Saturday, April 9 event
Fashion: I got dressed really sharp. A nice pair of blue jeans pants with a button-down long sleeve shirt, and my jewelry chain, watch, and other arm jewelry.
Transportation to the event: The party started at 9PM and I almost stayed home, to be honest. I live in a community that is considered middle class. I think over the years there are more poor people living in this neighborhood, however, for the most part, people have a car. The buses run through and lots of people still take them. However, transport is unreliable. I could end up waiting between 30 mins to 3 hours at my gate to catch a bus to go to the city. And at night, getting a bus is almost impossible.
However, taxis run to the city but I have to walk on the main road of my community ( 7 minutes walk ). It is kind of dangerous to walk especially with jewelry. In 2018, I was almost held up at gunpoint by some bike riders and I had to jump over a few neighbor's fences to escape violence. Anyway, I take the walk and hoped for the best. The first couple steps I take, a nice Mercedes Benz GLE Coupe drives right past me. Immediately I feel depressed. Damn my dream car just passed me. And a few other BMW and Audi pass me as I walk up the road. All I want is some damn money so I can buy the things I like.
www.mbusa.com
Taxi Conversation: It is 7:50 PM and I make it up the road safely and get in a taxi. The taxi driver holds a conversation about a cheap passenger who always shorts his cab money. We talk a little about sales and cheap people and in about 15 minutes, I was in the major city. (See why I hate the bus. If I had waited, I would still be at my gate feeling like a sore loser and I would have probably changed my clothes and stayed the fuck home). Yeah, I could have called a private taxi, but the cost would be $6 USD. While the taxi or bus costs $1 USD.
The government ensured this party is in the center of the city since they recently removed COVID restrictions. I went straight to purchase the early bird ticket for $10 USD. Then I got some food at a nearby restaurant for $2.40 USD. A few ladies had arrived to the party but most people had not gone in as yet. They had a rule, once you go inside, if you come out for even a minute, you have to buy a new ticket. So everyone is stalling until a larger crowd comes. So I walk around the city for 30-45 minutes not talking to anyone. I just window shopped.
I entered the party by 9:17PM. The major sports event had ended and the beautiful ladies were coming out. I would estimate about 100 young ladies were at the party by 9:30PM. The party started off with some simple '90s RNB music to get the mood nice and chill.
Standing position: I wanted to be able to see the room. So I stood at the back of the party (it's an open car lot surrounded by walls on all sides). The bathroom stalls were right behind me.
Music Loudness: Damn the DJ's were making any conversation impossible. The music was so loud, no one could have a conversation. Here I am with beautiful women in the party and I cannot even cold approach. If I did, I would have to start off the conversation by holding their ears and shouting down it. And who really wants to talk to a stranger by shouting in their ears? I think this is only acceptable when asking for directions somewhere.
Damn this girl is fine. She was standing next to the bar. Big booty, medium-sized boobs OMG. She looks like the girl in this music video:
Look at the waist to butt ratio in that video, yeah that's how hot she is. And she had a cute face too. So she was standing at the bar by herself, dancing and pouring her liquor. The bar is basically a table with the servers on the other end and we stand there to order drinks.
Walk-Up approach: I froze for a moment due to approach anxiety. What I did was to get a cup of ice (free) and then stand beside her rocking. Then I froze again for 1-2 minutes.
Conversation: Again, the music is so loud, that conversation is impossible without shouting down a woman's ear. So I tried something for the first time. I open a notepad on my phone and type out what I wanted to say.
Troy: (on notepad) Hi you are beautiful having a good night? (then I tap her on the shoulder and smile then show her the message)
Girl: (smiles and I think she said thanks. But the music is so loud I cannot hear so I am just reading her lips)
Troy: ( I stand there awkwardly for 20 seconds typing the next message on my phone. It reads...) "Planning on slapping anyone with that booty tonight like how Will Smith slapped Chris Rock? Lol"
Girl: (reads the message and immediately disapproves it by flashing her hand to say no.
Troy: (I shout a the top of my lungs) It's a joke lol
Girl:. She turns her back to me and picks up her drink then turns back facing the party.
Troy: (I touch her shoulder and attempt to shout down her ears, but she could not hear me and I just backed off. She seemed annoyed)
..............................................................................
