Oh Pry's life changing epiphany on missing out and being a late bloomer.

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I recently had a life changing epiphany I just had to share with you guys, it somewhat put me at ease.

It's been a big theme of my life recently, a really big one to be honest, one that at some points in my life made me break down and drove me insane. As most of you know, I missed out on a lot of the fun and social experiences of both high school and college. I graduated high school as a virgin and was lonely most of college except towards the end when I ended up pulling off some lays. It used to drive me wild about what I missed out on, then I had this life changing epiphany I just had to share with you guys.

I strongly believe that for most guys who miss out on a lot of those experiences of their youth, it can mainly be attributed to poverty and/or overbearing parents with issues (control freaks). Fun social life and all of that craziness and cool stuff in adolescence are really privileges reserved for kids who are middle class, in most cases.

Then after reading posts on my now locked thread and really breaking down my own life, I realized that it's all about wealth, heard it on a Kanye West song and even thought about a Trump rally theme that kept popping up saying "follow the money".

The quote goes "having money's not everything not having it is" and then I really look back at my life and compare it to that of some of the kids I knew in college. I grew up in a working class and somewhat dangerous part of my state compared to the kids I knew in college who grew up in the nice wealthy suburbs. Then I really started thinking about it and looking into it all, everything about the cool hedonism and sexual experiences that are so glamorized in American culture and they call come down to one thing, wealth, whether it is having it or coming from it.

All of the Project X type of stuff, Superbad, Disturbia, and all of the high school movies that show high school as being this fun filled place where kids do crazy stuff? It takes place in wealthier suburbs where kids live in decent homes. All of the craziness that happens, it tends to happen in those wealthier suburban areas. Compare that to poor areas where people are too busy making ends meet and fending for themselves, you don't exactly have situations where your neighbor is a hot blonde bombshell whose parent's have their own swimming pool.

Now on to college, whether it is movies like American Pie or Neighbors. Take Greek Life for instance, probably the apex of debauchery in American culture. All of the partying, casual sex, and narcissism all take place in it on a college campus. What does it really take to be a part of it?

The answer is simple, money. At some universities, you have to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars per semester to be a part of a desired house. Most of the kids in Greek Life tend to come from upper middle class type of areas where parents can afford to pay thousands for their kid to be in Greek Life.

What are the poor kids doing in college? Working to pay for it and all of that stuff, they aren't partying as hard as their privileged friends.

Just compare the social media accounts of poor kids to rich kids, you get a better understanding then and there.

As Jordan Belfort said on Wolf of Wall Street, "I want you to solve your problems in life by being rich!".

I slowly see it, so many problems in life, even early on in life, are brought upon by lack of wealth. Not only the numbers on your bank account or not being able to feed yourself but also the social experiences. Compare lives of the wealthier kids in the suburbs to those in the projects (it's nothing like the rap videos!), you will see that the differences in the social experiences vary drastically. On one end you have the crazy parties with alcohol while on the other, you are lucky if kids in the same room don't destroy each other. Then the college experiences of the rich kids who were well connected with that of the poor kids who weren't, you immediately know.

All along, it was about the wealth, the money and things that come with it as well as showing that you come from it. Even PUA and game teaches you how to be higher status and appealing to women, things that those who come from wealth have a somewhat easier time doing. Exceptions exist, there are poor guys who have game but generally, I think that it is the rich kids who get to have all of those fulfilling social experiences of youth.

It has given me some clarity on my situation, even as I compare my life now to the hell I was raised in.

I am not currently in NYC (visiting another city) but when I moved to NYC and started working in finance, I already saw it. The abundance of hot girls, the smiles on the streets of wealthier areas at night as people have fun, everyone out at bars having a great time, and just how the mood in the wealthier parts of the city is like compared to the not so wealthy parts. The hot girls out and about, the cool guys who seem so jolly, and it's so much more smiles than anger and hatred that I saw in the poverty I was raised in.

I am past my college days and still fear that the same kinds of opportunities may never come but this clarity has put me at ease.

Maybe I will never have any experiences in adulthood that rival that of a rich frat boy in his college days, at least not in terms of girls, social life, and partying. It is an uncomfortable fact I have learned to slowly accept, however tough it may be but I've let go of the hate I had.

The whole time, life was just showing me how things can be when you are rich versus being poor and it money doesn't even have to show its face. Who knows what kinds of exciting and fulfilling experiences social experiences adulthood offers but now I know that a way of earning a decent salary might do some wonders. Maybe there are avenues in adulthood for guys who have a decent salary to enjoy a lot of fun social and exciting experiences as well and they might be almost as good as they were in college.

