Newbie Assignment

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Chase

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Introduction

(before you start, you may want to go through @Bacchus's prerequisite to the Newbie Assignment, if you haven't yet)

If you're brand new to the idea of approaching getting better with women and dating as a skill set, not to worry - most people in most parts of the world don't think of it that way yet, either. The great news is, anything can be learned as a skill - be that thing painting, writing, dancing, baseball, bodybuilding, public speaking, charisma, entrepreneurship, or yes, even dating.

The Bad(?) News: it's a lot of hard work. If you've ever had anyone tell you it's easy to become an expert pianist, or to be great at painting or baseball, they were lying. So too with women and dating. You'll have to put time in, and you'll have to put effort in, especially if you don't have much experience yet.

The Good News: anyone with the desire to learn how to be good with women can be good with women and get the kind of results he wants. The only thing that standing between the men who get what they want with women and the men who don't is working intelligently from a skill-building and deliberate practice perspective, and working hard from a repetition and grit perspective. Men who want to be lazy and want a magic pill won't get very far. Men who'd rather complain about what they don't have (looks, money, status, etc.) than work on what they could have (style, charisma, social savvy, etc.) also won't get very far. Men who are willing to work to get themselves to the point where they can bring the women of their dreams into their lives with ease - and keep them in their lives (if that's what they want) - are the ones who achieve mountains of success.

Required Reading from the Blog:


Required Reading from the Boards:

  • nino's Newbie Assignment: nino, our first member on the Girls Chase Boards to do the Newbie Assignment, took to the streets and made it through the exercises, faced a number of challenges, and took a pair of girls to bed before he was through with the assignment. If you want some inspiration to begin your own journey, or you want an idea about what you're signing up for, nino's chronicle of his Newbie Assignment is the place to start.

Newbie Assignment

If you're brand new to pickup and seduction, you're probably both excited and terrified about what lies ahead. Excited at the prospect of all those beautiful women you're going to meet... and terrified at the prospect of actually having to walk up to them, as a complete stranger, and engage them in meaningful conversation.

To help you get going, we've put together the Newbie Assignment, a 14-day regimen of tasks to take you through the beginning stages of meeting new women to help you reach a base level of proficiency from which you can branch out and start learning to do more. These are, essentially, a barebones version of first couple of homework assignments in the Girls Chase eBook How to Make Girls Chase. You can complete these 14 days at any pace - e.g., over the course of a couple of weeks, over the course of a month, or even only 2 weekend days a week on Saturdays and Sundays, for instance.

If you want to get good as quickly as possible and start building up your skill set as soon as you can, however, target completing one day's tasks each day for the next 14 days.

That will have you training up a lot of your most basic skills and openers and get you into a pattern of going out and working on meeting women and dating from a skills perspective instead of a "let's just try whatever and see what happens" perspective like most men (who find little to no success).

If you'd like to be publicly accountable, head over to the Journals Board and start a topic there called "[Your Name]'s Newbie Assignment." You can update this topic every day you complete an assignment with the results of your outing and any other experiences or observations you think are relevant.

Here are the 14 days - make sure you complete these in order:

Day 1: Observation. Your first day's assignment is to go out and scout your area for places that have the kind of women you'd like to meet. Keep in mind that you're looking for places that have A) a decent amount of traffic and turnover, so that there are enough women there for you to approach any given time you go out, and B) are convenient for you to go to and get to so you'll have less mental resistance to overcome when you're starting out. Find at least four (4) different places you can go that have foot traffic from women you'd like to meet (e.g., NOT hired guns like waitresses, bartenders, or store clerks). You can do research online before you go out - e.g., find out where there's a large bookstore or nightclub near your home - but you MUST visit these places in person. These can be shopping malls, coffee shops, cafeterias, bars, nightclubs, or the street.

You can find a full list of places to meet women here: Where to Find an Amazing Woman: 20 Surprising Places

Day 2: Posture. Your assignment for Day 2 is to go back out to the places you found in Day 1 and both practice walking around with better, more confident posture, and to observe the posture of those around you on the street, in stores, in coffee shops, and other places. How straight are their backs? How confident are their walks? What impression do you get from the different people you see? Is your impression of someone walking down the street slouched over different from your impression of someone walking with his or her chest puffed out, back held straight, and head held high?

Next, improve your own posture: arch your back, lift your chest up (imagine there is a fish hook underneath your breastbone that is pulling your chest up and out), throw your shoulders back, and hold your head parallel to the ground. Do people react differently to you when you walk down the street with great posture? Do they step out of your way more, and do women cast more glances your way? Spend at least twenty (20) minutes walking about with improved posture and get a feel for the difference in how people react to you.

