Non-Ego Reasons for Practicing PU?

[Lover]

Hey guys,

The longer I go into the journey of becoming my best self, I find myself having less space to do anything because my ego tells me to. Recently, I feel like I'm getting my priorities straightened out. I'm getting a better idea of what I really want with my life, and I do the things that truly matter to me for two overall reason: I just want to do them + there's space for significant changes. I introspect a lot of my default behaviors and assess whether changing them is helpful or not.

The tradeoff is that I find myself wanting to practice PU less and less. And maybe it's just temporary. But allow me to explain.

A month ago, I made a post in my journal with reasons to do the PU journey. Now that I read it again, and through a conversation with Kristian, I see that I have a lot of reasons to do PU. But I can't point out WHY these reasons make sense to me. Why does it matter to me that I want to acheive abundance? Why do I care about becoming a sexy lover? Or that I stop seeing myself as an inconvenience when I approach a stranger in the day?

I only know why I want abundance mentality: because I'd like a LTR and pick a partner from a place of knowing I have opportunities rather than NOT having opportunities. This is the only genuine desire I have deep down to do this journey. However, I feel like going through the hurdle for this desire alone is overkill. I genuninely feel that my time can be spent better by doing other things that improve my life overall rather than chasing something that is not even guaranteed 2 or 5 years into the relationship.

I can't make any sense for the rest of the reasons I wrote in my journal post, unless I let my ego talk for me. Then I make up stuff like "because it feels nice to have opportunities and attract women". But I don't want to meet and attract women as a way to satisfy my ego. Right now, I'm past that point and want to stay there.

I also wrote in my journal post that I will regret it if I didn't stick to this journey. But 1: I can't know that for certain, and 2: it seems very unlikely right here, right now. I have different priorities.

In the end, it all comes down to this: the journey of seducing women doesn't make sense to me right now. It doesn't serve any practical or higher purpose for me. I have no clue what I want with them, and why I want the benefits of meeting them. Meeting and banging women simply for the sake of doing that seems farfetched to me.

I have more introspection to do if I'm going to find out why it makes sense for me to meet women. In the meantime, I am hoping you guys would like to inspire 24-year old me. What makes you stay on this journey? What desires and wants do you have? Do you have a higher purpose?

Or could it be I should accept that women are simply not a priority right now, take a "break", and return when it seems more right?

Anything will help.

Ajay

 

[Seppuku]

Ajay,

To me, the main reason to doing seduction is to get better terms for myself in my relationships with women. You need to view this in terms of balance of power within the couple.

It makes sense. You have options, therefore you have the capability to walk away. Then you do not depend on her so much for your well being. Therefore you have much more negotiation power in your relationship.

Also be aware that girls innately do the same: they maintain a cloud of guys at arms length the whole time. It makes them feel good. It helps with their fears and insecurities. And keeping options allow them to hold power on their AFC boyfriend.

So, seduction is a way to restore the balance in the relationship, since it puts you on an equal footing with her.

It's my view. And non Ego based.

What do you think?
Seppuku
PS. Another reason is that by staying "in the game" you keep yourself attractive to her for a longer time - in the alpha state.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Every reason for existence is ego-based, let alone picking up women.

"I like wet pussy and I like spending time with sweet, loving women" is just as enlightened as any perspective you can muster.

In other words, if everything is bullshit, simply pick your favorite flavor.

Hector

 

[readjusting]

The beautiful girls have good genes.
I have crap genes.

The beautiful girls are proof that I have overcome the genetic odds.
And be the top 1%.

 

[Lover]

Hi guys, thank you for your answers! When I look at this thread again, I realize that I have never taken the time to write down my genuine wants for future hookups and relationships for good. In another thread last year, I already knew I had to make plans and goals for my future. But for whatever excuses, I forgot about it. Maybe this thread is the first step towards realizing my genuine desires in my sex/love life and going for them.

Ajay,

To me, the main reason to doing seduction is to get better terms for myself in my relationships with women. You need to view this in terms of balance of power within the couple.

It makes sense. You have options, therefore you have the capability to walk away. Then you do not depend on her so much for your well being. Therefore you have much more negotiation power in your relationship.

Also be aware that girls innately do the same: they maintain a cloud of guys at arms length the whole time. It makes them feel good. It helps with their fears and insecurities. And keeping options allow them to hold power on their AFC boyfriend.

So, seduction is a way to restore the balance in the relationship, since it puts you on an equal footing with her.

It's my view. And non Ego based.

What do you think?
Seppuku
PS. Another reason is that by staying "in the game" you keep yourself attractive to her for a longer time - in the alpha state.

Hi Seppuku. You pretty much described my own thoughts. I felt I had negotiation power with the handful of girls I slept with last year, but lacked the guts to walk away (or tell one of them she crossed a line) when I really wanted to. If I told you right here and right now that I can walk away from a woman that caused drama or didn't provide me what I wanted, I'd most likely be lying.

I'm not sure if this desire to have abundance of women comes from fear, insecurity, and/or a genuine want. But I know that the idea of a mundane relationship - that is rarely, if never, on my terms - sounds horrible. If that is the kind of relationship I can expect with no further improvement, I'd prefer one where I can have the things I want my way, and being able to walk if necessary. The horror that a woman can bring into your life if you let her walk all over you when you think you have no other options, sounds not appealing.

