- Joined
- Oct 26, 2015
- Messages
- 246
On the street at night. We're three guys, they are four girls. Unfortunately only one interests us. We confirmed beforehand that she would be left to me, but everybody is talking to everybody. My friend asks the hot girl in this group if she has a boyfriend. I try to get a conversation rolling, but it's a big mess. Even though we have moments of strong eye contact, it's too early to isolate her.
Our two groups go separate ways. Generally, my friend tends to bail out of interactions too quickly. There's not much left to do with this girl. [1]
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There are two cute girls. As we walk by one of my friends indicates that he considers her SO HOT. When I realized that I should have opened her, even if it was just for him, there already was a group of guys talking to them. [2][3]
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In the club there's a 2f2m group, which the cute girl is always distancing herself from a little, being on her own in the club. I consider opening her ... and just some minutes later a guy opens her sitting there at the couch. Even though his approach looks a little clumsy, they seem to get along nicely.
The other girl pulls her out there and back into their group, but she returns to the guy. They chat for quite some time, but them suddenly he vanishes.
Now they are all sitting together. I feel like just stepping in boldly, but now the guy sparks a conversation.
When she finally is alone on the dance floor again, I take her elbow, pull her some steps away, and sit down on a stool as I talk to her.
She responds to anything I ask, but her body is facing 90 degrees away, towards her friends. I don't give in, keep talking and even remember to put less effort: When I don't understand something she says, I use an according facial expression which has her repeat it.
My friend shows up. The guy from her group takes advantage of the distraction and pulls her out. [4] [5]
No more girls of interest left.
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As we go to another club it's empty and the waitress I dig is there without many clients to attend. I spark a convo, but there's still too much distraction. First my friend and then batches of guy groups start to roll in, her being the only hottie.
Maybe it's not the right moment, but given tonights experiences, I decide to persist this time.
"Once all this bustle is over, is there some WhatsApp I can contact you on?". Her "no" is friendly, but she returns to her work immediately. I follow, and I am persistent in some relaxed way, though at some point I feel I'm a little too pushy. Anyway, none of my efforts get me her number. She says I should come another time, when she's "in a better mood".
I still believe I can get her if I keep trying (which, in itself is a good sign for my confidence getting stronger), but now I am in a chaser frame, which I'll want to get out of first. [6]
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LESSONS LEARNT
QUESTIONS
[1] In hindsight, maybe we could have merged and moved together into some bar. Also I COULD have openly stated my interest in the form of a genuine compliment at least, then stand close up, blocking out the others.
[2] This was pretty early and I expected more girls to come. I will get rid of my hesitation and decide if I want to continue the interaction ONCE TALKING TO HER.
[3] Once we passed the girls there were now two guys talking to them already. I wonder how I can enter a set in such a moment (?)
[4] Considering the fragility of the connection, I should have just said "oh hi" to my friend and continued with the girl instead of trying to include him and generally be resistant in regards to my friends interrupting. Also, I should have just stopped her from leaving.
[5] I also focussed on my fundamentals tonight, but I did notice that I don't yet stand out much just by posture, walk and clothing. Sure there's still potential for improvement, but I think that 80% is there. I wonder if working the remaining 20% or extending across other fundamentals like pre-selection would be more efficient.
[6] I also focussed on my fundamentals tonight, but I did notice that I don't yet stand out much just by posture, walk and clothing. Sure there's still potential for improvement, but I think that 80% is there. I wonder if working the remaining 20% or extending across other fundamentals like pre-selection would be more efficient.
Our two groups go separate ways. Generally, my friend tends to bail out of interactions too quickly. There's not much left to do with this girl. [1]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are two cute girls. As we walk by one of my friends indicates that he considers her SO HOT. When I realized that I should have opened her, even if it was just for him, there already was a group of guys talking to them. [2][3]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the club there's a 2f2m group, which the cute girl is always distancing herself from a little, being on her own in the club. I consider opening her ... and just some minutes later a guy opens her sitting there at the couch. Even though his approach looks a little clumsy, they seem to get along nicely.
The other girl pulls her out there and back into their group, but she returns to the guy. They chat for quite some time, but them suddenly he vanishes.
Now they are all sitting together. I feel like just stepping in boldly, but now the guy sparks a conversation.
When she finally is alone on the dance floor again, I take her elbow, pull her some steps away, and sit down on a stool as I talk to her.
She responds to anything I ask, but her body is facing 90 degrees away, towards her friends. I don't give in, keep talking and even remember to put less effort: When I don't understand something she says, I use an according facial expression which has her repeat it.
My friend shows up. The guy from her group takes advantage of the distraction and pulls her out. [4] [5]
No more girls of interest left.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
As we go to another club it's empty and the waitress I dig is there without many clients to attend. I spark a convo, but there's still too much distraction. First my friend and then batches of guy groups start to roll in, her being the only hottie.
Maybe it's not the right moment, but given tonights experiences, I decide to persist this time.
"Once all this bustle is over, is there some WhatsApp I can contact you on?". Her "no" is friendly, but she returns to her work immediately. I follow, and I am persistent in some relaxed way, though at some point I feel I'm a little too pushy. Anyway, none of my efforts get me her number. She says I should come another time, when she's "in a better mood".
I still believe I can get her if I keep trying (which, in itself is a good sign for my confidence getting stronger), but now I am in a chaser frame, which I'll want to get out of first. [6]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
LESSONS LEARNT
QUESTIONS
[1] In hindsight, maybe we could have merged and moved together into some bar. Also I COULD have openly stated my interest in the form of a genuine compliment at least, then stand close up, blocking out the others.
[2] This was pretty early and I expected more girls to come. I will get rid of my hesitation and decide if I want to continue the interaction ONCE TALKING TO HER.
[3] Once we passed the girls there were now two guys talking to them already. I wonder how I can enter a set in such a moment (?)
[4] Considering the fragility of the connection, I should have just said "oh hi" to my friend and continued with the girl instead of trying to include him and generally be resistant in regards to my friends interrupting. Also, I should have just stopped her from leaving.
[5] I also focussed on my fundamentals tonight, but I did notice that I don't yet stand out much just by posture, walk and clothing. Sure there's still potential for improvement, but I think that 80% is there. I wonder if working the remaining 20% or extending across other fundamentals like pre-selection would be more efficient.
[6] I also focussed on my fundamentals tonight, but I did notice that I don't yet stand out much just by posture, walk and clothing. Sure there's still potential for improvement, but I think that 80% is there. I wonder if working the remaining 20% or extending across other fundamentals like pre-selection would be more efficient.
