Oneitis & Why It Is All An Illusion

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
730
I caught myself having a bit of on and off Oneitis from last week, I talked about a girl I had previously dated in my previous post and how I had cut contact with her this morning.

Even though I still feel the mental and physical pain of Oneitis as I write this post, I know one key element: It's all an illusion. In fact every girl in the past I have developed Oneitis feelings for, what I noticed was the moment I found a different girl I liked more, my energy shifts and I no longer think of the previous girl with rose colored glasses.

The moment I get rid of Oneitis, I am able to:

1. Attract more girls
2. Realize that this girl I developed feelings for has so many flaws (she seemed perfect before)
3. She no longer seems so special
4. When I compare the her to other girls, I find new girls more attractive
5. In fact in some cases, I even start to wonder why the fuck did I even like this girl to begin with
6. I start to refocus on my life goals

#6 Is a big one...these days when I get rejected, even though I still feel the pain, it does not bother me as much anymore for as long a period. When I was in high school (just 5 years ago), I had a lot of free time after school to text and call girls. And whenever a girl would show me even a little bit of interest, I would develop Oneitis at 100% levels and it would last weeks, sometimes months. I remember the days I would Oneitis so bad, my bones would ache in pain and I would fall into a deep depression. Well that has all changed for the better these days...

The 2 biggest life goals I currently have help me to recover from Oneitis very fast, usually in days now. Even if I have not been out to meet new girls, the mere fact that I have goals larger than girls, I forget about that one girl who was quite frankly usually giving me a lot of crap!

My 2 biggest goals at the moment are:

1. Growing my business
2. Exercising and becoming lean

Those 2 goals keep me busy 24/7, I kid you not. I literally go to sleep thinking about improving in both of those goals and I wake up thinking about them. Literally there are mornings when I want to sleep in and the first thoughts that pops into my mind are things like:

"I gotta finish that campaign optimization so I can make more money today"
"I have abs workout at 6:00am, its now 5:51am, get out of bed now and get dressed so one day you can rip your shift off at the beach in pride"

...e.t.c.

So even if at odd moments of the day I end up thinking about some girl who rejected me or has not texted back, I am usually able to remain productive because I have goals bigger than women. The #1 mindset that changed my whole game was:

"Look at the big picture of where I could be in 5-10 years. Time is very limited and while my progress is not as fast as I want it to be, the reality is I am definitely improving. No girl has the power to take days, weeks or months out of my life thinking about them. They probably are already fucking other dudes so I have zero tolerance to allow my mind to become fixated on some girl who does not give a damn about dating me. Imagine she is currently sucking and swallowing some other guys cum. And here I am wasting time thinking about her. Get back to the hustle Troy. Go become a better man because one day as you become higher status, more girls will want to date and sleep with you than you even can imagine. Go get so good at something that women automatically do the chasing. Go fix your finances. Go fix your fundamentals with getting women. That one girl can go life her life. And I will go life mine and become a dominating force in the world."

That is a summary of my mindset that is helping me heal and avoid Oneitis, having a life purpose!

Here is the craziest thing about Oneitis, in my experience: The moment the Oneitis feelings go away, suddently the girl seems very average.


When I look back at all my ex girlfriends, I do notice that I am definitely improving because I have dated or gotten approach invitations from hotter and hotter girls these days. So much so it has convinced me, I would not want to even go back to dating an ex girlfriend. Even the girls who rejected me, they dont seem as special anymore and that is a good sign I am progressing.

More ambitious women, when they find out about my life goals, they become more attracted to me. So moral of my story and experience is become a high status man, remain busy on your life purpose and Oneitis will not affect you for very long.

Troy's Other Strategies To Overcome Oneitis
Find Pictures Of Hotter Instagram Girls

This works 100% for me. These days Instagram has so many profiles with hot women fully clothed, in bikinis, or many times literally naked (with a little color or pastel covering their breast, butt and vagina)...lol it's funny to see Instagram becoming so lenient of these nude pics. Girls showing their fully nude butt is now complaint with Instagram as long as they dont show their butthole, how crazy...lol... But thats another story for another time. Anyway so I go to Instagram and I usually just go through a couple of profiles (no I dont like the girls pics) and I look at these hot women and I compare the looks.

So here is the girl I am have Oneitis for since last week Monday, yeah she is cute but still not that hot.

And then here on Instagram is thousands of girls on profiles with professional photos who look way hotter than the girl I am currently infatuated with. This helps me develop an abundance mindset that women are everywhere and now all I have to do is put myself out there to meet them. Today I spent a couple minutes looking at some beautiful women on Instagram, I already have browsed 200 + pics of women more beautiful that this girl I took out on 1 date who is now giving me bullshit to get her on a 2nd date. This helps me as I am starting to like those other girls on Instagram a lot more.

Now I just need to go meet them.

