One Man's Metamorphosis (the More Criticism/Feedback, the Better)

[Metamorphosis]

Hello Everyone,

I am someone who has been reading Girl's Chase for about 6 months, and so far, I have went on about 12 dates and have had 1 lay (with a girl who was below my ideal standards) within the last 6 months. I would like to begin this journal by introducing myself:

My Profile
I am a 2nd-year university student in a high-ranked university in the US. I have high professional aspirations, and I believe that I will need social skills to succeed in consulting, the field I would like to enter upon graduation. I have always been socially awkward and lazy throughout my life, and it is only ever since I have begun reading Girls Chase that I decided to make real strides to improve myself (ex. my fashion, attending information sessions of companies, cold approaching women). I have gotten results (ex. the 1 lay, dates with girls who are WAY beyond what I could've dreamed of in the past), but I would like to grow at a faster pace.

Fundamentals (according to my perception of myself):
Positives: 1) decent fashion, 2) good-looking (I'd rate myself a 7 or 8/10, have been told that "you look like a movie star"), 3) extremely good hair, 4) tall, and 5) slightly-above-average posture (but definitely have room for improvement)
Negatives: 1) don't have a manly voice yet, 2) unattractive walk- fast, definitely not gunslinger, 3) jerky movements and facial expressions (originates from my anxiety- I suspect I will have to deal with the root cause to fully deal with this), 4) extremely socially awkward (I do fine in cold approaches, but my awkwardness shows in classes and group situations), 5) skinny (lack muscles), 6) awkward eye contact in group situations (not so bad in one-on-one conversations and cold approaches), and 7) overly emotional vocal and facial reactions (ex. talking too fast when nervous)

Goals
I will be posting about once a week (either on friday or saturday).

For this week, I would like to work on having an attractive voice and walk down in muscle memory (so that I don't have to consciously think about them).

I would also like to have 1 lay (total lay count = 2). For my pipeline, I have a date with a girl on tuesday, and I have another girl who said that she is down to get food after a week of not replying (I need help with this... Not sure how to best react here). For now, I intend to wait until two days have passed before replying (to make myself not look too eager). I will post any updates on these things as well.

Finally, I will be attending a frat rush event and hope to observe people (as Chase mentioned in his article) and build up my social muscles.

Today's Approaches

Today, I made 2 cold approaches.

The first was with a girl who was sitting by herself in the cafeteria. I opened clumsily by asking "mind if I take a seat here?" The conversation was awkward, as I did not get into much deep diving and kept asking surface-level questions (ex. "which school?", "which grade?", "which dorm?", "how is where you came from?"). After about 10 minutes, I asked her if she wanted to get dinner sometime. She rejected, saying that she had a boyfriend. I countered by saying "at least you don't have a husband.", as recommended in the forum. However, my big mistake was not following that up with persistence. Instead, I watched her reaction of surprise and intrigue and was satisfied with that (forgetting momentarily the lesson of working towards results instead of reactions). Next time, I will make sure to persist after making such a statement.

The second was a girl in the bookstore. I clumsily walked around her, passing her about 3 times. I did so because I was too nervous about approaching. Eventually, I did a direct opener on her, telling her that she had a great way of dying her hair. She was very open, as she did not remove her hand for 5 seconds after holding it (I removed my hand first). The conversation had some deep-dive, with me asking her why she chose to be a pre-med student. After 3 minutes, I told her I had to go and asked if she wanted dinner. She said she didn't have time. I persisted by saying that it doesn't have to be today and that I also don't have time this week. Eventually, she gave me her number but never said "yes" to it.

 

[Metamorphosis]

Welcome back everybody! I apologize for the late post- this week was packed full of events.

The Past Week

The frat event did not go so well. Although I did practice on putting myself outside of my comfort zone, I could tell that I was noticeably awkward. One girl there was very receptive towards me, and I got her Facebook. Things were going well until other people came to talk to us. That was when my awkwardness showed, and I noticed everybody in the room perceiving me as a value taker. Regardless, after trying to go for a date with that girl later on in the week, the request was shut down.

