Had a date on a weekday last week in a town that was about a 40 minute drive from me. Did my usual preparation and then left my place around 7. We met at a restaurant that was close to hers and got a couple of drinks. We talked and ate for about an hour without me doing any escalation. I always find it super hard to escalate on dinner dates because I always find myself sitting right across from my date and I think it would look awkward if I had tried to get closer. After eating I said let’s go and as we walked out the door, I told her that we should grab another drink somewhere. She seemed somewhat apprehensive but agreed and we walked to a place that was about 15 minutes from her. During the walk there was pretty much no “incidental” touching and it was pretty cordial. Again I felt like it was hard to escalate. We get to the bar and I have a good buzz going and we decide to share a drink at the said bar.
During this time, I’m keeping the convo going and touching her slightly as we share music suggestions and talk about life. She goes to the bathroom after about 20 minutes of us talking, and so I use this as an opportunity to talk to this girl that was ordering a drink next to me at the bar. I asked her my standard opener of “what drink did you get”, to which she either didn’t hear me or totally ignored me because she didn’t reply. I shrug it off and laugh and honestly if she rejected me it didn’t hurt at all. Another group of women came up next to me while my date was in the bathroom so I asked them the same thing and they opened very warmly, but my date came back to sit next to me so I stopped the convo. About halfway through the drink we were sharing we both noted how we couldn’t really taste the alcohol, so I suggested we get a couple more drinks to pour into it. At this point she said this was going to be her last drink and I agreed with her.
So we finished the last drink and I asked her how far her place was from here, to which she said it’s far. I said I wanted to walk her back and so I did. We had a little bit more incidental touching on the walk back but nothing serious. We’re almost to her place now and it was about a 20 minute walk back to the downtown area and I really had to use the bathroom, so I asked if I could just go use her restroom quickly and she agreed. I used the restroom and walked out and she was sitting on the couch and I said okay I’m just going to order an uber back because it’s kind of a far walk. She then said something along the lines of how comfy the couch next to her was and so I took that as a cue to sit down because she didn’t seem uncomfortable having me there. I’m not sure if it was me or her who brought it up but we then started to talk about movies we’ve seen, and I believe she said she would watch one of the recommendations I gave her another time.
At this point, one of her roommates came down from upstairs and sat down with us so I introduced myself but the whole interaction with her was super awkward, as I felt like it was cue for me to leave… And because of this, I asked my date to walk me out and I said goodbye and kissed her on the cheek and walked into the night.
It was still early and I was planning on spending the night at a friend's house who lived nearby so I decided to check out the nightlife downtown. I walk over to a nightclub I've been to before and the line is at least 100 hundred people so I decide to go to a different bar/club playing music across the street. At this venue, there was a small line to get in and in order to keep myself in a somewhat social mood, I decided to talk to the two guys behind me. They were older (probably in their 30’s) and also visiting so we talked for about 10 minutes before we made it inside.
The venue was packed for a weekday night and I saw a lot of opportunities. I go up to the bar and start talking to two different guys and they seem pretty cool so I get one of them a shot and talk to them a little bit more. After speaking with them I decided to walk around the venue to check it out and I honestly felt intimidated because there were a lot of good looking guys there talking to chicks and I felt really out of place being by myself. I make my way around the venue and start trying to vibe to the music but it’s hard not to feel self conscious about being by myself. I eventually walk around and tell a guy talking to two chicks that I like his jacket in order to keep my mood up and potentially get introduced to the chicks he’s talking to, but he just says thanks and the two chicks kind of just look at me like I’m completely out of place, so I decided to bounce to a different part of the venue after that. I stay there for probably another 20 minutes not talking to anyone and then I decide to head to the club across the street where the line has slowed down. It’s about 1:15 at this point and it’s getting close to closing time so I head over there and make my way inside by 1:30. The place is absolutely packed and there’s tons of women, but I just can’t get the courage to walk up to them and start a conversation. The evening eventually ends at 2 and I walk back to the place I’m staying and spend the night there.