And so I walked off. Damn, I want to whoop myself now for making up that corny joke on the spot. Ok to be fair, in my culture, the most common dance at parties between men and women is grinding and wining. So when the party got heated, I expected all the ladies to be slapping that booty and wining up on some random guy in the party. That's why I thought it would be a good joke. It was risky for sure, but still relevant to the culture. It's not like I said, "fuck any guys tonight".
I went right back to my first spot near the bathrooms. I could see everyone as they entered the party. I picked this spot because I would be able to see most people without having to turn my head too much and come across as that weird staring guy. I had a cup in my hand with nice and water to make it appear I had a drink. Let me talk about that for a moment because these prices are ridiculous:
Smirnoff in a small plastic cup $5 USD
Apple Vodka $40 USD
Other Vodka bottles $186 USD
First off, the $5 is just a little bit of Smirnoff. See this is the reason the word "money" comes out so much in my posts. Everything in dating has some cost to it. And one of the biggest problems, when I go out, is the cost of items vs. my salary. I ain't got $40 USD to spend on one bottle of Vodka. And it would be cheaper to buy that instead of getting single $5 cups at the bar.
I settle with getting free ice in cups with water for the rest of the night to make it appear I had a drink.
First off, I cannot dance to save my life. And because I spend so much time working on my finances, I am a bit out of touch with the music lyrics. From 10AM to 2PM we had the DJ playing his tunes. To be fair, most ladies were not dancing. They just stood around looking at the stage. Some of them were even texting on their phones to how boring the show was. BORING AND LOUD. Ok not entirely boring, but just flat. A few guys in the crowd who could dance really well were doing their dance.
2AM had come and I was tired. I have not been in a party for 2+ years so I am rusty at staying up all night. I take a seat on the steps at the back of the party just overlooking everyone else. By 2:17AM, I was hungry and I decided to go buy hotdogs. Damn another money issue.
Hotdogs $4 USD
Thought 1: Ok Troy, it's only $4 USD, stop being a cheap ass
Thought 2: Yeah but you know a hotdog cannot full your belly. You would need to buy 8-12 hotdogs to be full. Are you going to spend $32 - 48 USD on hotdogs?
Thought 1: I have credit card debt to pay off.
Thought 2: Yeah and you need to invest more in personal development and get clients so you can grow your income and stop worrying about $4 hotdogs.
........................
Ok so I end up buying just one hotdog from the hotdog lady. In less than 90 seconds, I had eaten the hotdog and I was still starving. Fuck! The other food in the venue was no better. Chicken with bread roles for $6 USD. And I eat a lot so in order for my belly to be full, I would need to order 3-5 of those and spend $18-30 USD.
At around 10:30PM, 2 girls approached me. The dark girl was quite cute and she asked me "Is the bathroom free?". I said yes and I guided her to the door opening. The doors were turned towards the wall and they thought I was the security guard. I don't know why, but people see me going about my business and they immediately think I am someone of power. Eg I go to a nightclub and people think I work there or have some authority. Or I go to a shopping mall and people think I work there. Maybe my vibe is giving off authority vibes. I don't know if these girls were giving approach invitations or just asking for the bathroom.
I decided to go closer to the stage. The music artists were starting to perform and everyone was getting closer to the stage. The promoters ensured to bring the music artists in by popularity (least to most). For this 2 and a half hours, here is what I experienced and realized:
1. The music genre in my country has become more explicit. There are popular songs now talking about "cum in my throat" or "dick in my tonsels" or "cum on my face". I honestly felt shocked by what I was seeing and hearing. Young female artists creating these songs and hundreds of young ladies in the crowd singing along. Here are 2 lyrics I saw women singing to:
"come on my face baby"
"dick slapping out my throat hole"
I know the music in my country is explicit. But it seems over the past 2 years of the pandemic, music artists have become even more graphic. And this is having a great influence on young ladies. If this is what the ladies are singing to and are proud of it, I can only imagine what they do in the bedroom with guys they consider alpha. This threw off my mood to be honest. I have not yet experienced a woman giving raw sloppy head and swallowing my cum. Yet here are these hundreds of women singing the lyrics. I bet most of them are doing freaky shit in the bedroom. After what I saw last night, ain't no woman going to tell me she wants to do blowjobs in condoms only again. Swallow this nut from now on ladies. That's my standard.
