Not often am I confused as fuck but....

[Regal Tiger]

So, girl back in 2014. We hooked up but didn't have sex, though I should have (if I remember right I was in a hurry for something). No skill back in the day and whatever, never saw each other again.

Fast forward to a few days ago and she adds me on Snapchat and we start talking. Added by phone number... weird but ok.

So she's in another state. And I remember that she has nice tits. So I bring the conversation back to our first date and gradually lead it into where it eventually went to. Asks me what else I remember so I tell her I remember coming back to my apartment and she replies "I always wondered why that never happened again". Sweet! Green light!

So then I go a little further and she busts out something outta left field on me:
Ok dude, I'm married and a month pregnant and something else. So I just kind of ejected with "I also remember getting my basketball shoes that day" aaaaaaand ignored the next message

Whaaaa.... okay.... my read was off. Whatever, no big deal. I still remember those glorious boobs of hers so I still got a 'snapshot' of sorts. Time to go on about my day.

She unfriends me on Snapchat and then hours later today follows me on Instagram and friends me on Facebook. Dafuq??
Immediately sends me message through IG: Didn't mean to ditch you but was using a shared ipad or something and didn't want man to see stuff about us.

I'm confused so just say it's fine and looking through her pictures she's lost some weight. Good for you I say (and I meant it, while she wasn't fat she was a little chubby and I know what it's like to be obese and genuinely try to say well done when someone else makes the lifestyle change. Even if it's just a little bit, takes a lot of work).

Through no prompting of my own she's asking me if I ever come back and visit the old state she still lives in but I don't.

Also I should mention a few things:
Going through her Facebook this guy and her must have gotten married EXTREMELY QUICKLY. I don't know how quick, but 1.5 years dating MAX.

Apparently they were gym buddies or this guy used to be a gym rat because he's a goddamned hulk now but looks kinda fat in his Facebook. Could be one of those fat but huge types? I dunno.

So how do I know he's huge if he looks fat in tagged pics with her in Facebook? A private account with her last name just started following me on Instagram.... the profile picture is not like what's on Facebook...


Soooooooooo with a case going on there's probably not gonna be a whole lot of anything going on here. I'm fine with that. If nothing else I've still got that memory of those beautiful mammaries.


But what in tarnation is going on around here? At first my mind went to 'oh cool, a freebie. I like freebies' to 'huh, musta been a misread on my part' to 'beta husband and she's feeling trapped' to 'bruh this is a setup. You gon die'

Lol anyway, that's my day. Any comments?

 

[Drck]

IMO more advanced guys here should start moving away from the teaching that girls are just cute, sweet and innocent sexy beings. They are but that is only one side of the story. The other side is, that there is way more going on in the background then we (average guys out there) want to believe.

Women get pregnant, yet they marry a guy who is not real father, many times the guy is clueless that the child is not his. He’s in love and he believes that she is in love as well. Which may or may not be true.

Women sleep behind their BF or Husbands backs, again, the guy is usually clueless. Maybe not every women actually DO it, but many are open to it should the right guy appear in their life.

Women like to keep guys in orbit, perhaps for the above reasons. It’s simply an escape road for them - should something happen in her current relationship, she can easily contact guy(s) she knows from the past and move on, sometimes literally within days. I know girls who were dating guy for 2-3 years, then they broke up... she contacted guy from the past - and got pregnant and married him within 5 weeks. Who’s the real father remains mystery, because in this short period of time she was able to date 4 other guys, not including her current hubby. Again, all average guy see is only a cute picture of happy family on FB. All certified by religious believe in Jesus...

I could go on and on, including how women behave behind their husband backs, but never mind, once you are around this stuff you will see yourself, just keep your eyes open...

So your story is actually very easy to understand, and it is not that unusual at all. In her eyes you are simply a cute guy with some (let’s hope high) value who she wants to keep around, just in case...

 

[Regal Tiger]

IMO more advanced guys here should start moving away from the teaching that girls are just cute, sweet and innocent sexy beings. They are but that is only one side of the story. The other side is, that there is way more going on in the background then we (average guys out there) want to believe.

Women get pregnant, yet they marry a guy who is not real father, many times the guy is clueless that the child is not his. He’s in love and he believes that she is in love as well. Which may or may not be true.

Women sleep behind their BF or Husbands backs, again, the guy is usually clueless. Maybe not every women actually DO it, but many are open to it should the right guy appear in their life.

Women like to keep guys in orbit, perhaps for the above reasons. It’s simply an escape road for them - should something happen in her current relationship, she can easily contact guy(s) she knows from the past and move on, sometimes literally within days. I know girls who were dating guy for 2-3 years, then they broke up... she contacted guy from the past - and got pregnant and married him within 5 weeks. Who’s the real father remains mystery, because in this short period of time she was able to date 4 other guys, not including her current hubby. Again, all average guy see is only a cute picture of happy family on FB. All certified by religious believe in Jesus...

I could go on and on, including how women behave behind their husband backs, but never mind, once you are around this stuff you will see yourself, just keep your eyes open...

