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Nightclub phobia (my skills, confidence etc. vanish when I enter) Help.

Rookie

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 7, 2014
Messages
57
Hey. If anyone has been following my posts they would know that I'm making great progress. In college/university there are flat parties and I am acing them. I've just recently pulled a girl from a flat party. Even in the day, I've been approached by girls, or have girls hover in my vicinity waiting for me to say hi. In other words things have been going well. BUT

When I step into a nightclub. EVERYTHING vanishes. All my confidence in myself, my confidence in my fundamentals, my confidence in my past experiences and process just disappear. I lose it. I don't know why. At a flat party, approaching is easy for me; very easy. But on the dance floor of a club, or at the bar of the club; it's like trying to do a quadruple back flip while juggling knives and being blindfolded.

My biggest problem is on the dance floor. Now I have read Chase's articles about dance floor game. And I know it's best to avoid it. However this is university. The majority of girls there are 18-20 (they literally are so easy to pick up compared to older girls in their mid-late twenties) so dance floor seduction is quite effective. But the situation I'm finding myself in is this:
Girl dancing in front of me,
Sometimes back turned away and sometimes not.
I'm close to her and just when I should approach her... I freeze.
So I end up standing on the dance floor looking like an idiot scanning the room while someone else ends up making out with that girl right in front of me... it's torture

So the questions that I really need the answer to are these:
How can I calm myself down in the night club? (That is the biggest problem I have right now. Has anyone else found nightclubs daunting? If so how did you overcome your fear of them?)
What is it about a club that can seem so terrifying? (again the minute I step into it, I feel helpless)
On the dance floor whats the best way to approach a girl dancing? (and that's all, because I know after the approach, you exchange namest, dance a bit more if you need to, then move her or if she's really into you, kiss her there and then (again my logistics are perfect for taking her home and their 18-20, they're very easy to take home) which is just what I do in flat parties. But for some reason approaching while dancing seems near impossible to me.

I would be extremely grateful for answers on this post. Because this aspect is destroying my game. It is my next biggest hurdle. I know I have the potential to pull from a night club consistently ( I don't mean to sound cocky, it's just that the competition is not very hard to beat, the majority of guys there are shit scared too. I just don't want to be that type of guy though, it's a very boring life.) . I understand the steps, the processes required. I understand what to do and how to do it. I know the theory. I've properly applied the theory to day game and flat parties. But the minute I enter the club, I just can't approach (because i'm just so terrified.) And it's a very frustrating walk back home alone.

Any advice much appreciated.

-Rookie
 

Knight Who Say NI

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 5, 2014
Messages
38
Rookie,

acing yourself in a nightclub would surely be a big accomplishment, but you should think if it would be worth it. Today I heard the story of a girl that, when she found out that she got AIDS, went on a party rage, fucking whatever guy she found, without condom.

You should be more careful when dealing with hardcore party girls. If you are already really good at day game and flat parties, why bother with them?
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,982
Why don't you set yourself an assignment: Tonight I'm going to introduce myself to 3 girls standing near the bar. Next time, tonight I'm going to introduce myself to 3 girls on the dancefloor. Etc. You can just eject after the introduction if it's not flowing although frankly in most cases an introduction is all you need, if she's into you and you've broken the ice by making thr first move you'll know about it pretty quickly.

I don't really think any fancy techniques are needed except (1) your goal of being social, providing value to everyone around you with your smiles, upbeat mood, demeanor and dancing, also yourvinclusiveness and willingness to be the glue eg. approaching anyone who looks lonely and drawing them into your group, (2) when it's time to move her, deep dive her or pull her, ie. after you are pretty comfortable together, then get out some game, same as flat parties. I've heard my technique referred to as "doing scattergun approaches all night" and that's it in a nutshell :)

cheers, Ray
 

Rookie

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 7, 2014
Messages
57
Thanks Ray for the advice. I think that's the best thing for me to do, break down by problems into tiny manageable bits. So like you set, I'll set myself a goal of introducing myself on the dance floor to 3 new girls. Just out of curiosity. Do you know a smooth way to introduce yourself to a girl whose dancing or in her group of friends dancing?

Thanks Rookie
 

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,982
Wait for a break in the music and then pre open from the side treating it much as you would in daygame but keeping it short and snappy. If she is in a group (ie. almost always) this should not be an issue since it won't be a particularly tight knit group (they can't converse so for smaller groups like 3 girls they'll just be around in each other's general vicinity). If its a tight circle then maybe leave till later cos u don't want to approach from behind. Also if she is already aware of you being around (smiles, eye contact, dancing in her line of vision etc) this will also help to pre open her.
Ray
PS Cannot stress enough to go out with intention of meeting ppl and partying rather than pulling specifically. Girls on the dancefloor are in party mode, want to tap into this vibe rather than kill it by trying to move them too early etc.
 
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