2. The way the ladies reacted to the male musical artists, shows me how women can be highly interested in some guys. I stood close to the stage and women were fighting over each other to touch the male artists.
3. I felt emasculated when popular rich male artists came on stage and talked things like:
- Every girl wants a real bad man that fires guns every day
- If you don't have 5 women fucking the same time, you ain't a real man (this hurt because I am single)
- Some man in the crowd don't have a girlfriend. They are idiots
What made these statements worse was the women were getting more excited as the artists sang these songs and made these comments. I did enjoy parts of the performances, but by 5AM, I was partially in a bad mood after what I had seen and experienced.
It was 5:17AM and the party ended. There were 2 twin sisters right in front of me and they were sexy as hell. I made 2 attempts to approach but they failed.
First Approach Attempt On The Twins
Everyone walked out the party immediately after it ended. After I exited the gate, I sat on a railing that other guys were sitting on. And I waited till I saw these 2 girls. They walked past and I followed along, but not being obvious. I gained upon them. The issue now was about 15 guys that left the party who had motorbikes were in the streets performing stunts and the twins got excited. A lot of the ladies were jumping up and down and getting free quick rides with the guys. That threw me off as it was noisy and everyone was focused on the bikers.
The twins walked down the main street a few minutes later and I followed them along, still not making it obvious. I did not want to startle them. They did the unthinkable. They crossed the road and walked right back into the crowd to watch the biker guys. The entire time I ensured to not make eye contact with them because them it would seem like I was stalking them. I simply kept my head straight and made a 360 degree walk around the transport center and came back on the bike riding scene. The twins were nowhere to be found.
Second Approach: Black And Brown Girlfriends
The girls I talked about earlier who asked for the bathroom, I saw them again. They were watching the bike stunt guys and what I decided to do was to sit down on the side of the road. A few other guys were watching them as well and seated on the road too. And the girls were right behind on the sidewalk watching.
A few minutes go by and the girls walk off in the direction of my taxi stand. Awesome! They are going in my direction so I get up and walk towards my bus stand and I see the taxi they go in. Approach anxiety hits me again and I get in a taxi myself. While I waited for the driver to get more passengers, I decide to get up and go make the approach. The girls were in a taxi right across the road from me.
Troy: (opens my taxi door and walk over to the taxi the girls were in. I open the door) Hi ladies
Dark girl: Hello you coming in?
Troy: Hi the reason I came over here is because I saw you at the party and I think you are really beautiful
Dark girl: (smile) thanks
Troy: So you had a great time huh
Dark girl: Yeah, you are the guy from the bathroom stall
Troy: oh yeah (I look up as my taxi driver is loading his car)
Dark girl: Yeah I remember you
Troy: Yeah so which artist was your favorite?
Dark girl: (artist name)
Troy: Cool. The artist I really wanted to see was (I forgot his name and I paused for a moment) but he flew out huh
Dark girl: Skiggles?
Troy: Yeah him lol (the taxi driver for this car interrupts me. I forgot what he said but I ignored him). So what's your name?
Dark girl: Trish
Troy. Cool my name is Troy
Dark girl: nice to meet you Troy
Troy: So the reason I came over here is to let you know you are really pretty and I would love to take out (pause for 5 seconds)
Dark girl: I'm actually married
Troy: Really? lol you can just say no it's fine
Dark girl: No I am for real. I just spoke with my husband
Troy: Let me see your finger (flirt tone)
Dark girl: (clenches her fist to hide her finger. I can tell there is a 70% chance she is lying)
Troy: (looking at her brown friend) Are you married as well?
Brown girl: Yeah I am (100% lie. She just saying that to back her friend and it only confirmed more the dark girl is lying)
Troy: Ok cool well have a good rest of the morning (I close the car door and walk off)
..............................................
I do understand that young women in their early 20s can get married. But something about how they answered told me they were lying. She just wanted an easy way to let me down without directly saying no. Anyways I got in my taxi and came home. And I still had to walk that 7 minutes down my road. This is why I don't even feel inspired to be dating. Too many things are a hassle.
Troy
Intro
Fashion: I got dressed really sharp. A nice pair of blue jeans pants with a button-down long sleeve shirt, and my jewelry chain, watch, and other arm jewelry.