Day 3: Eye Contact. Your third day's assignment is to go visit the places you scouted out in Day 1 and make eye contact with everyone you can. Men, women, children, old people. If you're new to making eye contact, you'll find that this is harder than it sounds. Pay attention to how you feel making eye contact - does it feel awkward or uncomfortable? Do you feel growing social pressure as you hold eye contact with people? Watch your own reactions and those of the people whose eye contact you get and hold:

  • Breaking eye contact by moving eyes down: a sign of submission and meekness
  • Breaking eye contact by moving eyes to the side: a neutral eye contact break - neither submissive nor dismissive
  • Breaking eye contact by moving eyes up: a sign of dismissiveness and impoliteness

Make and hold eye contact with at least ten (10) different people. See how long you can hold eye contact with each person for; if it feels awkward and they're close to you, you can defuse the tension with a simple smile and head nod toward them, or by smiling and saying, "Hi." Once you reach ten (10) people made eye contact with, see if you can do more. Your primary objectives here will be getting familiar with the different ways people respond to your eye contact, and increasing your ability to handle social pressure from others (in this case, others who are returning your eye contact).

Day 4: "Hi." In Day 1, you found four (4) places you could go to meet new women. In Day 2, you took posture for a test drive and familiarized yourself with the differences in how you perceive others with good and poor posture and how they react to you once your posture is improved. In Day 3, you played around with eye contact and made yourself hold eye contact.

Now it's time for you to get out there and engage.

Today's assignment is for you to walk up to at least six (6) attractive women whom you do not already know and say "Hi." That's it, just "Hi." You don't have to say more than that, though you feel free to do so if you feel so inclined. The purpose of today's exercise though is just to get you out breaking the ice with new women.

You're not allowed to go home until you've said "Hi" to six (6) or more women, so make sure you do it (or you'll be sleeping on the street).

Day 5: "How's your day going?" In Day 5, you'll be taking things a bit farther with your ice breakers; today you'll be asking women how their days are going. You must approach six (6) women that you don't already know and say, "Hi. How's your day going?" You don't need to say anything further than that, unless you feel like it. You MUST ask six (6) new women whom you didn't previously know how their days are going, however (and they can't all be hired guns like store clerks or waitresses).

Day 6: "Half off" day. It's time for a break from the regimen - but that doesn't mean you get the day completely off! Approaches are still on the table today - but they can be any kinds of approaches you want. You're approaching girls today purely for the heck of it... strike up small talk with women in line, talk to the girl checking you out at the grocery store, chat up the girl waiting in line with you waiting for the bus or the train... you pick the approach. And you can do as many or as few as you like - but DO approach at least ONE (1) girl today.

If you want bonus points - or want to up your learning from today - go out with the express intention of getting rejected three (3) times. Say something ridiculous - ask a girl if she'd like to come home with you immediately after meeting her, or ask her if she thinks Oprah Winfrey is hot. Doesn't matter - just try to get her to blow you out. Why? What this does is it gets you used to rejection - and shows you that even with the hardest rejections, it isn't really all that hard after all.

Day 7: Genuine interest. Before today's exercise, read the following articles:


The direct or compliment opener may well be the most powerful form of opener out there... and while it probably feels intimidating at first, if you think of it as nothing more than paying a real, genuine compliment to a pretty girl (which is really all it is), it's not really all that huge of a deal.

What makes direct openers so great is that they communicate interest in and approval of a girl right away... no dancing around with her wondering what you're after. Which will make some women be polite but uninterested - they're flattered for the compliment, but you're not their type. And that's fine. Because the women we're interested in are the other women - and those women will be more than pleased to accept your compliment. In fact, you'll find them beaming - and far warmer and far more receptive to you than they would've been had you used something more innocuous.

Follow up your compliment with introducing yourself ("I'm Hank") and holding out your hand immediately, so she doesn't have to fish around for what to say, and after that you can decide if you want to tell her you simply had to pay her that compliment, and bid her adieu, or if you want to stick around a little longer and see if you can get a phone number or more.

Try this with four (4) women today.

Day 8: Sitting down approach. Your exercise today is going to be approaching girls who are sitting down, as discussed in this article: "Approaching Girls Sitting Down." Don't worry about the conversation side of things - all you'll be focused on this go-round is getting the approach in.

You've only got to do two (2) today - I know sometimes it's hard to find girls who are sitting down, and this one can be a bit more intimidating, so we're going to let you off a little easier. But you MUST do those two - whether you want to do two "Sudden Notice" approaches, or two "Sit and Open" approaches, or even one of each, is not important - the only important thing is getting these opens under your belt.

Extra credit: if you're up for a challenge, see if you can get each of these interactions to last 5 minutes before you either ask for a phone number or excuse yourself.

