoing person at this point.) However, my game with women isn't very good. OR. It is good, and I just don't get myself the credit I think I deserve.
Essentially, I am a very attractive dude. I am not as fit as I would like to be but I am making great progress in the gym 4 days a week on top of my school work. I am looking to go into modeling after graduation part time. All of my female friends think I am very attractive, and one of them referred to me as "Universally attractive." However, I do not have the best game. I am a shy person, and introverted by nature. Being either of those things isn't bad, but I believe its my self esteem and my thoughts that hold me back.
Have I gotten with girls? Yes, 8s and 9s? Not sexually, but definitely close to it. I don't approach a whole lot at my college bars, I am afraid of getting a reputation.
I don't necessarily get rejected when I approach (cold shoulder, etc.) But it seems that my interactions wither on the vine, as in I don't know how to escalate or build attraction through dialogue. The funny thing is, when a girl approaches me, I have no problem talking, flirting, etc. A girl in Miami on spring break (I'd say a 7.5) literally came up to me within ten minutes of being in the bar. We were kino-ing within 15 minutes and I made out with her a bit before she had to leave. She goes to college an hour where I go to school and is down to chill at some point.
This being said, I am an attractive guy who is afraid to approach for fear of rejection, but also fear of being labeled and losing my flow as I take it hard. Like I said, I don't have the highest confidence at the times I would like it, but other times it seems fine. I feel a little unworthy because of my very lean body, but also because I haven't had the track record I think I should have. I think a lot and get way to nervous in front of a pretty girl. If she approached me, it would be fine, but its very hard for me to not think so much about it.
Another thing is I think about girls almost all the time, sometimes I wonder if the guys around me think about girls as much as I do. I keep myself busy, but I think this is scarcity mentality, but its hard to let go, as I really want to just prove to myself this isn't something that is impossible. Its hard for me to go out and have a good time unless I am actively doing something. If I am not out playing pool (which I am very good at) then the only reason I am out is to talk to girls. If I don't, I get bogged down and pissed at myself for not being able to. Its like if I put pressure on it, I won't win, however, its hard for me to not think about it as its kinda the only reason I go out.
My questions are: As a 23 year old about to enter an elite career, very attractive, gym enthusiast (getting my PT license as well), with many hobbies and interests, very capable of holding a conversation, and essentially an all around great guy and excellent potential boyfriend, go about meeting the girls I want to meet without fearing rejection, or feeling inadequate? I have had only 2 girlfriends my entire life, both of which lasted only a month. I have been with 7 girls in all, this past year (lost my V at 22), but only a few girls were worth it. I have the potential to be with 8s and 9s as I had a great intimate (no sex) time with this girl from Finland in Miami, who was totally attracted to be but the circumstances didn't allow the sex. She was the cutest girl I've ever had fun with.
I don't approach often in my college bars for fear of reputation
I tend to go out alone, but this often makes it difficult to have fun
The only reason I go out unless I am doing something is to socialize and flirt
If I fail, I get down on myself, but if I get down on myself, I can't try in the first place
I get the most depressed when I see average looking dudes with very pretty girls, as I have no idea how they met in the first place. The only thing I can think of is that my major, and my other social issues, made it difficult for me to focus on any of that stuff entirely. Which is fine, I love what I do. But it bothers me, logistically I don't understand how people naturally meet during times when that is difficult. ( I seldom got invited to parties but would find them during my freshman-sophomore year. Now I don't care but its the only way I feel better talking to girls without worrying about a reputation.
If anyone has any mental advice for me, or has been in the same position, I could use some Red-pilling.
My conclusion is this: I don't approach enough because I don't feel good enough, its not a norm, I'm afraid of a reputation, I feel I'm trying to hard, its the only reason I go out, I have negative thoughts that tell me I'm not good enough.
I need a perspective change, or some self realization.
Thank you guys, appreciate the time if anyone desires to read this.
I am new to the forum but not necessarily new to game. I have some issues I need help with but I need help narrowing down what it is my issue is and how to overcome it. I have read books on game, even was a part of RSD. Personally, I hated RSD, it was one giant marketing scam in my opinion. I found Girls Chase and honestly could not be more impressed with the articles and quality of work on this site.