Transportation to the event: The party started at 9PM and I almost stayed home, to be honest. I live in a community that is considered middle class. I think over the years there are more poor people living in this neighborhood, however, for the most part, people have a car. The buses run through and lots of people still take them. However, transport is unreliable. I could end up waiting between 30 mins to 3 hours at my gate to catch a bus to go to the city. And at night, getting a bus is almost impossible.
However, taxis run to the city but I have to walk on the main road of my community ( 7 minutes walk ). It is kind of dangerous to walk especially with jewelry. In 2018, I was almost held up at gunpoint by some bike riders and I had to jump over a few neighbor's fences to escape violence. Anyway, I take the walk and hoped for the best. The first couple steps I take, a nice Mercedes Benz GLE Coupe drives right past me. Immediately I feel depressed. Damn my dream car just passed me. And a few other BMW and Audi pass me as I walk up the road. All I want is some damn money so I can buy the things I like.
AMG GLE Coupe SUV
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Taxi Conversation: It is 7:50 PM and I make it up the road safely and get in a taxi. The taxi driver holds a conversation about a cheap passenger who always shorts his cab money. We talk a little about sales and cheap people and in about 15 minutes, I was in the major city. (See why I hate the bus. If I had waited, I would still be at my gate feeling like a sore loser and I would have probably changed my clothes and stayed the fuck home). Yeah, I could have called a private taxi, but the cost would be $6 USD. While the taxi or bus costs $1 USD.
Before Entering The Party
The government ensured this party is in the center of the city since they recently removed COVID restrictions. I went straight to purchase the early bird ticket for $10 USD. Then I got some food at a nearby restaurant for $2.40 USD. A few ladies had arrived to the party but most people had not gone in as yet. They had a rule, once you go inside, if you come out for even a minute, you have to buy a new ticket. So everyone is stalling until a larger crowd comes. So I walk around the city for 30-45 minutes not talking to anyone. I just window shopped.
Entering The Party
I entered the party by 9:17PM. The major sports event had ended and the beautiful ladies were coming out. I would estimate about 100 young ladies were at the party by 9:30PM. The party started off with some simple '90s RNB music to get the mood nice and chill.
Standing position: I wanted to be able to see the room. So I stood at the back of the party (it's an open car lot surrounded by walls on all sides). The bathroom stalls were right behind me.
Music Loudness: Damn the DJ's were making any conversation impossible. The music was so loud, no one could have a conversation. Here I am with beautiful women in the party and I cannot even cold approach. If I did, I would have to start off the conversation by holding their ears and shouting down it. And who really wants to talk to a stranger by shouting in their ears? I think this is only acceptable when asking for directions somewhere.
First Approach: Dark Sexy Girl In Full White
Damn this girl is fine. She was standing next to the bar. Big booty, medium-sized boobs OMG. She looks like the girl in this music video:
Look at the waist to butt ratio in that video, yeah that's how hot she is. And she had a cute face too. So she was standing at the bar by herself, dancing and pouring her liquor. The bar is basically a table with the servers on the other end and we stand there to order drinks.
Walk-Up approach: I froze for a moment due to approach anxiety. What I did was to get a cup of ice (free) and then stand beside her rocking. Then I froze again for 1-2 minutes.
Conversation: Again, the music is so loud, that conversation is impossible without shouting down a woman's ear. So I tried something for the first time. I open a notepad on my phone and type out what I wanted to say.
Troy: (on notepad) Hi you are beautiful having a good night? (then I tap her on the shoulder and smile then show her the message)
Girl: (smiles and I think she said thanks. But the music is so loud I cannot hear so I am just reading her lips)
Troy: ( I stand there awkwardly for 20 seconds typing the next message on my phone. It reads...) "Planning on slapping anyone with that booty tonight like how Will Smith slapped Chris Rock? Lol"
Girl: (reads the message and immediately disapproves it by flashing her hand to say no.
Troy: (I shout a the top of my lungs) It's a joke lol
Girl:. She turns her back to me and picks up her drink then turns back facing the party.
Troy: (I touch her shoulder and attempt to shout down her ears, but she could not hear me and I just backed off. She seemed annoyed)
..............................................................................