Basically the reason why I don't do monogamy. Well, that and partners tend to get too used to each other after a while.

So your story is actually very easy to understand, and it is not that unusual at all. In her eyes you are simply a cute guy with some (let’s hope high) value who she wants to keep around, just in case...

Well, she's a photographer. Been a photographer for quite some time and I have double her followers on Instagram and have gotten fairly good at it. Though we're in different fields. Best I got when it comes to value that she would see in passing and decide to do something about it? I dunno

Anywhoo, she wanted me to take pictures of her "wanna change it up since I've worked with everyone else around here". But that's just an excuse

My concern is why did the husband follow me on the same god damned day? Did I just pop up on his little 'your wife liked this profile so you should like it to' list? That's scary to me, whether he's in on it or not

My dick ain't going anywhere near that unless it comes to me and he stays a state away. And even then... Got waaaaaayy too much shit on my plate to worry about more shit.


Since she's already pregnant, the only thing that I can possibly think of is that he cheated and now she wants to cheat back. Only explanation I can think of


EDIT: my real problem here isn't that I want to fuck her or even see her boobs again (obviously do but...) The real problem is that I'm so damn curious and wanna know lol. It's such a fun brain teaser

Sadly this wouldn't be the first time I've had a brain teaser lead me into trouble before either.... but I had to know why she was so familiar! Oh god that sense of relief when I finally remembered who that one was... totally worth that week of being sick

 

[lostnumber]

She is insecure and looking for validation. The cause of that insecurity and the lengths she will go to in order to satisfy it are unknown, but that's the root of it.

Ever come out of a social scenario feeling like shit, so you open up your phone and text everyone you know to set up plans for the rest of the week? Or maybe you got shot down by a hottie, so you message that girl that is into you and sorta-kinda-cute and you've been on the fence about her but right now it seems like a good idea? Yeah, I think we've all done that, or some permutation thereof. Thats what this chick is doing to you. Something has her feeling insecure and she is trying to get validation outside of her relationship

Like most social principles this is best illustrated by a story. I have a good friend who is happily married and just had his first kid. He has some psycho ex's who will message him sometimes to have a cry and tell him how much they miss him and how much they messed up by being psychos and driving him away. He engages with them, eventually his wife finds out and blows a lid, and I have to come in and tell him what an idiot he is being and smooth things over. Its frustrating, but he is a good friend with a lot of other good qualities, so I do it for him. Inevitably a few months later he will do it again and the cycle will start over. Why? Because he is a fundamentally insecure person and thats just how he is wired. He can't help it; the validation he gets from these girls is too aluring for him to shut it down, even though he knows he should.

In your case we don't know WHY she is reaching for validation based on the details you give. Is she fundamentally insecure like my friend? Is her husband a cheating piece of shit? Is being pregnant making her hormones go crazy and causing a mid-life crisis? No way to tell. We also dont know how far she'd be willing to go. Maybe she just wants you to say nice things about her tits because it makes her feel pretty, or maybe she'd go a lot farther than that.

I think your instincts are right to stay a mile away. Nothing good is going to come from this

 

[Regal Tiger]

She is insecure and looking for validation. The cause of that insecurity and the lengths she will go to in order to satisfy it are unknown, but that's the root of it.

Ever come out of a social scenario feeling like shit, so you open up your phone and text everyone you know to set up plans for the rest of the week? Or maybe you got shot down by a hottie, so you message that girl that is into you and sorta-kinda-cute and you've been on the fence about her but right now it seems like a good idea? Yeah, I think we've all done that, or some permutation thereof. Thats what this chick is doing to you. Something has her feeling insecure and she is trying to get validation outside of her relationship

Ya, I get that. Whenever I would start feeling low I would go onto Meetme and just start talking to hordes of people. Nothing ever came out of meetme (not sure I'd want it to) but I would get a nude here and there and I would feel a whole lot better lol.

Like most social principles this is best illustrated by a story. I have a good friend who is happily married and just had his first kid. He has some psycho ex's who will message him sometimes to have a cry and tell him how much they miss him and how much they messed up by being psychos and driving him away. He engages with them, eventually his wife finds out and blows a lid, and I have to come in and tell him what an idiot he is being and smooth things over. Its frustrating, but he is a good friend with a lot of other good qualities, so I do it for him. Inevitably a few months later he will do it again and the cycle will start over. Why? Because he is a fundamentally insecure person and thats just how he is wired. He can't help it; the validation he gets from these girls is too aluring for him to shut it down, even though he knows he should.

That's cool that you help him out!

But what I don't get is... why 3 years later lol?

In your case we don't know WHY she is reaching for validation based on the details you give. Is she fundamentally insecure like my friend? Is her husband a cheating piece of shit? Is being pregnant making her hormones go crazy and causing a mid-life crisis? No way to tell. We also dont know how far she'd be willing to go. Maybe she just wants you to say nice things about her tits because it makes her feel pretty, or maybe she'd go a lot farther than that.

That's the brain teaser! I like to know these kinda things, or at least think I know them.

I think your instincts are right to stay a mile away. Nothing good is going to come from this

Indeed