no texting?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys
Woodenring here,
I have something to ask you! I am dating someone for 2 months now. We are doing great when we are together, but when I go home, I don't hear ANYTHING of the person I am dating. It takes 4 to 5 days sometimes to hear her voice again. She told me she's in love with me, she loves me, she introduces me to her friends and we went out together and everything. We are officially together.. so you would think, what's the problem?

Well, the problem is that I feel like I turn cold if she doesn't talk to me for 4 days, is that weird? And I've told her 4 times now how I feel about is. She keeps saying : I only call you when I have something important to say. I think that nonsens because I can talk to her everyday, just joke around on the phone, having phonesex or just be cute and tell her how much I missed her voice etc etc.

Still.. 4 times after I have told her, she doesn't change. It seems like she doesn't care about my feelings, otherwise she would make the effort of just calling me everyday 5 minutes right? (we NEVER text, I mean never ever, we only call 2 times a week and we meet in the weekends. The weekends are amazing but the week after it is just hell for me. And now I am turning cold about this girl, but I don't want to! I want this to work out because I really really like her.)

Why do you think she's doing this? And what should I tell here or do ? Because I am losing it.
Thank you already !

 

[Franco]

Woodenring,

Well, the problem is that I feel like I turn cold if she doesn't talk to me for 4 days, is that weird? And I've told her 4 times now how I feel about is. She keeps saying : I only call you when I have something important to say. I think that nonsens because I can talk to her everyday, just joke around on the phone, having phonesex or just be cute and tell her how much I missed her voice etc etc.

It sounds like you're being needy here, buddy. And eventually, your pestering is going to push her away. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the girl calling you twice a week. As a matter of fact, this sounds exactly like a role-reversal of my relationship: in my relationship, I never call or text my girl during the week, and she usually calls me once (and sometimes twice), although she gave me a bit of drama awhile back when she was worried that I did not want to talk to her all the time. Do you know what I told her? I told her this:

I only call you when I have something important to say.

...and then I proceeded to tell her that I don't like to waste our time talking about nonsense on the phone because I would rather save the bulk of our conversation time for in-person when I can actually see her, and that way we won't be bored when we're together.

Right now, you're looking for unnecessary validation from her. You need to find other things in your life to focus on when you're not spending time with this girl. As of right now, you're investing way too much of your time trying to convince her to invest more, which is eventually going to lead her to invest less (and risk her seeing you as weak/needy which will cause her to stop wanting to see you).

Don't worry about whether or not this girl cares about you while you're not together. If she's wanting to see you every week and you're giving her orgasmic sex and great conversation while you're together, then she's going to want to continue seeing you. Also, from the looks of it, this girl may not be your girlfriend yet, so any needy behavior is only going to have negative consequences. Work on keeping yourself busy with other things, and if you're still "single," I would say other girls as well!

- Franco