- Joined
- Nov 4, 2021
- Messages
- 6
Follow up from my previous post. I decided to go to a concert/nightclub on saturday. Originally, I was supposed to meet up with a friend there but he ended up flaking so I was solo. I took two shots before arriving at 10:30 and reminded myself that the goal was to pace my drinking and approach/talk to 4 new people.
So I get there at around 10:30 and the place is fucking dead. There’s two stages and a bar area and there’s about 20 people total at all 3 areas. Immediately I feel awkward and decide to order myself a drink and start downing that shit. I go to the bar area dance floor and just start vibing a bit to the music while scoping out the environment. There’s about 4-5 people dancing by themselves and then 2-3 couples dancing. There was a cute shorter girl dancing by herself behind me but my anxiety got the best of me because I kept thinking “if I go up to her right now everyone will notice me because there’s no one really here”. Eventually she ends up leaving the area.
After about an hour I go make my way to the “main stage” area and see a guy there by himself. So I immediately go over and start talking with him. He’s chill and grabs my number. Eventually I say fuck this and decide to walk over to a bar that’s about 15 minutes away. I get inside and take a seat down next to a guy and some chicks. Immediately we get to talking and he’s chill. I tell him I’m out by myself and we just talk very generally. Maybe in hindsight I should have introduced myself to some of his friends. Eventually, there was a group of 4 chicks who were dancing at the “dance floor” area of the bar, and I walk up to approach them but even in my pretty drunk state I can’t get over that sinking feeling of anxiety I get once I go to approach a girl. So I chickened out and decided to go back to the club from before.
I get back to the original club around 12 am and it’s definitely more busy so I feel less self-conscious about being by myself. After dancing for a bit and listening to the music, I spot a cute chick dancing by herself. I man up and walk over to her on the dance floor and essentially just say “I like your backpack”, she mutters a “thanks” and then leaves the dance floor area. For a couple seconds I felt kind of embarrassed/awkward that I was rejected, but then I got over it shortly.
Fast forward an hour or so later. At this point I’m pretty freaking drunk and there’s a girl dancing by herself near me. I go up and tell her something (I honestly have no idea what I said), and she takes out her ear protection from her ear and says “what”, with a smirk on her face, and I repeat it again but she still can’t understand me. At this point I pretty much just wave her off and continue dancing.
All in all, it was an okay night. My original goal of pacing my drinking didn’t happen in large part because of that feeling of “awkwardness” I get when being alone in a place that doesn’t have a lot of people dancing or doing things. To be honest, I’m just confounded about what to do. On one hand, I’ve been implementing this routine of not jerking off, working out, meditating, journaling etc and going out 1-2 times per week for about 180 days now, with the goal of having sex with someone who I seriously consider to be attractive. And yet, I‘m still missing something. I’ve maybe only gotten 4-5 girls numbers through night gaming primarily by myself at night clubs. Therefore, does anyone have any specific suggestions as to what I can do to get laid sooner? For example, should I focus on approaching x number of women throughout the week? Or should I start going to the bars/clubs with another person? Or should I just skip nightclubs in general and instead maybe focus on going to the bars? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, thanks!
So I get there at around 10:30 and the place is fucking dead. There’s two stages and a bar area and there’s about 20 people total at all 3 areas. Immediately I feel awkward and decide to order myself a drink and start downing that shit. I go to the bar area dance floor and just start vibing a bit to the music while scoping out the environment. There’s about 4-5 people dancing by themselves and then 2-3 couples dancing. There was a cute shorter girl dancing by herself behind me but my anxiety got the best of me because I kept thinking “if I go up to her right now everyone will notice me because there’s no one really here”. Eventually she ends up leaving the area.
After about an hour I go make my way to the “main stage” area and see a guy there by himself. So I immediately go over and start talking with him. He’s chill and grabs my number. Eventually I say fuck this and decide to walk over to a bar that’s about 15 minutes away. I get inside and take a seat down next to a guy and some chicks. Immediately we get to talking and he’s chill. I tell him I’m out by myself and we just talk very generally. Maybe in hindsight I should have introduced myself to some of his friends. Eventually, there was a group of 4 chicks who were dancing at the “dance floor” area of the bar, and I walk up to approach them but even in my pretty drunk state I can’t get over that sinking feeling of anxiety I get once I go to approach a girl. So I chickened out and decided to go back to the club from before.
I get back to the original club around 12 am and it’s definitely more busy so I feel less self-conscious about being by myself. After dancing for a bit and listening to the music, I spot a cute chick dancing by herself. I man up and walk over to her on the dance floor and essentially just say “I like your backpack”, she mutters a “thanks” and then leaves the dance floor area. For a couple seconds I felt kind of embarrassed/awkward that I was rejected, but then I got over it shortly.
Fast forward an hour or so later. At this point I’m pretty freaking drunk and there’s a girl dancing by herself near me. I go up and tell her something (I honestly have no idea what I said), and she takes out her ear protection from her ear and says “what”, with a smirk on her face, and I repeat it again but she still can’t understand me. At this point I pretty much just wave her off and continue dancing.
All in all, it was an okay night. My original goal of pacing my drinking didn’t happen in large part because of that feeling of “awkwardness” I get when being alone in a place that doesn’t have a lot of people dancing or doing things. To be honest, I’m just confounded about what to do. On one hand, I’ve been implementing this routine of not jerking off, working out, meditating, journaling etc and going out 1-2 times per week for about 180 days now, with the goal of having sex with someone who I seriously consider to be attractive. And yet, I‘m still missing something. I’ve maybe only gotten 4-5 girls numbers through night gaming primarily by myself at night clubs. Therefore, does anyone have any specific suggestions as to what I can do to get laid sooner? For example, should I focus on approaching x number of women throughout the week? Or should I start going to the bars/clubs with another person? Or should I just skip nightclubs in general and instead maybe focus on going to the bars? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, thanks!