For my date on Tuesday, it was mediocre at best. Before the date, I did feel a high amount of interest from this girl (much touching me ). However, on the date, because I spent the first part of it not framing myself as a lover, it seemed like there was little sexual tension in it. Later on, she mentioned that she had a boyfriend (who I know about- I saw him on her Facebook. As Chase mentioned in one of his articles, the photos of them together made it seem like she didn't see him as much of a man). In hindsight, I believe that I dwelt too much on the topic. After about 50 minutes, she told me she had to get going. I noticed that another mistake I made was accepting this too easily (instead of asking her to stay longer). I asked her before she left if she wanted to see a movie in my room, which she (understandably) did not agree to.

I did not hear from the other girl. Reflecting on my earlier goal, I believe that it is best to more realistically plan to have one more lay by the end of October.

In terms of my goals, I believe that I am making progress on the walk. However, the voice is still an issue (I forget to make the desired voice if I am not thinking about it). Likewise, I have begun working on my eye contact. I realized that my three big issues are 1) not holding eye contact until after the girl breaks it, 2) looking down when looking away, and 3) looking in between the eyes instead of zeroing in at one eye.

Saturday and Today, I did some cold approaches at a park. Saturday was unsuccessful, but today went well. I opened to a cute blonde-haired girl, telling her that she had lovely hair. After deep diving about her life (putting the focus of the conversation on her and using the 3 eye contact tips above), she seemed very enthusiastic about meeting me- she touched my arm and asked me lots of questions about me. When asked about myself, I tried my best to turn the conversation back to about her (however, I still think I talked more about myself than was optimal). One good thing I did here was use intrigue: after she said she was a waitress, I said "I think everyone should work at a restaurant" The effects were immediate and astounding- she began to list the benefits of being a waitress. After about 10 minutes, I asked her if she wanted to hang out, and she said yes. She then asked me if she could have my number, which I agreed to. Then, to seal the deal, I asked her when she was free and made a recommendation about the location. Then, I left.

Goals for the Next Week

1. Get 2 lays under my belt by Oct. 31
2. Work on my eye contact- no more "shy" (or creepy) eyes from me!
3. Keep up my progress on my walk- out of my peripheral vision, I do see more eyes on me than before.
4. Continue putting myself out there in social settings to work out my social muscles.
5. Work on making a masculine voice.

 

[Metamorphosis]

Although a week hasn't passed, I believe that this date merits immediate posting due to its significance:

Today, I went on a date with a social circle acquaintance. I had a feeling that she broke up with her bf, but wasn't sure. She let me know that she arrived early at around 20 minutes before the arranged time for dinner. The conversation throughout the dinner date was decent- I deep dived her and found out about her friends, her career plans, her break-up, and her experiences in her relationship. I then told her that I had a feeling that she broke up, and this seemed to increase her intrigue a lot. She proceeded to tell me about how everyone else was surprised to hear it. Throughout the interaction, I felt strong interest in her part. She was constantly playing with her hair, and she was asking me a decent amount of questions. I believe that this is partly due to my strong eye contact- I made sure to focus on one eye about 70% of the time when speaking and 95% of the time when listening. After about 30 minutes, I requested we go to a park after dinner, and she agreed.

On our way to the park, we talked about our rooms. She then asked me if my place's rooms were really that bad. I replied with "want to see for yourself", and she agreed to go. I carried the conversation as usual when we got to the apartment. However, at the front gates of my apartment, she had second thoughts and said that she changed her mind in going in. At this point, I believe that my mistake was agreeing to this, saying "okay" instead of saying something along the lines of "you only have to be here for five minutes, and you'll be free to go any time you want".

After this, she said "you can go back to your apartment if you want", but (I regret doing this) I chased by saying that I wanted to go to the park. Regardless, it was quite awkward at the park, and we split up after 15 minutes (she was constantly checking her phone, seeming like she wanted to leave early- talk about going from hot to cold!).