And so I walked off. Damn, I want to whoop myself now for making up that corny joke on the spot. Ok to be fair, in my culture, the most common dance at parties between men and women is grinding and wining. So when the party got heated, I expected all the ladies to be slapping that booty and wining up on some random guy in the party. That's why I thought it would be a good joke. It was risky for sure, but still relevant to the culture. It's not like I said, "fuck any guys tonight".
Wallflower Moments From 10PM to 2:30AM
I went right back to my first spot near the bathrooms. I could see everyone as they entered the party. I picked this spot because I would be able to see most people without having to turn my head too much and come across as that weird staring guy. I had a cup in my hand with nice and water to make it appear I had a drink. Let me talk about that for a moment because these prices are ridiculous:
Smirnoff in a small plastic cup $5 USD
Apple Vodka $40 USD
Other Vodka bottles $186 USD
First off, the $5 is just a little bit of Smirnoff. See this is the reason the word "money" comes out so much in my posts. Everything in dating has some cost to it. And one of the biggest problems, when I go out, is the cost of items vs. my salary. I ain't got $40 USD to spend on one bottle of Vodka. And it would be cheaper to buy that instead of getting single $5 cups at the bar.
I settle with getting free ice in cups with water for the rest of the night to make it appear I had a drink.
Dancing Moments
First off, I cannot dance to save my life. And because I spend so much time working on my finances, I am a bit out of touch with the music lyrics. From 10AM to 2PM we had the DJ playing his tunes. To be fair, most ladies were not dancing. They just stood around looking at the stage. Some of them were even texting on their phones to how boring the show was. BORING AND LOUD. Ok not entirely boring, but just flat. A few guys in the crowd who could dance really well were doing their dance.
2AM had come and I was tired. I have not been in a party for 2+ years so I am rusty at staying up all night. I take a seat on the steps at the back of the party just overlooking everyone else. By 2:17AM, I was hungry and I decided to go buy hotdogs. Damn another money issue.
Hotdogs $4 USD
Thought 1: Ok Troy, it's only $4 USD, stop being a cheap ass
Thought 2: Yeah but you know a hotdog cannot full your belly. You would need to buy 8-12 hotdogs to be full. Are you going to spend $32 - 48 USD on hotdogs?
Thought 1: I have credit card debt to pay off.
Thought 2: Yeah and you need to invest more in personal development and get clients so you can grow your income and stop worrying about $4 hotdogs.
........................
Ok so I end up buying just one hotdog from the hotdog lady. In less than 90 seconds, I had eaten the hotdog and I was still starving. Fuck! The other food in the venue was no better. Chicken with bread roles for $6 USD. And I eat a lot so in order for my belly to be full, I would need to order 3-5 of those and spend $18-30 USD.
Approach Invitation: Black And Brown Girlfriends
At around 10:30PM, 2 girls approached me. The dark girl was quite cute and she asked me "Is the bathroom free?". I said yes and I guided her to the door opening. The doors were turned towards the wall and they thought I was the security guard. I don't know why, but people see me going about my business and they immediately think I am someone of power. Eg I go to a nightclub and people think I work there or have some authority. Or I go to a shopping mall and people think I work there. Maybe my vibe is giving off authority vibes. I don't know if these girls were giving approach invitations or just asking for the bathroom.
Remainder Of The Party 2:30PM - 5AM
I decided to go closer to the stage. The music artists were starting to perform and everyone was getting closer to the stage. The promoters ensured to bring the music artists in by popularity (least to most). For this 2 and a half hours, here is what I experienced and realized:
1. The music genre in my country has become more explicit. There are popular songs now talking about "cum in my throat" or "dick in my tonsels" or "cum on my face". I honestly felt shocked by what I was seeing and hearing. Young female artists creating these songs and hundreds of young ladies in the crowd singing along. Here are 2 lyrics I saw women singing to:
"come on my face baby"
"dick slapping out my throat hole"
I know the music in my country is explicit. But it seems over the past 2 years of the pandemic, music artists have become even more graphic. And this is having a great influence on young ladies. If this is what the ladies are singing to and are proud of it, I can only imagine what they do in the bedroom with guys they consider alpha. This threw off my mood to be honest. I have not yet experienced a woman giving raw sloppy head and swallowing my cum. Yet here are these hundreds of women singing the lyrics. I bet most of them are doing freaky shit in the bedroom. After what I saw last night, ain't no woman going to tell me she wants to do blowjobs in condoms only again. Swallow this nut from now on ladies. That's my standard.
