Out with a girl and responding to rude waiters/cashiers/drivers/people>?

[andersen09]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFg_PDSQBAk
Watch the video from 0:00 - 0:30

Thats the exact type of scenarios i face.

These don't happen as often, but a few times I'll be out with a girl, we stop by a store such as Target/Gas Station/Starbucks/Ihop and are faced with rude/horrible service from the people servicing us, or me as I'm usually doing the one doing the order for both of us.

I'll give you few scenarios.

Example #1

I was out with a girl at midnight and got amazing head from her when we met. Afterwards, she was hungry and so was I. The only place open at the time on a Wednesday was at iHOP. When we arrive, it's pretty empty. There's a sign that says "please wait to be seated". There's a worker that's just sitting down staring into his phone and not even bothering to help us. So I ask him "Excuse me, can you seat us?" and he replies "Just go sit anywhere you want man"

I didn't think much of it, but we sit down and look over the menu. About after 10 minutes, there's a manager that comes by.

Example #1.
Manager: Have you guys been helped?
Me: No not yet.
Manger: I'm sorry bout that one second.

(I over hear him talking to his worker)
Manager: Have you helped them?
Worker: Nah, they can wait.

(Manager proceeds to helping us).

Example #2. (Me without a girl)

I go to target to buy a camera and there's some black guy working there.
So I go up to him and ask

Me: "Excuse me, I'm looking for a certain type of camera, can you help me with finding X?"
Worker: (Without even looking up) Just look over there man.
Me: (Inside I feel a little bit of anger as he's not even looking up to try and help)

Example #3. I try to befriend some dude, but he won't even turn to face you.

I've noticed most of the time, other guys who are "leader" types of guys won't respond to me like most friendly guys do.
What I mean is for example, in Salsa class.

I'll be having fun with few girls, and guys (if they're friendly).
And I walk over to the other side, and try to befriend another guy.

Me: Yo man, what up! (Being friendly, warm, open body language)
Dude A: (Won't even look up at me, his shoulder to me) Sup.

So basically, I come in with a cool, warm vibe, trying to befriend this guy because he's an awesome dancer, and also teaches people here and there.
But I'm facing him totally 100%, while he's facing away from me and not even looking at me.
It almost feels like he's playing some kind of power game with me.

This almost always happens with guys who are more on the "aggressive" side or leader types.
It's weird.

So I'll try little more.

Me: I saw your dance moves with that girl, looks dope.
Dude A; Yup.

(For this dude, I had enough, so I played the game right back at him)

So for example, he'll be dancing with a girl he likes.
And I'll come in, and literally just come up to the girl and simply say, let's dance.
She'll excitedly leave him to come dancing with me. And usually he just stands there looking dumb.

But I also feel like this burns alot of bridges, as these types of guys can be good friends to have around.
They're cool, having strong personalities like me, and to some degree socially aware.
However, when I try to cool with them, a few of em will treat me as if I'm trying to "seek rapport".
And when I'm with a girl especially, and she sees me being treated like this by another guy, it'll seem a certain way.

Usually, when I'm with a girl I don't bother talking to other dudes, but sometimes assholes will be assholes and can't be avoided.
Whether it's an Uber driver, waiters, and such, and it'd be good to have a proper response.

My question is, how do you guys go about handling rude people like this who you HAVE to face, gracefully, but also kind of keeping them checked.
ESPECIALLY, the ones where the guy doesn't even look up to acknowledge you when you're being courteous and being warm/friendly.

Thanks guys, this ones been bothering me for a little bit, as it probably happens once every month or so for the past 6-7 months.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Hey Andersen,

Yeah these can be a bit frustrating to run into with a girl. Seems like you have 2 separate instances being: 1) Rude encounters when with a girl 2) Not getting attention of cool high status guys in a venue.

Rude Encounters with a girl: I took a bootcamp once with this mega successful rich real estate entrepreneur who was really good with women. I witnessed him encounter bad service a few times while on bootcamp and he had his girlfriend with him the whole time.

He was pretty extreme but he'd basically just bluntly criticize their mistake and insinuate they were losers in life. Though he was incredibly nice and well mannered when receiving good service. (Operant conditioning)

I.e. A waiter brought back the paid for bill but forgot to give him back his credit card and as the waiter walked off with his credit card my BC instructor called out "bring me back my credit card you hack. No wonder your still working as a waiter in a low level restaurant at age 50!". Then he wrote a big 0 on the tip line of the receipt and handed it to the guy as we walked out the door and said "better luck next time". His girl just rolled her eyes a bit through it all but took his side on issue.

Its a very capitalistic approach but I like it, and just tone it down a bit for me. I don't personally attack the service provider unless I'm actually truly upset at the situation which rarely happens. One girl I did this with on a date admitted later on she appreciated me standing up to the bad service and getting things fixed. (In this case a table was left unclean and a server tried to seat us there I told the server "Your going to have to seat us at a nicer table without leftover food crumbs if you want our business tonight". The server immediately was shook out of autopilot, apologized, and seated us at a clean table in which I then praised the waiter for helping us out.

So I typically make the comment short, blunt, and a bit polarizing said in a very unemotional matter-of-fact way way and in my experience a lot of times service workers will respect you more and work harder not to slight you again... this can backfire though and requires some charm and finesse.

Regarding your Salsa Guy: Mirroring his disinterested body language, lack of eye contact, and low energy should help. He ignored you because he perceived you as attempting to leech value without being able to offer anything in return (even if you actually did have value to offer him, he didn't perceive any). Perhaps try introducing him to a pair of hot girls he hasn't met the next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

-Rob

 

[readjusting]

He was pretty extreme but he'd basically just bluntly criticize their mistake and insinuate they were losers in life. Though he was incredibly nice and well mannered when receiving good service. (Operant conditioning)

+1

 

[andersen09]

So I typically make the comment short, blunt, and a bit polarizing said in a very unemotional matter-of-fact way way and in my experience a lot of times service workers will respect you more and work harder not to slight you again... this can backfire though and requires some charm and finesse.

Great, thanks!