Day 9: On the move. Another specialty day, you're aiming squarely at talking to girls on mass transit today. That's planes, trains, and buses - wherever you find yourself with mass transit, this works. (If you're in a small town with NO mass transit options, you're off the hook for today - you get another half day off as in Day 6, but you MUST still approach at least one (1) new woman - and no getting off the hook if you have mass transit but just don't use it that much - today, you will be using it)

You'll be following the guidelines set forth in "Meeting Women on Buses, Trains, and Airplanes"; it's easiest striking up conversation while waiting to board, with nothing to do... striking up a new conversation on the bus or train (or airplane) is certainly doable, but it's a bit trickier. Ask her if she's going anywhere exciting, and get into a conversation that lasts for at least two (2) minutes - and hopefully more. You must do this with two (2) girls - and if you can't find them, or you miss some chances, you have no choice but to continue riding around the subway or the bus circuit until you've done your pair of approaches.

Day 10: "Are you single?" It's time for something a little more meaty. For Day 10, you'll be asking women if they're single. You can read the post on this here: "Are You Single? Why to Always Ask Girls This."

You must approach and ask at least four (4) women if they're single. You don't need to hang around and get into a conversation after they answer you; you can respond with, "Okay thanks; just curious," if you don't know what else to say. But make sure you ask four (4) women this.

This exercise helps get you familiar with talking to women about their dating and relationship lives right off the bat, so you aren't tiptoeing around your reasons for talking to them like many new guys do (women don't like it when guys do that, so we want to break you of that habit early on).

Day 11: Walk. We'll take a one day break from meeting new women to experiment with something else: your walk. If you remember back in Day 2, we covered posture and got you arching your back, puffing out your chest, and holding your head high. How's your posture been since then? If you're like most people, it's probably slipped back down to what it usually is. Time to give that posture a boost.

Today you're going to practice not only maintaining good posture, but walking strongly and confidently, too. There are a couple of different images you can get in your head to emulate:

  • Walking like a really powerful man
  • Walking like a male model
  • Walking like a cowboy

Any of these is fine, but make sure you pick one of them, and make sure your posture is good and your eye contact is strong. Now spend twenty (20) minutes walking around in the venues you selected during Day 1 or in some other high-traffic areas with lots of people and lots of attractive women, and test out your new walk. How do people respond to you? Make mental notes as you observe others' reactions to you, and make a record of it in your journal on the Journals Board or in your own personal notepad.

For more on walk, see this article on the main site: "How to Have a Sexy Walk That Drives Women Nuts."

Day 12: Indirect direct. It's time you learned to tell girls you like them. No beating around the bush here - you're not going to be comfortable around women until you're used to laying it all out on the table without a second thought, period. And the way you get used to that is by doing it.

Day 12's exercise builds on the the previous assignments and gives you some choices. The assignment is to open four (4) women using the openers you've previously tried out, and to follow your opener up by saying, "I thought you were cute and wanted to come meet you. I'm [name]."

So:

  • If you're using "Hi, how's your day going?" you'll be saying this: "Hi, how's your day going? [pause and wait for her response] I thought you were cute and wanted to come meet you. I'm [your name]."

    or

  • If you're using "Are you single?" you'll be saying this: "Are you single? [pause and wait for her response] I thought you were cute and wanted to come meet you. I'm [your name]."

Important: you're getting into somewhat longer dialogues now, and you're probably going to be a little bit nervous. It's very important that you speak s-l-o-w-l-y. When you're nervous, you speak faster, and it sounds rushed and makes the girl feel nervous too. You can prevent a lot of this by simply making yourself speak more slowly. Speak slower, and you'll be more confident, and she'll feel more relaxed around you and less rushed / nervous.

If you're not sure what to say after you tell her you thought she was cute, you can always just say, "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that. It was great to meet you!" and exit the conversation. You'll have complimented her and put a smile on her face for the rest of the day, and you'll have gotten yourself more comfortable with approaching new women and telling them you think they're cute. Once you've approached four (4) women this way, you're done for the day, unless you decide to do more.

Day 13: Building the early banter. Most women are used to guys hitting on them, but most guys turn women off by kissing up to them and being too nice. You don't want to be like one of those guys, which means you need to get into some playful, flirtatious banter with women, and challenge them a bit. This is the part of a seduction that's known as "repartee."

In Day 13, you'll be opening four (4) women and telling them you thought they were cute and introducing yourself, same as in Day 12, except this time you won't exit the conversation after introducing yourself. This time, you'll be flirting with the girls you meet and engaging them in some playful banter.

Make sure you read this article on teasing correctly: "Teasing a Girl the Right Way." That will give you some basis for how to structure your teasing. The main gist of it: you want to tease girls, but you don't want to be mean and insult them.