2. The way the ladies reacted to the male musical artists, shows me how women can be highly interested in some guys. I stood close to the stage and women were fighting over each other to touch the male artists.
3. I felt emasculated when popular rich male artists came on stage and talked things like:
- Every girl wants a real bad man that fires guns every day
- If you don't have 5 women fucking the same time, you ain't a real man (this hurt because I am single)
- Some man in the crowd don't have a girlfriend. They are idiots
What made these statements worse was the women were getting more excited as the artists sang these songs and made these comments. I did enjoy parts of the performances, but by 5AM, I was partially in a bad mood after what I had seen and experienced.
After Party Approach Attempts
It was 5:17AM and the party ended. There were 2 twin sisters right in front of me and they were sexy as hell. I made 2 attempts to approach but they failed.
First Approach Attempt On The Twins
Everyone walked out the party immediately after it ended. After I exited the gate, I sat on a railing that other guys were sitting on. And I waited till I saw these 2 girls. They walked past and I followed along, but not being obvious. I gained upon them. The issue now was about 15 guys that left the party who had motorbikes were in the streets performing stunts and the twins got excited. A lot of the ladies were jumping up and down and getting free quick rides with the guys. That threw me off as it was noisy and everyone was focused on the bikers.
The twins walked down the main street a few minutes later and I followed them along, still not making it obvious. I did not want to startle them. They did the unthinkable. They crossed the road and walked right back into the crowd to watch the biker guys. The entire time I ensured to not make eye contact with them because them it would seem like I was stalking them. I simply kept my head straight and made a 360 degree walk around the transport center and came back on the bike riding scene. The twins were nowhere to be found.
Second Approach: Black And Brown Girlfriends
The girls I talked about earlier who asked for the bathroom, I saw them again. They were watching the bike stunt guys and what I decided to do was to sit down on the side of the road. A few other guys were watching them as well and seated on the road too. And the girls were right behind on the sidewalk watching.
A few minutes go by and the girls walk off in the direction of my taxi stand. Awesome! They are going in my direction so I get up and walk towards my bus stand and I see the taxi they go in. Approach anxiety hits me again and I get in a taxi myself. While I waited for the driver to get more passengers, I decide to get up and go make the approach. The girls were in a taxi right across the road from me.
Troy: (opens my taxi door and walk over to the taxi the girls were in. I open the door) Hi ladies
Dark girl: Hello you coming in?
Troy: Hi the reason I came over here is because I saw you at the party and I think you are really beautiful
Dark girl: (smile) thanks
Troy: So you had a great time huh
Dark girl: Yeah, you are the guy from the bathroom stall
Troy: oh yeah (I look up as my taxi driver is loading his car)
Dark girl: Yeah I remember you
Troy: Yeah so which artist was your favorite?
Dark girl: (artist name)
Troy: Cool. The artist I really wanted to see was (I forgot his name and I paused for a moment) but he flew out huh
Dark girl: Skiggles?
Troy: Yeah him lol (the taxi driver for this car interrupts me. I forgot what he said but I ignored him). So what's your name?
Dark girl: Trish
Troy. Cool my name is Troy
Dark girl: nice to meet you Troy
Troy: So the reason I came over here is to let you know you are really pretty and I would love to take out (pause for 5 seconds)
Dark girl: I'm actually married
Troy: Really? lol you can just say no it's fine
Dark girl: No I am for real. I just spoke with my husband
Troy: Let me see your finger (flirt tone)
Dark girl: (clenches her fist to hide her finger. I can tell there is a 70% chance she is lying)
Troy: (looking at her brown friend) Are you married as well?
Brown girl: Yeah I am (100% lie. She just saying that to back her friend and it only confirmed more the dark girl is lying)
Troy: Ok cool well have a good rest of the morning (I close the car door and walk off)
..............................................
I do understand that young women in their early 20s can get married. But something about how they answered told me they were lying. She just wanted an easy way to let me down without directly saying no. Anyways I got in my taxi and came home. And I still had to walk that 7 minutes down my road. This is why I don't even feel inspired to be dating. Too many things are a hassle.
Troy
