- Joined
- May 1, 2015
- Messages
- 53
Hey guys,
In this post I want to share my experience in online dating. But first, a little background why I am writing this.
In seducers community I should consider myself begginer (a bit advanced). I'm 26 years old. I like day game, but at the very beggining of my adventure through it I started dating my former university course mate (we're both lawyers) and she sucked me too much. I cut my progress and just kept reading Chase articles, but not putting anything into practice. Just later I realized she is a hardcore feminist (and has no experience with men). But it was quite late so I didn't want to let go her. But she just kept pushing me a lot frome herself, so I had no choice but to quit her, though it was the most painful experience in my life.
Now the first week after we broke, I was sitting in my home and didn't want to go anywhere. That's when I registered into 3 different online dating sites and tried my luck there. I couldn't get back to street because my confidence was at my lowest so I thought I could build my confidence through online dating. As Chase writes, it's quite good in building confidence, but girls there are second tier, with a couple of exceptions.
The hardest part for me was the opening message. At least Lithuanian girls don't like to write too much about themselves in their accounts, so there are not many hooks for men. And rarely those hooks work, unless with third tier girls. Therefore I spent some searching and thinking about the opening message. I came upon two good examples, that really worked for me. Here they are:
Hey, [Name]! Nice photos! I'd like to meet you, but in these days internet could be dangerous. So in order to make sure that it is safe for me to meet you, I'll give you three questions to answer: are you prone to depression? Are you a loner? Can you lie staring straight into other person's eyes?
or
Hey, [Name]! Nice photos! Before inviting you on a date, I have to make sure you'll be a good wife, so I'll give you three questons: can you cook [some kind of national dish, must be a bit funny]? Can you knit? Do you have a sense of humour?
About 50-60 percent of girls respond to this, mainly positive. Some of those are just like "Haha, that's funny", but they don't answer any more questions or remarks (maybe I'm not their type). In 10 days time I went to dates with 6 different girls (lawyer, accountant, doctor, procurement specialist and 2 medicine students). And from those 2 I quite liked, though I was on the fence. I invited both to second dates, one didn't write back (she was flirty, but not very smart, maybe I looke out of her league) and the second one agreed, though I thought she'd refuse (I don't know if she'll go to third, though). So actually, out of 6 girls, just one was first tier girl, she has great body, started working as medic after graduation this year, seems quite smart and sincere. And by the way, she rarely logins to dating site, so maybe I was lucky.
So what did I notice from online dating? First, girls care for your looks (abvious, isn't it?), but for some it's not the most important thing. Girls are not that sexy and beautiful, but often are quite smart. It's better than Tinder, because on Tinder they don't go to dates, they don't hook up, maybe looks there are more important. In online dating you can't invite her on a date with 3rd or 4th message, you have to exchange maybe 10 messages, so it's quite time consuming, but sometimes fun, sometimes I agree on a date within 30-60 minutes if she stays online. Some of them (rarely) says that it's too early to go on a date and we need to exchange a dozne of messages a couple of times (I don't do that). Most of the times they give you their numbers quite easily after you invite her for a date and want to set it by SMS messages (sometimes in online sites they vanish quite quickly, so you can't play such games as taking hours to respond). Btw, messages should be without spelling mistakes, but I think you already know this.
Mostly I try to employ some humour into messages, that the conversasion would flow or my questions wouldn't be as interogation. Though mostly I follow this pattern (not neceserily in this order): ask what she does for a living, what she does during her free time, what she's looking for (friends or boyfriend, but if they say friends, they often lie) and what qualities do they like in men. I mix in between these some additional questions for the conversation to flow and seem natural, like "great, your I know quite a lot of doctors", "in what area do you practice", "what books do you like reading", "what you consider a manly man" etc. Sometimes questions about what they're looking for does not work, so I skip them. But I noticed, that too much humour is bad, you some like you're not serious guy, because all girls are seeking serious relationship there (yeah, right). So they sometimes say "what is the purpose of your question in such site". They seem like you have to follow common pattern. And a good sign is if they ask you reciprocical questions. Interesting thing - girls don't flake!
If you have some tips or observations from your own, please share them here, it'd be interesting to discuss this topic.
Meanwhile, I hope to get back in the street soon, because students are coming into town (I live in the town of 300k people, not many of them are young, mainly students). I hope, I'll gather my strength.