Perhaps adulthood and life after school have some amazing social experiences to offer to a bachelor with a somewhat respectable salary. I better get to work and just see where it goes from there, haven't even tapped into Manhattan's party scene due to spending so much time with work (50 hrs a week) and chasing women on the weekends.

 

[mindful]

Good topic man, this is something I've come to realize as well as I look back on my college years and even my time being out of school and in the working world and being around people that come from solid middle/upper middle class families.

I

All of the Project X type of stuff, Superbad, Disturbia, and all of the high school movies that show high school as being this fun filled place where kids do crazy stuff? It takes place in wealthier suburbs where kids live in decent homes. All of the craziness that happens, it tends to happen in those wealthier suburban areas. Compare that to poor areas where people are too busy making ends meet and fending for themselves, you don't exactly have situations where your neighbor is a hot blonde bombshell whose parent's have their own swimming pool.

I grew up in a small town where most families made less than 40k a year. However, my childhood was really great. I lived in the same house all my life, grew up with the same friends, and did all the typical stuff you're talking about. I played sports, rode my bike all around town, went to friends houses' to swim in their pools, played tackle football in the park, big birthday parties where all my friends were there to play with, hide-n-seek, skateboarding, spent a lot of time playing video games,experiencing all the fads of the 90s, etc. However, I never went on family vacations like typical middle-class/upper middle-class families did. It just wasn't something a lot of families did where I lived, because of the money aspect as well as not having the exposure and luxury to do it. Honestly, I still miss my childhood, the friendships I had, which honestly, are still my best ones (due to all the life experiences). And most people I grew up with, guess what? They are still living in my hometown, or a surrounding area and not doing much with their lives. My friends who's parents pushed them in school and had decent jobs? They are the ones that graduated college and have good jobs. It's sad but, you can tell really early which kids will be successful in life and who won't be. A lot has to do with their family and who surrounds them.

When I went to college I experienced a definite wealth-gap. Kids driving luxury cars, parents giving them large allowances and spending a lot of time partying and doing drugs, kids who studied abroad. However, within my social circle at school, my roommate was the only one who was I'd consider well-off, dad was a CEO and he was well-traveled, played musical instruments and went to boarding school where tuition was the same as college, so the cost of college wasn't even apparent to him since he didn't even pay for it.

But my other friends were like me, grew up in lower middle-class incomes where their childhood was similar to mine, took out student loans. My ego definitely took a hit in college, especially with a girl I was dating who was well-off... drove a Lexus and stuff. I was embarrassed and ashamed that my family wasn't successful. It's sad but I still get that feeling even now.

Since I've moved to a new city I still experience a wealth-gap and still carry with me a feeling of shame and embarrassment of my family (for financial reasons). I make low six-figures at my job and yet I don't feel like I'm on the level of people who make less but are still supported or supplemented by their parents (to a degree). I see it a lot in my dating life as well. When i meet these girls that live the "life", full of travel and experiences... and I don't have that. I never had an opportunity to do those things. I'm just now starting to actually travel more. But, it's not because I've never wanted to... I've just had other things that have took priority... like vigorously paying off my student loans and padding my bank account.

And, like you, it took me a while to understand what the media, movies, tv and such paint these "good lifes" of. And it is an unfortunate truth, but it does come down to wealth and your upbringing. Wealth gives you opportunity.... opportunity to travel, opportunity to take risks and start a business, create that "cool" startup in Silicon Valley. Because let's face it, most kids that live in the big cities that the media paints news stories are from the upper-class. I see it now even when I scroll through my facebook newsfeed. The people I knew that came from modest backgrounds are in stable careers or live modest lives, myself included. The people that I met in college that were well-off, guess what? They are the ones starting their own business' and doing entrepreneur type stuff. My roommate from college? He started his own indie game dev studio. All my other friends? Good office jobs.

Now, are there exceptions to the rule? YES. But, this is not the majority. Coming to this realization has changed my perspective as well. Life is not fair, it never will be. Can a person dictate their future and be successful? Yes, i believe this whole-heartedly. Does it take more determination and grit if you are lower-class? Yes it does. So Pry, it sounds like you are doing well in your life NOW. And I think that is important to realize and be thankful for. Don't compare yourself to others, because like you said, most people you meet in NYC will come from affluent backgrounds and families.

 

[Fuck This]

The Key is to be happy with your lot in life, or happy that you are on your way to your goals...

For many of us that is linked to Wealth.

Money can solve just about everything but emotional fulfillment and Self Awareness....