Here an example of something you might tease a girl on playfully:

  • You: "Are you single?"

    Her: "Yes... Why do you ask?"

    You: "I thought you were cute and wanted to come meet you. I'm Steve."

    Her: "Oh... thank you. I'm Sophie."

    You: "Hi Sophie. So how's your day going so far?"

    Her: "It's going okay. I'm just out doing some shopping."

    You: "I can see that. That's a lot of shopping bags. I hope you left something in the stores for the other shoppers."

Here's another example of teasing:

  • You: "Hi, how's your day going?"

    Her: "Oh - it's okay."

    You: "I thought you were cute and wanted to come meet you. I'm Steve."

    Her: "Oh... thank you. I'm Sophie."

    You: "Hi Sophie. So what are you up to?"

    Her: "Just relaxing and having a coffee."

    You: "Ah yeah. That's a nice scarf."

    Her: "Thanks."

    You: "It seems a little early in the year to be wearing a scarf actually... maybe you know something I don't about today's weather report, though."

You might find that your first attempts at repartee aren't very funny, or are overly challenging or a little insulting, or fall flat. That's okay. The important part is getting familiar with the process of getting into some light banter. As you do this more, you'll get better at it. You'll also start seeing patterns, and develop your own preset banter lines that you use in different situations after opening.

Note: as you'll discover once you start getting more experience with opening and getting into repartee and rapport with women, you don't want to overdo banter. Typically, only a few lines of banter is enough. More than that, and you risk becoming the joker - a rather annoying guy who's only there to crack jokes around women and never moves things forward. Normally once you deliver a line or two of banter, you'll begin moving into rapport. Think of banter as "light" and rapport as "serious;" you're essentially using the "light" side of things to prevent them from getting too serious, but you need serious to get girls (women are seduced by attractive, serious men, not by jokey "light" men). So the actual process is something like:

  • serious --> light --> serious --> serious --> light --> serious --> serious --> serious --> light --> light --> serious --> serious --> serious, etc.

Once you've made some light banter, if you don't know what else to say you can excuse yourself with, "Anyway, it was great meeting you," and then exiting the conversation. Make sure you get to banter with four (4) new women, and you can call it a day. Write down your experiences, what you said, how the women you met reacted, and what you think you could've said instead that would've made things go better and more smoothly. By writing down your thoughts like this, you're preparing yourself to be better equipped the next time you meet new women.

Day 14: Ask for a phone number. Before beginning Day 14's assignment, read "How to Get a Phone Number from a Girl Every Time You Ask." Normally you'll be waiting until you're deeper in rapport to grab a phone number, but the important thing for now is that you get comfortable asking the right way.

For now, we'll use some combination of the natural number close and the two minute number close to get you asking for women's phone numbers. You'll ask a total of four (4) women for their phone numbers on Day 14 (unless you want to ask more).

So - you're going to open, compliment, introduce yourself, and get into some light banter, as you did in Day 13, and now, after you've bantered a bit, you're going to follow up with, "Anyway, I can't stay long and I do have to run, but I'd like to grab some food or a drink with you sometime. Would you like to do that with me?"

If she says "yes," you'll take her phone number. If she says "no," that's okay - you'll keep meeting new women until you've asked four (4) new women for their phone numbers.

If you want an additional challenge for Day 14, instead of making the goal "ask four (4) women for their phone numbers," you can make your goal, "GET four (4) phone numbers from new women" (although for some guys asking four women is going to be daunting enough in its own right, so choose according to where you're at and how confident / excited about this exercise you are).

The day's done once you're at four women asked (or four phone numbers taken). As usual, you're always free to do more, of course.

Day 15 and Beyond: Where you go from here. Once you've completed these 14 days of the Newbie Assignment, congratulations - you've just done something that probably most or all of your friends and most of the other men you will meet for the rest of your life will never muster up the courage to do. And, you've now got the basic foundations of a new skill set - a skill set for meeting and succeeding with the women you want.

So what's next? You've got plenty more to learn - and that's a really good thing. The direction you take your skills with women is completely open to you. I'd suggest getting good at finding a high quality girlfriend first - once you're able to do this, you'll feel confident doing anything else, because you'll never worry about being "alone" again. But you could develop yourself as a master pickup artist, meeting women anytime, anyplace, anywhere; or you could develop yourself as the center of a carefully developed social circle of only the coolest men and most beautiful women. Learning seduction is a "choose your own adventure"-style undertaking - except the adventure occurs in real life, and in your life, instead.

To your success,

Chase Amante

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Special thanks to our Board members who helped to make this assignment even better - the thread for suggestions is here: Hey Fellas: What Do We Need to Add to the Newbie Assignment?.
 
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