No contact/texting leading up to date?

[Anonymous]

[I did attempt to search for this, but the board returned an error because the terms were deemed too common to list results...]

I've read all the articles about texting and texting to get dates, but I'm uncertain about exactly how much contact (via text) to make after setting up the encounter, especially when it's scheduled nearly a week away.

I was brief, concise and properly led this girl, though I feel odd not texting or talking to her until I see her. Are these feelings merely an internal struggle between what I'm used to (mistakenly) doing, or am I missing something? No contact seems odd, but perhaps it's building suspense and tension.

I realize times have changed since the 'How To Text' and related articles were written, and the new How To Text eBook slightly differs - but in this scenario there wasn't really a previous conversation to resume, as she cancelled due to work and I shrugged it off because it was no big deal, which made her (at least seem) to go even crazier about me and rescheduled promptly.

After we set the plan to meet up, we exchanged maybe one or two more texts, then I left it alone. The "conversation" had seemed to run it's course and ended naturally, but since there are several days in between, I find myself wondering if no contact is the best contact.

So, gentlemen... am I skipping an important interaction leading up to the meet up, or is this simply just the "old me" screaming as he withers away?

 

[Adam101]

Hey Rodimus, my short answer is you should text her. My reasoning is that until you create a strong connection and bed a woman, you do have to be active in making sure you stay on her mind. Otherwise the positive memories of you fade, and therefore have less power and sway, which leads to your date becoming a less important part of her busy life to the point where she feels she can blow it off for other obligations.

A year ago long before I discovered Girls Chase I met a very cute redhead in one of my classes. By the time I got her number and managed to ask for a date, she said yes but our holiday schedules left 2/3 weeks time before we could meet. My attitude was "I'm gonna play it cool and not be needy. I'm just gonna let her have fun on her vacation and just text her after the New Year when we both get back. After all she's cool and said yes, so we're on!" You can probably guess the outcome; tried to get in touch, radio silence. Because I didn't maintain that connection I went from being this cool, funny, smart guy in class to just some unimportant guy who suddenly got needy.

That being said, you also don't want to open her directly asking, or even alluding to your meet up. I've made this mistake too. I'd get a girl's number, and in the spirit of moving fast I would go straight for trying to meet up. I would let days pass and I was getting completely blown off. But more often than not if I re-opened these girls with a conversational topic they'd reply.

With those experiences in mind I would advise using the "I had this crazy encounter or saw this thing that made me think of you." format when you text her. This way you show she's important enough that you're interested and thinking about her, but your eventual date is not the best thing going on during your week. Assuming you get into a little back and forth then you can confirm your date. Although, I would make it a statement as opposed to a question. Example: "See you at three tomorrow." VS "See you at three tomorrow?"

I think a lot of us try to follow the rule "don't chase" so much that we forget to be persistent, which is sexy. Keeping it basic, assume you're still having your date and your text is just seeing what's up because she's an interesting new person you just met. Not texting at all though I believe sends a bad signal. Anyway, best of luck and hope it works out.

 

[Smith]

It depends. I usually don't text leading up to a date unless it's more than a week later. I have girls that went radio silent on me when I don't text her for a week, so I think one week of radiosilent is fine.

The reason I don't text girls leading up to a date is because it's easy to mess things up over text and your time is better spent on doing something more important or meeting other girls.