I'd like to start by saying that nothing bad happened, but tonight I had to reflect a bit on the dangers that barrier languages with a drunk girl can pose.
There's an article from Chase saying that with girl with very little English you have to push even harder, and I agree, but what I'd like to add is that there's a higher risk you can find yourself innocent and in thorny situation, especially if alcohol is involved.
BACKGROUND
Walk back home from a few beers with friends.
Meet this girl, right away she stands so close to my face/lips that I have to force myself not to take a step back.
She's very drunk, but she can still talk without slurring and walk without problems -was walking pretty fast actually-. So I had some qualms yes, but decided anyway to go for it.
I say to go get a beer, she grabs my hand pulling me somewhere but I pull towards my place saying "my place".
Her English is elementary at best, I'm not sure she understood but we kept going, most of the time holding each others hand.
AT HOME
At home she goes sitting straight on the bed. We kiss, I run my hands on her body.
Probably there was no need, but I still felt like I should have made her feel "safer", so to stress that she wasn't alone with a guy she didn't know I said I had flatmates: "one guy from Ireland and German girl" -it's actually Hollande, but I deemed too complicated for her.
She repeats in disbelief "girl from Germany?" a couple of times. I guess she understood I have a girlfriend from Germany rather than a flatmate.
She stands up and goes for the door of my room, put her shoes back and goes for the main door without saying anything.
My efforts to explain are useless. Her English is too weak to even understand simple sentences like "I said I live with a German girl, not that I have a German GF" and anyway she doesn't want to listen to anything anymore, I'm not sure what went theough her head.
She moves ahead of me and darts out of the condo's main door without turning around.
I go back home, put the shoes back and go out to see if I can find her to try to explain -and bed her, of course
-.
OUTSIDE
But when she sees me at the metro stop she moves away quickly and looking very annoyed.
She goes talking to a guy, and points at me.
I very much doubt she said I was the guy who wanted to make love to her and switched the candles on for her and gave her water.
At that point I quickly move away from the place.
(POSSIBLE) DANGERS
What if it had been the police rather than a random dude?
It's not unlikely, it's close to the center here, there's a lot of police.
I don't speak a single word of the local language, I didn't have any ID with me (ID and insurance card are mandatory).
At the very best I would have spent quite some time in the local police station and most likely given a fine for not having ID and insurance with me (maybe even had to pay for a translator).
Of course the girl was angry and annoyed with me, but what if she had been so angry till the point she would have said I wanted to take advantage of her, took her home and started touching her without her consent?
What if she said she was 20 but was actually a minor?
I really think it was a real possibility..
So yeah, just sharing, watch out for drunk/high girls, and especially so if big language barriers are present and you're not in your home country.
There's an article from Chase saying that with girl with very little English you have to push even harder, and I agree, but what I'd like to add is that there's a higher risk you can find yourself innocent and in thorny situation, especially if alcohol is involved.
BACKGROUND
Walk back home from a few beers with friends.
Meet this girl, right away she stands so close to my face/lips that I have to force myself not to take a step back.
She's very drunk, but she can still talk without slurring and walk without problems -was walking pretty fast actually-. So I had some qualms yes, but decided anyway to go for it.
I say to go get a beer, she grabs my hand pulling me somewhere but I pull towards my place saying "my place".
Her English is elementary at best, I'm not sure she understood but we kept going, most of the time holding each others hand.
AT HOME
At home she goes sitting straight on the bed. We kiss, I run my hands on her body.
Probably there was no need, but I still felt like I should have made her feel "safer", so to stress that she wasn't alone with a guy she didn't know I said I had flatmates: "one guy from Ireland and German girl" -it's actually Hollande, but I deemed too complicated for her.
She repeats in disbelief "girl from Germany?" a couple of times. I guess she understood I have a girlfriend from Germany rather than a flatmate.
She stands up and goes for the door of my room, put her shoes back and goes for the main door without saying anything.
My efforts to explain are useless. Her English is too weak to even understand simple sentences like "I said I live with a German girl, not that I have a German GF" and anyway she doesn't want to listen to anything anymore, I'm not sure what went theough her head.
She moves ahead of me and darts out of the condo's main door without turning around.
I go back home, put the shoes back and go out to see if I can find her to try to explain -and bed her, of course
-.OUTSIDE
But when she sees me at the metro stop she moves away quickly and looking very annoyed.
She goes talking to a guy, and points at me.
I very much doubt she said I was the guy who wanted to make love to her and switched the candles on for her and gave her water
.At that point I quickly move away from the place.
(POSSIBLE) DANGERS
What if it had been the police rather than a random dude?
It's not unlikely, it's close to the center here, there's a lot of police.
I don't speak a single word of the local language, I didn't have any ID with me (ID and insurance card are mandatory).
At the very best I would have spent quite some time in the local police station and most likely given a fine for not having ID and insurance with me (maybe even had to pay for a translator).
Of course the girl was angry and annoyed with me, but what if she had been so angry till the point she would have said I wanted to take advantage of her, took her home and started touching her without her consent?
What if she said she was 20 but was actually a minor?
I really think it was a real possibility..
So yeah, just sharing, watch out for drunk/high girls, and especially so if big language barriers are present and you're not in your home country.