I go out a lot at night by myself because I find it hard to rally up my friends to come out with me and approach, so I often get that self conscious feeling that I look out of place being by myself and thus I don’t do many if any approaches. This next weekend I’m planning on going out with my buddy and i'm trying to decide whether or not my "goal" for the night will be to approach 10 women (meaning exchange names) or if the goal will be to get at least one number. I've tried the goal of talking to 10 women before, and it never seemed to go anywhere so I'm more inclined to try the goal of getting one number. I think by pushing myself to get at least one number, it will help me in a sense "plow" through sets and force me to continue to talk to someone even after I said my opener.
During this time, I’m keeping the convo going and touching her slightly as we share music suggestions and talk about life. She goes to the bathroom after about 20 minutes of us talking, and so I use this as an opportunity to talk to this girl that was ordering a drink next to me at the bar. I asked her my standard opener of “what drink did you get”, to which she either didn’t hear me or totally ignored me because she didn’t reply. I shrug it off and laugh and honestly if she rejected me it didn’t hurt at all. Another group of women came up next to me while my date was in the bathroom so I asked them the same thing and they opened very warmly, but my date came back to sit next to me so I stopped the convo. About halfway through the drink we were sharing we both noted how we couldn’t really taste the alcohol, so I suggested we get a couple more drinks to pour into it. At this point she said this was going to be her last drink and I agreed with her.
So we finished the last drink and I asked her how far her place was from here, to which she said it’s far. I said I wanted to walk her back and so I did. We had a little bit more incidental touching on the walk back but nothing serious. We’re almost to her place now and it was about a 20 minute walk back to the downtown area and I really had to use the bathroom, so I asked if I could just go use her restroom quickly and she agreed. I used the restroom and walked out and she was sitting on the couch and I said okay I’m just going to order an uber back because it’s kind of a far walk. She then said something along the lines of how comfy the couch next to her was and so I took that as a cue to sit down because she didn’t seem uncomfortable having me there. I’m not sure if it was me or her who brought it up but we then started to talk about movies we’ve seen, and I believe she said she would watch one of the recommendations I gave her another time.
At this point, one of her roommates came down from upstairs and sat down with us so I introduced myself but the whole interaction with her was super awkward, as I felt like it was cue for me to leave… And because of this, I asked my date to walk me out and I said goodbye and kissed her on the cheek and walked into the night.
It was still early and I was planning on spending the night at a friend's house who lived nearby so I decided to check out the nightlife downtown. I walk over to a nightclub I've been to before and the line is at least 100 hundred people so I decide to go to a different bar/club playing music across the street. At this venue, there was a small line to get in and in order to keep myself in a somewhat social mood, I decided to talk to the two guys behind me. They were older (probably in their 30’s) and also visiting so we talked for about 10 minutes before we made it inside.
The venue was packed for a weekday night and I saw a lot of opportunities. I go up to the bar and start talking to two different guys and they seem pretty cool so I get one of them a shot and talk to them a little bit more. After speaking with them I decided to walk around the venue to check it out and I honestly felt intimidated because there were a lot of good looking guys there talking to chicks and I felt really out of place being by myself. I make my way around the venue and start trying to vibe to the music but it’s hard not to feel self conscious about being by myself. I eventually walk around and tell a guy talking to two chicks that I like his jacket in order to keep my mood up and potentially get introduced to the chicks he’s talking to, but he just says thanks and the two chicks kind of just look at me like I’m completely out of place, so I decided to bounce to a different part of the venue after that. I stay there for probably another 20 minutes not talking to anyone and then I decide to head to the club across the street where the line has slowed down. It’s about 1:15 at this point and it’s getting close to closing time so I head over there and make my way inside by 1:30. The place is absolutely packed and there’s tons of women, but I just can’t get the courage to walk up to them and start a conversation. The evening eventually ends at 2 and I walk back to the place I’m staying and spend the night there.
I go out a lot at night by myself because I find it hard to rally up my friends to come out with me and approach, so I often get that self conscious feeling that I look out of place being by myself and thus I don’t do many if any approaches. This next weekend I’m planning on going out with my buddy and i'm trying to decide whether or not my "goal" for the night will be to approach 10 women (meaning exchange names) or if the goal will be to get at least one number. I've tried the goal of talking to 10 women before, and it never seemed to go anywhere so I'm more inclined to try the goal of getting one number. I think by pushing myself to get at least one number, it will help me in a sense "plow" through sets and force me to continue to talk to someone even after I said my opener.