Vision Board


I mentioned before I have huge goals in life, one of which is to travel. In 2019 I created a vision board which is on my room wall. Everything that I want to attract into my life is on that vision board. Whenever I get thoughts that distract me from the main goals, I look at my vision board for Inspiration. That has been helping me with Oneitis today. This morning at 2am I was up doing some stuff and my thoughts kept going to this girl and when I looked at my vision board, it helped inspire me to keep moving forward.

Money Vs. Time

Time is the most important thing to me these days. If I waste time on unproductive activities, it will take me longer to reach my goals. Whenever I catch myself thinking about a girl too much, developing oneitis, I do my best to stop my thoughts by thinking about how much money I could be making if I were more productive. Lets say for example I make $150 USD per hour (just an example)

Between last week to now I have probably spent 6 hours in total distracted from my work. In my mind, if I were making $150 USD per hour right now and I spent 6 hours thinking about a girl who does not care about me, I actually lost $900 USD in money + time. I put a dollar value to my time.

So how does this translate to your financial goals? Let's say you want to earn $500 USD an hour. And over the course of 30 days, you waste 1 hour per day on average being unproductive thinking about a girl who does not like you, is being flaky or not responding to your texts. Reality is you lost $15,000 USD in that month from your salary because you were thinking about some girl who ain't worth any of your time.

Ain't that crazy right there? What a huge loss of finances.

Thats how I think about Oneitis these days. So I cannot afford to waste time, my goals are most important.

Go Meet New Girls

Right now I am not doing this, but as well all know Girls Chase is a big advocate for doing so. I do plan to get more cold approaching in a couple of weeks or months from now once I get other things handled. I definitely agree that meeting more women is essential to developing abundance.

P.s. I had to get this in writing. That girl I am still thinking about every now and again, the truth of the matter is she was not as interested in me as I was in her for quite a while. It's only now that I am becoming more woke and enlighted I am starting to see more and more of her actual flaws and more so why I should spend no more time trying to date her. I am glad I got my thoughts out here, it has defnitely helped me feel more relaxed.

I'm a watch a movie now, get some good food and then by tomorrow get back to my life mission: making money and getting in shape.

Peace!
 
Last edited:

Slick

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 27, 2020
Messages
50
Good job man. The oneitis girls can really hook you if you’re not careful and don’t have the abundance mindset. I’ve had girls who gave me attention that really boosted my confidence and everything but at the end of the day you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket. The oneitis also saps your energy. When you lose one it’s a sign that you weren’t focusing on the right things. Your plan sounds good. I never advocate monk mode or approaching thousands of girls; I think everyone should be balanced and be open to whatever happens without having expectations.
 

Mr STIF

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
150
Oneitis is just an abundance problem. I don't have a very high notch count yet I'm neither a virgin (i had slept with 7girls before I found GC but I couldn't have relationships on my terms whether FWB or GF) but I'm incorporating cold approach into my life.

Mind you: I don't have logistics to isolate these chicks to but I'm doing it for the sake of practice. Why? So that when I start to make more money and can afford a lifestyle, meeting new women won't be my problem.

I meet cute girls off cold approach and rehearse my number close. I just chat with them but I don't isolate or go on dates for now.

I hardly have Oneitis for one girl because I know I have a process in my skull and bloodstreams that intuitively gets the job done, once I'm pretty warmed up.

I need to put my life in order, financially. But that doesn't mean I should be 'all business' and 'no pleasure'. Flirting with girls brings solace to my soul besides Pick up is a sport and you're a player: so I have to my basic skills which is my communication skills.

Pick up to me is a whole lot than just penis and vagina situations. It is a lifestyle, I'm a daygamer so I must kit up, head to the malls to practice, hit the streets, talk to guys along the way to keep me warmed up e.t.c

It makes the shy guy just know that humans are not as harmful as he has being thinking in his head. You realise that there are so much women in the world because you see them walk the streets, malls and other spheres of life everyday and you can actually connect with them physically.

So, how then can I have Oneitis?
 

Train

Chieftan
tribal-elder
Joined
Feb 3, 2020
Messages
467
I can speak to oneitis as an illusion. After my first bootcamp, my oneitis disappeared literally overnight.

I spent hours approaching girls after barely a dozen or so approaches across several years.

By approaching and interacting with plenty of new women over a weekend, abundance kicked in. I saw no reason to fixate on girls at work when I knew there plenty of girls I can meet at bars and clubs.

And I've mentioned this before. But is oneitis really true if it happens over and over again with different girls? It feels like the end of the world and like this girl is the one and only. But that is scarcity talking. I got over each girl. And fixated on a brand new girl later on.

Abundance is my goal in seduction. Because then I am well-equipped to make decisions in my life. For example, committing to a girl because she's amazing for me and not because I'm settling. I want to act from a place of strength, not desperation.
 
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