Hey guys, I'm excited to share my first post with everyone - it's a real game changer if it applies.
How do you generally "win" in social situations? The two biggest giveaways: facial expression and breathing. If someone comes up to you, say while you're out grocery shopping, and calls you some insult - how would submissiveness look to an outsider perceiving the interaction? This outsider would know if you "lost" due to your body language (if no other words were said): you wince, you start holding your breath, you look down, you grimace. This is unnecessary and neurotic. How would "domination" look? Walking away, with a peaceful resting facial expression, as if you didn't even hear the guy say anything. We're going to focus on the face for this post, on how to per-emptively stop the face from taking on abnormal amounts of tension during provocation.
First we answer the question: why do some of us wince under scrutiny? The answer is abnormally tense muscles. Imagine contracting your bicep - and then holding that contraction for an entire week - while also breathing shallowly. The bicep muscle would eventually become tense and painful all the time and the worst part? It would continue to maintain that terrible contraction because it becomes the new "normal" for your muscle - sending pain signals to your brain all day without you being consciously aware of them. Same thing happens to unchecked facial muscle. Facial muscles thus becomes "costly" to use (i.e. a person feels socializing is draining because of hindered activation and pain awareness of general facial expression); this is the main reason people hesitate to smile and express emotion [tense facial muscles cause a strong stress-response on activation].
Shallow breathing perpetuated and worsened this cycle so much that I reached a point where I couldn't relax even in my own room because my facial muscles were constantly braced and were telling me something was wrong. Something WAS wrong; I couldn't purposefully relax my face because, like the bicep from before, the encompassing muscles were stuck in that tense state. When I tried to relax my face to keep my composure (something that came naturally to me before I had a nervous breakdown which led into temporary months of depression and social fatigue), the best I could do was a resting bitch face which would eventually affect my mood. My eyebrows were drawn down and together even when smiling, I had a small sneer always that gave me a sour expression, and my eyelids would tense up so "I looked like I was about to cry." I became an easy target for people looking to "score points." Let's observe how to obliterate this social submissiveness.
Myofascial release is the technique of compressing an aching or tense muscle until the "trigger point" is released, rushing fresh blood into the muscle and returning said muscle to a lower tone and a lower set of activation. We're going to apply this concept to the muscles of the face. Take the knuckle of the thumb [feel free to buy an "index knobber" from amazon] and apply 5-25 pounds of pressure to major areas of the face for 45 seconds - 2 minutes. It will feel uncomfortable. IMPORTANT: you must breathe long and slow and deeply while compressing. You could do more damage if you breathe shallowly while applying pressure. Your breathing pattern should be at least 3 seconds in, 4 seconds out. Visualize almost relaxing into the pain and discomfort. If you can't breathe like this, hold off and work on creating a deeper breathing pattern first. I strongly recommend first applying pressure to the sides of the nose and the brow and the major smiling muscles. Look up pictures of facial muscles and use them as a base for yourself. The most tense areas are unique to you, so I also recommend compressing every possible inch. Any area that feels tender means you've discovered another area that will lower your baseline stress and up your composure once compressed. You're on the right track if the area feels warm afterwards, that means fresh blood is rushing into the muscle. Compression will hurt, but take solace in the fact that it's not the act that causes pain, it's really just you noticing the sheer amount of pain signals that particular muscle already sends to your brain every day. Your face, just like mine did, holds layers and layers of tension from years of nervous social interaction and childhood to adult traumas. Take your face back.
I've been doing facial compression for a couple of weeks now and I feel like my old self again. I feel less defensive and able to hold my composure better when people say silly things [hiding your power level is great advice I've read from Chase]. My face feels lighter and I can make and control facial expressions more easily than ever. I feel more relaxed than ever and convey emotions only when I want to convey them. I highly recommend doing this for yourself and seeing the results firsthand. Thank you for reading, peace
How do you generally "win" in social situations? The two biggest giveaways: facial expression and breathing. If someone comes up to you, say while you're out grocery shopping, and calls you some insult - how would submissiveness look to an outsider perceiving the interaction? This outsider would know if you "lost" due to your body language (if no other words were said): you wince, you start holding your breath, you look down, you grimace. This is unnecessary and neurotic. How would "domination" look? Walking away, with a peaceful resting facial expression, as if you didn't even hear the guy say anything. We're going to focus on the face for this post, on how to per-emptively stop the face from taking on abnormal amounts of tension during provocation.
First we answer the question: why do some of us wince under scrutiny? The answer is abnormally tense muscles. Imagine contracting your bicep - and then holding that contraction for an entire week - while also breathing shallowly. The bicep muscle would eventually become tense and painful all the time and the worst part? It would continue to maintain that terrible contraction because it becomes the new "normal" for your muscle - sending pain signals to your brain all day without you being consciously aware of them. Same thing happens to unchecked facial muscle. Facial muscles thus becomes "costly" to use (i.e. a person feels socializing is draining because of hindered activation and pain awareness of general facial expression); this is the main reason people hesitate to smile and express emotion [tense facial muscles cause a strong stress-response on activation].
Shallow breathing perpetuated and worsened this cycle so much that I reached a point where I couldn't relax even in my own room because my facial muscles were constantly braced and were telling me something was wrong. Something WAS wrong; I couldn't purposefully relax my face because, like the bicep from before, the encompassing muscles were stuck in that tense state. When I tried to relax my face to keep my composure (something that came naturally to me before I had a nervous breakdown which led into temporary months of depression and social fatigue), the best I could do was a resting bitch face which would eventually affect my mood. My eyebrows were drawn down and together even when smiling, I had a small sneer always that gave me a sour expression, and my eyelids would tense up so "I looked like I was about to cry." I became an easy target for people looking to "score points." Let's observe how to obliterate this social submissiveness.
Myofascial release is the technique of compressing an aching or tense muscle until the "trigger point" is released, rushing fresh blood into the muscle and returning said muscle to a lower tone and a lower set of activation. We're going to apply this concept to the muscles of the face. Take the knuckle of the thumb [feel free to buy an "index knobber" from amazon] and apply 5-25 pounds of pressure to major areas of the face for 45 seconds - 2 minutes. It will feel uncomfortable. IMPORTANT: you must breathe long and slow and deeply while compressing. You could do more damage if you breathe shallowly while applying pressure. Your breathing pattern should be at least 3 seconds in, 4 seconds out. Visualize almost relaxing into the pain and discomfort. If you can't breathe like this, hold off and work on creating a deeper breathing pattern first. I strongly recommend first applying pressure to the sides of the nose and the brow and the major smiling muscles. Look up pictures of facial muscles and use them as a base for yourself. The most tense areas are unique to you, so I also recommend compressing every possible inch. Any area that feels tender means you've discovered another area that will lower your baseline stress and up your composure once compressed. You're on the right track if the area feels warm afterwards, that means fresh blood is rushing into the muscle. Compression will hurt, but take solace in the fact that it's not the act that causes pain, it's really just you noticing the sheer amount of pain signals that particular muscle already sends to your brain every day. Your face, just like mine did, holds layers and layers of tension from years of nervous social interaction and childhood to adult traumas. Take your face back.
I've been doing facial compression for a couple of weeks now and I feel like my old self again. I feel less defensive and able to hold my composure better when people say silly things [hiding your power level is great advice I've read from Chase]. My face feels lighter and I can make and control facial expressions more easily than ever. I feel more relaxed than ever and convey emotions only when I want to convey them. I highly recommend doing this for yourself and seeing the results firsthand. Thank you for reading, peace
