Overcoming the Fear of Cold Approaching

[wbpua]

Hey guys. Rant incoming. Read it or don’t.

I’m a long team reader of GC, and long time consumer of PUA material. Probably spent upwards of a few thousands on courses, books, and whatnot. But that’s all I’ve done.. I’ve taken so little action it’s embarrassing. It’s pathetic, really. Sure, I get laid, frequently, and fairly easily, but not by any top tier women as far as I’m concerned. I use Tinder and online dating apps, exclusively. I go on dates, and I’m pretty decent at it, but…

I am seriously fucking frustrated. I am AWFUL at cold approaching, like really fucking awful. I look good. I get a lot of attention from women, but I just can’t seem to grow a pair of frigging balls and approach, even when the IOS are blaringly fucking obvious. On top of that, I am also a Caucasian guy, living in Asia (easy pickings). I look good, I’m in excellent shape, I have good sense of style, I am living the dream. I make more money than the average CEO. I travel wherever I want, I do whatever I want, and just live an all around amazing life. High value guy all around.

BUT, I still don’t have any amazing women in my life. Nope, none. Like no 7.5-8+. And it really gets to me. I just find it really really hard to even go up to a woman and just say hi. No matter how attractive or unattractive she might be, and no matter if she gives me a thousand of IOS. Like, I tend think to myself, “what the fuck am I supposed to say? What if I say hi, and then ask her a question or something, and then have no clue what to say next and just stand there like an awkward fucking moron. What then? What the fuck are you going to do then??” And then, I just don’t do it. Pathetic.

Either that, or on some days, when I feel like I’m at the top of the world, it’s more like, “whatever, I don’t even need her / She’s not good enough (even if the girl is fucking attractive) / meh, not know, she’s cute but whatever. Just approach her later.” Or any other BS excuse.

I THINK my biggest “fear” is to run out of things to say, or to just to end up in an awkward conversation where I don’t know what to say or where to take it. Like, I am really the perfectionist kind of person. Lol… and I have that fear even though I haven’t even ventured into the domain of actually approaching women. Rationalizing 2.0?

I am also a huge self-improvement junkie. I know all about what it takes to succeed at something, and I know that you need to get yourself out there, fail, again and again, and then fail some more. I know this and I embrace this in virtually any other aspect of my life. In fact, many times I kind of enjoy it, I fail and I don’t care about it. I enjoy the struggle.

But, not in the domain of seduction/PU…

So, my big question to you guys, if you’ve bothered to read through my little rant above (good job btw and thank you), what the fuck should I do? I just want an action plan. I want to stop pussing out, once and for all. How do I cut the excuses, swallow my pride and fear, and just fucking start to take action and COLD APPROACH? I see beautiful women sooo often, and it makes me sick to my stomach every time I let them pass by without doing anything about it.

Consider the fact that I’m a very very busy man, so it’s not like I can spend hours per day on this. It’s more like I want to be able to approach women when I am out and about during the day. Or when going to the occasional club/party.

Feel free to just tell me what a fucking moron or pussy I am. Laugh at me. Tell me I suck.

Thanks for reading. Much love.

 

[foggy]

First step:

Say hi to 1 girl as you're walking by her on the street. Don't stop, continue walking. Think you can do that?

 

[Start_ed_young]

Hey wbpua,

There is a lot of stuff on this website protaining to approach anxiety. I’ve put what worked for me on a thread recently here is a link:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=18333

My response In there is basically about how you can use cold shawers to rewire you mind to stand up to your fears ( ie approaching women) before this though, there were many changes in my mindset about how the world worked that enabled me to start approaching women and not care.

Two more notes,
1. It’s way easier when on vacation where there is like 0% chance of ever seeing this girl again if you don’t want too, so she doesn’t fucking matter one bit.
2. Another thing you can do if you have friend a that are into approaching women, is go out with them and tell them if you don’t approach this many girls, you owe them (whatever) This can be helpful in more way than one. One of you respect the guys your with, it’s a bit of peer pressure, and then there is also the material consequence that you’ll lose the money you pay for the drink you owe them if you don’t do it.

I don’t have much time rn, but if you pm me later I’ll tell you more about the mindset change that enabled me to cold approach like it was nothing. It first I strongly advise you to read the whole thread I linked above and also, do give everything I wrote a shot, both in this post and the one I made I the igher thread.

Hope something here helps

Good luck!
Young