I feel like it comes down to what is the most attractive option to me, and go for it. The latter is hard for me if I don’t know why I’m doing it or want it in the first place.

Every reason for existence is ego-based, let alone picking up women.

"I like wet pussy and I like spending time with sweet, loving women" is just as enlightened as any perspective you can muster.

In other words, if everything is bullshit, simply pick your favorite flavor.

Hector

Hi Hector. To me, that was one hell of a perspective you just put on the table.
If what you say is true, then that says one thing about me: I'm trying to justify that I make decisions from a non-ego standpoint when, in fact, I'm not. That might be right. It does seem like I find thinking with ego as a bad/insecure thing and not as a good/real thing when it might be two sides of the same coin.

I guess that in the end, we can only pick whatever reasons that are real/right to us at any given time, ego or not.

Food for thought to my future progress.

Ajay

 

[Seppuku]

The horror that a woman can bring into your life if you let her walk all over you when you think you have no other options, sounds not appealing.

Yep. And that is the reality of most men's marriages and LTR. It gets further complicated when you have kids and mortgages in the picture.

I still have to discover for myself what's the secret of a happy LTR - if there is such thing. I definitely did it wrong in my pre-seduction years, for lack of understanding of relationships dynamics and women's psyche. And I haven't been in seduction long enough to claim I know the answer to this for sure. The longest I've been with a girl, as a seducer, is one year so far, and counting.

But one thing I know is that you will be much happier and better off if *you're not afraid to lose her* - ready to walk away at any time if need be. It doesn't mean that you start firing your girls. Just being ready to walk away if need be - and making sure she's aware of it, through indirect means - that will do a great deal to turn the power dynamics in your favor.

Keeping the abundance even after you got in a relationship is key to achieve this.

I felt I had negotiation power with the handful of girls I slept with last year, but lacked the guts to walk away (or tell one of them she crossed a line) when I really wanted to.

It means you don't have yet the degree of abundance that you need. Once you get the confidence that you can get a new girl, say, within a week or two, if you really apply yourself, you will be in a much better place. Keeping a number of side girls is also helpful. If I were you, I would avoid getting into a serious LTR for now, you're probably not yet ready for that.

And again, there should be no shame doing this. Girls do keep all of their options open at all time. They maintain a reserve of dicks they can dig into in case of emergency - the orbiters. And they always can walk into a bar in miniskirt and heels in last resort. LOL. No reasons we wouldn't do the same.

Seppuku

 

[Lover]

Just being ready to walk away if need be - and making sure she's aware of it, through indirect means - that will do a great deal to turn the power dynamics in your favor.

Seppuku. This request will be slightly off-topic, but I'd like to know what these indirect means look like (or what they have looked in your or anybody else's seduction journey). If they are covered in an article, that'd be fine as well.

If I were you, I would avoid getting into a serious LTR for now, you're probably not yet ready for that.

Agree. I'll make a game plan soon for what I can do right now to get better with girls.

Ajay

 

[Sandman]

I am not Seppuku of course and I hope he answer this as well but for me keeping your frame at all times is the best way to show it. I did these in both of my ltrs which were the kind of ltrs where you feel fucking happy and like a king at the same time.

Let's say you get into a fight she says "then maybe we shouldn't be together!" You say, we shouldn't. There's the door. And you mean it. If you are ready to walk away, you naturally show it through your actions.

Another thing is showing her you've got options . You don't have to anything overt from this. Just keep your fundementals (including vibe) in check and she'll see other girls checking you out, her friends will comment how "sexy" you are etc.

Just my 2 cents

 

[Seppuku]

Yep, mrre is right on. Keep your frame, and let her know you have options. And all the corollaries of having options, such as non neediness, being busy, not answering all texts messages, waiting for her to text first, etc... You are invested 50% less than she is.

Also, you need to be aware of her frame, and her attempts to frame you into the (subservient) boyfriend role - in fact, in a position lower than hers, i.e she's the queen and you serve her. This, you need to deflect, and reverse.

Example. I picked my girlfriend in the airport, and she insisted I carry her luggage for her. "I'm the older man, and you're the young woman, so you carry it". When she started the micro-drama mode, I walked away. She followed, with her luggage. What a douchebag I was, hahaha. But no way I would bend into the good subservient knight frame that she insisted on me.

Example 2. When she got a little too much into the Disney Love Love Forever mode, I felt I had to tell her: "But you know, once in a while I bring a woman home and I fuck her!" To which she answered "I know!" and mentioned that she saw my reserves of condom boxes (actually not bad tool for subtle preselection!) - I got zero drama, because she already knew.

In fact, that's also one of the very good things of fast seduction. Within a couple of hours of meeting her ever, she's in your living room with no clothes on. She knows you have it easy with girls. She knows you're good. She knows you have options. Power dynamics in your favor. Later she tries to bend the frame to her advantage (you're in BF mode and need to serve her feminine imperative), but that's where you detect and deflect the frame.

Cheers,
Seppuku