I believe that my greatest takeaway for today is to persist a little in these situations (to gauge if this is a token resistance or a situation in which she means it- in this case, my instinct tells me that it was the former). Other than that, it was far better than the past few dates I've had.

 

[Metamorphosis]

Another week has passed, and (unfortunately), I did not go on any dates or make any cold approaches this week. However, I do have a date with someone with a bf tomorrow (she did state that she had a bf, not sure if this is an implicit rejection. Regardless, I will still give it a shot).

However, after examining non-sexual/romantic conversations and thinking about my past, I believe that I have some lessons to learn:

1) Use implicit communication. I realize that I talk too much and brag too much explicitly. As such, I believe that I need to use implicit communication to come across as socially savy.

2) Screen girls more. I remember seeing somewhere on the forum a good method- asking the girl "are you always so (trait)?". If she says yes, then I can qualify there. If she says no, I can qualify on her humility. Either answer is going to progress the interaction forward.

3) Quit masturbation. I will be starting a no-fap program from this week

4) Get rid of notions of "fairness"- getting depressed over "fair" and "unfair" is not conducive to becoming a seducer!

 

[Metamorphosis]

Hello everyone, it's been a while since I've posted.

During the last few months, I have gotten two more lays under my belt, begun doing greater things in school, and have strengthened my fundamentals.

My first lay was this November, and it was with a girl I cold approached in my school's dining hall. Following a simple date format of 1) getting dinner, 2) going to a river to see brightly-colored buildings, 3) bringing her back, I was able to effectively get her in my bed. My second lay was 3 weeks later with the exact same date format. Unfortunately, I have lost my winning streak and have not had any lays since late-November .

However, as for my fundamentals, they have strengthened considerably. Now, my eye contact and walk have been perfected. Likewise, I have been able to get myself out of a "victim" mentality and have strove to use my own strength to get things in life (both when it comes to meeting women and working to increase my career prospects), instead of expecting things to be handed over to me.

For about 2 months, I was able to quit masturbation. Unfortunately, however, I did break that streak last week. During those 2 months of "no fap", I found that my productivity and drive (to get things done in general) have increased, and I felt like a far more confident man. Ultimately, because I have tasted the benefits of "no fap", I am going to try to re-build my "no-fap" streak.

However, my last few months have not all been sunshine and roses- I still have much to learn, and I struggle with a (new) set of weaknesses:

1) Too much anticipation (in the girls' POV) after cold approaches that lead to un-responded texts. Recently, I have not been getting texts back from girls I have cold approached after getting their phone numbers. Curious as to why this was the case, I found that one of the girlschase articles (it was titled "why does she not respond to my texts" or something along the lines of that) explained my problem very well- I spent too much time talking to girls that they ended up getting too excited over me and thus scared to respond to my texts (the article's contents were something along the lines of that). In my recent interactions, the girls were very flirty and oftentimes called me "cute", asked me to message them, and asked me many questions about my own life. While these reactions are great, the results ended up being texts that were never responded to OR she responds to my opener text but does not respond to my date-setting texts. Unfortunately for me, this has led me to have many attractive girls flirt with me during the approach but not follow up with a date.

One solution to this problem, other than minimizing the time I spend with girls I cold-approach, that I thought up of is to take girls who seem very engaged on insta-dates. I believe that this will allow me to prevent life from getting in between me and girls who are interested in me.

2) I still have a weak general-social skill (although I have become good in cold approaches). I am oftentimes considered the "oddball" in the group. However, I have learned to learn from my failures, be compassionate with myself when I fail, and be willing to walk away if a group was pushing the limits and was mistreating me.

All in all, I am optimistic that this new year will lead to better results than what I had last year (I still believe that I made good progress last year despite only having a total of 3 lays because I have improved my fundamentals and have learned many valuable life lessons that are applicable both to becoming better with women and succeeding in society)