- Joined
- Dec 6, 2012
- Messages
- 1,458
I wanted to see if anyone else here has had this type of situation happen to them:
You're alone with a girl you've just met and you're getting frisky. Clothes are coming off and it's clear she wants sex, and you've also been working hard to make sex happen that night (after a first or second date, or maybe you just met thirty minutes ago). She's naked and you're either very hard or just moderately hard. You're exploring each others bodies and she might be giving you a BJ, or a HJ, but soon enough she wants you inside of her, now. You're still hard, but then as soon as you go for the condom and begin to put it on, you feel yourself going soft as you're rolling it down the shaft.
There's a feeling of anxiety preceding the condom--I better hurry and put this on before I lose it! What if I lose it? What's going to happen? Am I going to disappoint her?
And then, no matter what you physically do, you can't keep it alive and your first thought is freaking out--oh no, why is this happening now? You try to put it on faster and move for sex but it's too late, it's too soft now to go in. You feel a deep sense of regret inside and you don't know what to say. Maybe she'll get sent into autorejection and try to make sense of what just happened, but you just went into a panic attack and she can see and sense that, and now instead of sexual tension there's just awkwardness and a feeling of being let down on both sides. You feel vulnerable and sad.
----
This situation has been happening to me for a very long time, since the time I started having sex. It's interesting to note that this only happens with girls I don't know that well--one night stands or first date lay attempts. With a girl I've been seeing for a while and have some mental attraction and attachment to, I rarely ever lose an erection with or without a condom; with other girls, it's too easy to lose it, it's hard to keep it sometimes, and I go into a panic attack when this happens because I feel deep inside like I just disappointed her and I'll probably never see her again, because I wasn't able to show her that I can make her feel really good with my manhood.
Sometimes this happens without a condom also--as soon as I move for penetration I begin to lose the feeling of being hard. The unifying factor seems to be with girls I don't know or feel connected to/attached to mentally. This is a problem, as I truly don't want attachment, but seems I can't have sex properly without it sometimes.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you found resolutions or ways to change your inner mentality? How have you dealt with or resolved this?
You're alone with a girl you've just met and you're getting frisky. Clothes are coming off and it's clear she wants sex, and you've also been working hard to make sex happen that night (after a first or second date, or maybe you just met thirty minutes ago). She's naked and you're either very hard or just moderately hard. You're exploring each others bodies and she might be giving you a BJ, or a HJ, but soon enough she wants you inside of her, now. You're still hard, but then as soon as you go for the condom and begin to put it on, you feel yourself going soft as you're rolling it down the shaft.
There's a feeling of anxiety preceding the condom--I better hurry and put this on before I lose it! What if I lose it? What's going to happen? Am I going to disappoint her?
And then, no matter what you physically do, you can't keep it alive and your first thought is freaking out--oh no, why is this happening now? You try to put it on faster and move for sex but it's too late, it's too soft now to go in. You feel a deep sense of regret inside and you don't know what to say. Maybe she'll get sent into autorejection and try to make sense of what just happened, but you just went into a panic attack and she can see and sense that, and now instead of sexual tension there's just awkwardness and a feeling of being let down on both sides. You feel vulnerable and sad.
----
This situation has been happening to me for a very long time, since the time I started having sex. It's interesting to note that this only happens with girls I don't know that well--one night stands or first date lay attempts. With a girl I've been seeing for a while and have some mental attraction and attachment to, I rarely ever lose an erection with or without a condom; with other girls, it's too easy to lose it, it's hard to keep it sometimes, and I go into a panic attack when this happens because I feel deep inside like I just disappointed her and I'll probably never see her again, because I wasn't able to show her that I can make her feel really good with my manhood.
Sometimes this happens without a condom also--as soon as I move for penetration I begin to lose the feeling of being hard. The unifying factor seems to be with girls I don't know or feel connected to/attached to mentally. This is a problem, as I truly don't want attachment, but seems I can't have sex properly without it sometimes.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you found resolutions or ways to change your inner mentality? How have you dealt with or resolved this?
