Outclassed with chicks compliance request

[weekendwarrior]

This chick outclassed me, game level 10,000! I was dropping her of after a night club, for context I've known her a while but we've only ever made out.

I pull up outside of her flat and she asks if I'm getting out of the car to say bye. I think this must be her plausible deniability to get me out the car and into the flat, so I say sure let's go. She starts talking a bit and then proclaims she isn't inviting me into the flat, this is just to say bye. She gave a lame excuse that the flat was a state or she'd invite me in.

I figured this was a test so I opt to tease that I'll stay in the car where it's warm, flashing my eyebrows with a big grin letting her know that I'm not being serious. She flips out saying oh, so you only wanted to come when you thought I was inviting you in. It seems like she's half joking so I laugh it off as a joke and now I feel like I'm stuck having to accept her compliance request to get out the car to say bye.

I thought this was still a test and if I don't look affected by it and get out the car I can keep in set and turn this around. I get out the car to say bye, we talk for a while, I start to physically escalate and then kiss her, just before we get to the point of no return, she stops me from escalating. She's always been turned on by my dominance, she melted to the manhandle kiss, she was clearly enjoying it but slammed the breaks on. She has been slamming the breaks on since the night I met her. I'm clearly parked in the boyfriend zone!

Warrior

 

[Beck Bass]

She flips out saying oh, so you only wanted to come when you thought I was inviting you in.

That's the point where you double down... Or just play it cool, and risk losing the lay. Anyway, you're risking the lay, either by going all in, or by stalling. In your case I suppose you kinda stayed unreactive, which is a great way to handle tests almost always.

I'm stuck having to accept her compliance request to get out the car to say bye.

Yup once you have your frame stuck like that, you kinda have to stick to it, make her frame fit into yours. If you give in easily, she'll lose attraction.

I thought this was still a test and if I don't look affected by it and get out the car I can keep in set and turn this around.

I think you read that right for the most part. What women say verbally has nothing to do with the actual game/reality/whatever is really going on. All she did until there was give you a window to escalate, you got out of the car and did. A different way to handle this would be escalating on the car itself, maybe that's part of what she had in mind. Does she lives by herself? Maybe this was a logistic problem and she didn't want to say it directly.

She has been slamming the breaks on since the night I met her. I'm clearly parked in the boyfriend zone!

Yeah, can be. The fact that you see her all the time doesn't help, she feels like you're a "known factor", a constant in her life, in a sense, so you're too available and likely you have other social ties, so that doesn't help you becoming a lover. Also, if it was to be a quick lay, it would have happened already, now she kinda HAS to put you in the boyfriend zone, otherwise she feels slutty. That doesn't mean sex isn't happening and she really expects a relationship right away, but it does mean you have a lot more work to do than if you striked harder faster.

 

[weekendwarrior]

Thanks @Beck Bass this chick lives in a block of student flats with about one hundred other students, there's about 7 – 10 per floor and I don't know who her neighbours are or if she gets on with them.

This is the same chick that framed it that a creepy guy was trying to invite himself into her flat before, I tried escalating in the car that night and she quickly got out the car at a certain point, it was a very abrupt bye so I didn't bother arranging another date after this failed escalation attempt. I assumed she wasn't interested in escalating in the car because of this so hoped this was her plausible deniability to invite me in.

I understand how I'm a known factor and the quick lay has gone causing these social roadblocks, but I couldn't have pushed any harder any faster. I tried to get her in bed the first night we met, she lived outside of town, was staying with her friend and wouldn't leave her. I tried but had to settle for the number close.

Every week from this she's been staying with her friend, another friend was staying in her flat recently and she's been very awkward setting up dates, it took months to get her out. Although it was a first date, we'd been hanging out so much, without the friends and her now having her own flat made me think I could push for the lay (car escalation) which got slammed down.

I think she's extremely inexperienced based on how she's been acting, she's tried to bring up the relationship talk multiple times but always bottles it.

Warrior

 

[StrayDog]

I pull up outside of her flat and she asks if I'm getting out of the car to say bye. I think this must be her plausible deniability to get me out the car and into the flat, so I say sure let's go.

I assumed she wasn't interested in escalating in the car because of this so hoped this was her plausible deniability to invite me in.

This is your first mistake. Unless a woman is next level attracted to you she is not going to be coming up with plausible deniability. That is your job. Not hers. This is a seed you should have been tending to well before you were dropping her off at the end of the night. an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

How did you run the date up until this point? That counts for a lot here. Sounds like there is already poor precedence by the time you even went on the date. Failed escalation attempts. Months before ever getting her out on the date proper. By the time you have the date, the whole thing has low momentum. If the date doesn't somehow pattern interrupt, and create a new precedence that is exciting and seductive, then the date itself will feel predictable.

I was dropping her of after a night club

How intimate was the club as a setting for a date? What was the decision for this venue over others?

 

[weekendwarrior]

@StrayDog I don't know where to start on this one. Not to sound deluded but despite what it sounds like this chick is next level attracted to me. Her friend was telling my wing that she's obsessed, she has other guys interested in her but none of them compare to me so she dismisses them, it's like I've alpha widowed her without fucking her (another reason I feel she's very inexperienced). I've seen some of the other guys that are chasing her and there's no competition, just very poor fundamentals and they've even professed their love for her, so they don't have game and are badly chasing her following her around like a lost puppy. They're in the friend zone, she ditches them to run over to me and even makes out with me in front of them and they tolerate it!

I didn't seed pulling her because she was out with her friend in the club that she usually stays with when she's out, I've never been able to isolate her in this set up, it's never worked previously and trust me I've tried. I didn't want yet another failed attempt creating further bad past precedent. I didn't even expect to be dropping her off, I thought she'd be staying with her friend instead of going home. She set a frame that creepy guys try to go back into her flat and stopped me from escalating in the car the time previous (after the date - link in response above) leaving me in no man's land trying to figure out how to push this forward and hoped when she asked if I'd get out the car this was the opportunity.

The parts you quoted wasn't from the date, it was from bumping into her in a club a few weeks after the date. She apologised for how "bad" the date was and how awkward she was because she was shitting herself, so she put a lot of pressure on herself for the date (another reason I believe she's very inexperienced and it suggests she is really attracted to me to do this).

The club was fairly intimate, but this wasn't a date, I'd never run a date in a club, we just run into each other. The date a few weeks previous was in a small bar, it wasn't the best date ever, but it wasn't that bad. She was extremely nervous, so I built comfort, it all seemed to be going well until she framed it that creepy guys try to get into her flat with her and I didn't know how to break the frame. She's out gamed me every step of the way slamming on the breaks.

There is a lot of poor precedent, I will make a separate post for this.

Warrior