In this post I want to share my experience in online dating. But first, a little background why I am writing this.
In seducers community I should consider myself begginer (a bit advanced). I'm 26 years old. I like day game, but at the very beggining of my adventure through it I started dating my former university course mate (we're both lawyers) and she sucked me too much. I cut my progress and just kept reading Chase articles, but not putting anything into practice. Just later I realized she is a hardcore feminist (and has no experience with men). But it was quite late so I didn't want to let go her. But she just kept pushing me a lot frome herself, so I had no choice but to quit her, though it was the most painful experience in my life.
Now the first week after we broke, I was sitting in my home and didn't want to go anywhere. That's when I registered into 3 different online dating sites and tried my luck there. I couldn't get back to street because my confidence was at my lowest so I thought I could build my confidence through online dating. As Chase writes, it's quite good in building confidence, but girls there are second tier, with a couple of exceptions.
The hardest part for me was the opening message. At least Lithuanian girls don't like to write too much about themselves in their accounts, so there are not many hooks for men. And rarely those hooks work, unless with third tier girls. Therefore I spent some searching and thinking about the opening message. I came upon two good examples, that really worked for me. Here they are:
Hey, [Name]! Nice photos! I'd like to meet you, but in these days internet could be dangerous. So in order to make sure that it is safe for me to meet you, I'll give you three questions to answer: are you prone to depression? Are you a loner? Can you lie staring straight into other person's eyes?
or
Hey, [Name]! Nice photos! Before inviting you on a date, I have to make sure you'll be a good wife, so I'll give you three questons: can you cook [some kind of national dish, must be a bit funny]? Can you knit? Do you have a sense of humour?
About 50-60 percent of girls respond to this, mainly positive. Some of those are just like "Haha, that's funny", but they don't answer any more questions or remarks (maybe I'm not their type). In 10 days time I went to dates with 6 different girls (lawyer, accountant, doctor, procurement specialist and 2 medicine students). And from those 2 I quite liked, though I was on the fence. I invited both to second dates, one didn't write back (she was flirty, but not very smart, maybe I looke out of her league) and the second one agreed, though I thought she'd refuse (I don't know if she'll go to third, though). So actually, out of 6 girls, just one was first tier girl, she has great body, started working as medic after graduation this year, seems quite smart and sincere. And by the way, she rarely logins to dating site, so maybe I was lucky.
So what did I notice from online dating? First, girls care for your looks (abvious, isn't it?), but for some it's not the most important thing. Girls are not that sexy and beautiful, but often are quite smart. It's better than Tinder, because on Tinder they don't go to dates, they don't hook up, maybe looks there are more important. In online dating you can't invite her on a date with 3rd or 4th message, you have to exchange maybe 10 messages, so it's quite time consuming, but sometimes fun, sometimes I agree on a date within 30-60 minutes if she stays online. Some of them (rarely) says that it's too early to go on a date and we need to exchange a dozne of messages a couple of times (I don't do that). Most of the times they give you their numbers quite easily after you invite her for a date and want to set it by SMS messages (sometimes in online sites they vanish quite quickly, so you can't play such games as taking hours to respond). Btw, messages should be without spelling mistakes, but I think you already know this.
Mostly I try to employ some humour into messages, that the conversasion would flow or my questions wouldn't be as interogation. Though mostly I follow this pattern (not neceserily in this order): ask what she does for a living, what she does during her free time, what she's looking for (friends or boyfriend, but if they say friends, they often lie) and what qualities do they like in men. I mix in between these some additional questions for the conversation to flow and seem natural, like "great, your I know quite a lot of doctors", "in what area do you practice", "what books do you like reading", "what you consider a manly man" etc. Sometimes questions about what they're looking for does not work, so I skip them. But I noticed, that too much humour is bad, you some like you're not serious guy, because all girls are seeking serious relationship there (yeah, right). So they sometimes say "what is the purpose of your question in such site". They seem like you have to follow common pattern. And a good sign is if they ask you reciprocical questions. Interesting thing - girls don't flake!
If you have some tips or observations from your own, please share them here, it'd be interesting to discuss this topic.
Meanwhile, I hope to get back in the street soon, because students are coming into town (I live in the town of 300k people, not many of them are young, mainly students). I hope, I'll gather my strength.
