Phobia of flakes

[Spyce D]

I seems to have a phobia regarding flakes.

And it's been there since last 6-7 months .

And it makes me very nervous .

Like , I am having anxiety that tomorrow's date might flake .

Even though , anyone who I have shown the texts to have said that the girl is interested .

But I am having all these negative thoughts around it .

I remember when I used to feel the same about approaching .... And escalation .

But this Flake anxiety is the worst form of anxiety cuz I feel helpless here .

 

[Ambiance]

Flakes are normal. No matter how good you get, girls will still sometimes flake on you. It's just the nature of the game.

There are many things you can do to reduce the chances a flake will occur, mitigate the effects of a flake occurring, and even turn a flake into an advantage. Once you have a grasp on each of these, you will no longer fear flaking.

I'd recommend these articles:

How to Deal with Women Who Flake (and How to Prevent It)

Women flake for various reasons – not all of them having to do with you. However, there are steps you can take to avoid flaking… plus others you can use when flakes occur. One of the least fun experiences in game is when a woman flakes on your date. You have amped yourself up and carefully...

www.girlschase.com

Girls Flake Less as Your Value & Scarcity to Them RISES

Why do girls flake? Well, they wouldn’t flake if you were a super valuable guy they FEARED missing out on. Therein lies how to cut down girls’ flaking… Over on the forum, we had a member report that a girl bartender he’d known a while agreed to go out with him, only to later flake, saying she...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Adventurer]

Prevention : pre-date text, solid interactions, make the date low pressure for her (ie coffee/drinks/walk)

Cure : invite girls in a place you like to go by yourself, 15 min max away. That way even if they flake, you just watch youtube/text other girls for 1 hour or whatever

Flakes sucks. But they don't suck as much if you plan for it in advance

 

[orkie123]

I used to get that fear too. Still do sometimes if I've had a rough patch.

It's a combination of scarcity mentality + lack of internal confidence. The two go hand in hand.

Without experience/momentum, it can take a lot of time and effort to get a date/pull a girl that you like. So when it gets close to it, the fear of flaking isn't so much in the flake itself but the fact that it will take X amount of time again before you get another opportunity. Solution is to get more experience/momentum so that not all of your attention is on 1 or few girls.

The other part is not forgetting that the girl is also nervous. Sometimes girls even flake because their are too anxious to date. They also wonder "What if he doesn't like me?". It's a simple mind switch and easier said then done but always think in terms of "Will I like her?" rather than "Will she like me"? and in "If she doesn't like me, that's her loss". Don't get bitter or anything, and still use the opportunity for self-reflection if there was anything you can improve, but don't take it personal.

 

[Teevster]

You are not alone.

Why I stuck to nightgame

Not really a phobia in the strong sense, just a real dislike for flakes, especially last minute ones. Kills your day and mood.

-Teevster

 

[DarkKnight]

If it helps I tend to meet girls in venues or places where if a girl flakes I can easily meet another. I am not afraid of flakes as hurt feelings or whatever but I am wary of losing social momentum so I have always plan A B C D and at the very least I can meet someone else or just have a fun night.

Structing your life like this prevents a lot of disappointment and loss of momentum

 

[Will_V]

I think you have to embrace it a bit, the same way a gambler embraces his luck, or a sailor embraces the uncertain seas.

And I believe it is a man's ability to deal with uncertainty that provides women with the strongest impulsion to close the loops that he cannot.

 

[Spyce D]

Idk what to do other than increasing the number of sets I approach .

I only go on Sundays now .

From now , I will do 15-20 solid approaches , 2-4 contact .... every sunday .

Maybe only then this issue will be solved.



Cuz , it's possible that girl is genuinely busy or whatever but due to my own scarcity and Insecurity mindset , I am not able to keep my calm ( btw , I never show this to girl ) .

Tbh , flakes and rejection are taking me closer to success .

They show me my weaknesses to work on .

And right now , the biggest one is my own emotions .