BACKGROUND:
I will be graduating as an engineer in a few months. Very excited about that. I have worked my ass off in order to achieve this.
My college social life suffered as a result of my major as well of self esteem and social anxiety issues from previous years. I have gotten significantly better at socializing. (In fact, people think I'm a naturally outgoing person at this point.) However, my game with women isn't very good. OR. It is good, and I just don't get myself the credit I think I deserve.
Essentially, I am a very attractive dude. I am not as fit as I would like to be but I am making great progress in the gym 4 days a week on top of my school work. I am looking to go into modeling after graduation part time. All of my female friends think I am very attractive, and one of them referred to me as "Universally attractive." However, I do not have the best game. I am a shy person, and introverted by nature. Being either of those things isn't bad, but I believe its my self esteem and my thoughts that hold me back.
Have I gotten with girls? Yes, 8s and 9s? Not sexually, but definitely close to it. I don't approach a whole lot at my college bars, I am afraid of getting a reputation.
I don't necessarily get rejected when I approach (cold shoulder, etc.) But it seems that my interactions wither on the vine, as in I don't know how to escalate or build attraction through dialogue. The funny thing is, when a girl approaches me, I have no problem talking, flirting, etc. A girl in Miami on spring break (I'd say a 7.5) literally came up to me within ten minutes of being in the bar. We were kino-ing within 15 minutes and I made out with her a bit before she had to leave. She goes to college an hour where I go to school and is down to chill at some point.
This being said, I am an attractive guy who is afraid to approach for fear of rejection, but also fear of being labeled and losing my flow as I take it hard. Like I said, I don't have the highest confidence at the times I would like it, but other times it seems fine. I feel a little unworthy because of my very lean body, but also because I haven't had the track record I think I should have. I think a lot and get way to nervous in front of a pretty girl. If she approached me, it would be fine, but its very hard for me to not think so much about it.
Another thing is I think about girls almost all the time, sometimes I wonder if the guys around me think about girls as much as I do. I keep myself busy, but I think this is scarcity mentality, but its hard to let go, as I really want to just prove to myself this isn't something that is impossible. Its hard for me to go out and have a good time unless I am actively doing something. If I am not out playing pool (which I am very good at) then the only reason I am out is to talk to girls. If I don't, I get bogged down and pissed at myself for not being able to. Its like if I put pressure on it, I won't win, however, its hard for me to not think about it as its kinda the only reason I go out.
My questions are: As a 23 year old about to enter an elite career, very attractive, gym enthusiast (getting my PT license as well), with many hobbies and interests, very capable of holding a conversation, and essentially an all around great guy and excellent potential boyfriend, go about meeting the girls I want to meet without fearing rejection, or feeling inadequate? I have had only 2 girlfriends my entire life, both of which lasted only a month. I have been with 7 girls in all, this past year (lost my V at 22), but only a few girls were worth it. I have the potential to be with 8s and 9s as I had a great intimate (no sex) time with this girl from Finland in Miami, who was totally attracted to be but the circumstances didn't allow the sex. She was the cutest girl I've ever had fun with.
I don't approach often in my college bars for fear of reputation
I tend to go out alone, but this often makes it difficult to have fun
The only reason I go out unless I am doing something is to socialize and flirt
If I fail, I get down on myself, but if I get down on myself, I can't try in the first place
I get the most depressed when I see average looking dudes with very pretty girls, as I have no idea how they met in the first place. The only thing I can think of is that my major, and my other social issues, made it difficult for me to focus on any of that stuff entirely. Which is fine, I love what I do. But it bothers me, logistically I don't understand how people naturally meet during times when that is difficult. ( I seldom got invited to parties but would find them during my freshman-sophomore year. Now I don't care but its the only way I feel better talking to girls without worrying about a reputation.
If anyone has any mental advice for me, or has been in the same position, I could use some Red-pilling.
My conclusion is this: I don't approach enough because I don't feel good enough, its not a norm, I'm afraid of a reputation, I feel I'm trying to hard, its the only reason I go out, I have negative thoughts that tell me I'm not good enough.
I need a perspective change, or some self realization.
Thank you guys, appreciate the time if anyone desires to read this.
