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I had a guy asking me about picking up cashiers in a comment on one of my articles.
I’ll probably write a more fleshed-out article on the subject. I know it’s of interest to many guys.
However, I wanted to write something up on time-constrained pickups in general. This includes:
The general pattern is:
You’re coming in like a bit of a dervish, generally with a pretty strong energy, but NOT rushed.
You want charismatic energy, with a flirtatious delivery and a small awareness radius, so she feels you are closely focused on her and reciprocates. You’re making good use of mirror neurons here, where people behave toward you the way you behave toward them: if you’re very focused on her, smiling playfully, leaning in close, friendly, having a good time, she will tend to reciprocate unless she’s in a really bad mood (not much you can do about those girls except hope your chipper approach elevates her mood for her a bit so she isn’t having so much of a bad day).
So you move close to her, lean in a bit, throw a devilish smile on your face, and open her:
You are PURELY relying on fundamentals, vibe, and slick game to attract her enough that she’ll be open to meeting you later on for a date.
If your fundamentals are good, your vibe is flirtatious and confident, your awareness radius is small, and you use some good strong game:
Some of them may turn out to have time to stick around and have a lengthier conversation with you, in which case you can do some deep diving, have a more relaxed conversation, etc.
The rest of them will be running off, but you’ll have their contact and they’ll be thinking about that brief, memorable interaction during which you made a strong first impression all day.
Usually you are going to have some idea within the first 5-10 seconds whether it is going to go anywhere. Either she will be pretty drawn in by you or she won’t be. If she isn’t it’ll just be a platonic conversation – just a warm-up for you socially. If she is drawn in though, you can get dates from those a pretty high percentage of the time, and the girl will be pretty eager to meet up with you on a large chunk of those.
Chase
I’ll probably write a more fleshed-out article on the subject. I know it’s of interest to many guys.
However, I wanted to write something up on time-constrained pickups in general. This includes:
- Cashier girls where there’s a line of customers waiting, putting social pressure on you & her to keep it moving along
- Girls you meet waiting to cross at a traffic intersection, where the light will change and then you’ll both be moving, her possibly to somewhere she needs to get to soon
- Girls you meet waiting for a bus or train – even more especially if it’s a different bus or train than the one you’re waiting to board
- Girls who are in front of you in line for something, like at the coffee shop, where she is going to be finished paying before you are, and is likely to run off at that point
The general pattern is:
- See a girl you’d like to chat up & ask out
- Realize that the amount of time you have to do it is under a tight constraint
- So, if you want to get somewhere with her, whatever you do, you must do it QUICK
COMPONENTS OF THE APPROACH
Different guys are going to have different approaches to how they do this. However, the way I find it works best is when you can cram all these elements into a 1- or 2-minute quick conversation:- Energetic, focused, charismatic opener to hopefully hook her in immediately
- Close proximity with touch on her elbow, forearm, or upper arm right away
- Genuine compliment on a non-genetic quality of hers (i.e., a way she expresses herself)
- Tease her to get her laughing at herself + show her you do not take things too seriously
- Quick schedule check to see where she is off to / if you can get her to stick around
- If she can’t stick around, tell her she seems fun/cool, and propose a date to ask her out
You’re coming in like a bit of a dervish, generally with a pretty strong energy, but NOT rushed.
You want charismatic energy, with a flirtatious delivery and a small awareness radius, so she feels you are closely focused on her and reciprocates. You’re making good use of mirror neurons here, where people behave toward you the way you behave toward them: if you’re very focused on her, smiling playfully, leaning in close, friendly, having a good time, she will tend to reciprocate unless she’s in a really bad mood (not much you can do about those girls except hope your chipper approach elevates her mood for her a bit so she isn’t having so much of a bad day).
EXAMPLE APPROACH
Say you’re waiting in line at the coffee shop. There’s a cute girl just ahead of you. You’ve got about a minute before it’s her turn to order, then it’ll be your turn to order, then you’ll have another minute of waiting before she gets her order, then she’s gone.So you move close to her, lean in a bit, throw a devilish smile on your face, and open her:
YOU: So, you gonna order one of those new unpronounceable coffees?
HER: [laughs] No, which one is that?
YOU: Well, if I could pronounce it I would just say the name.
HER: [laughs]
YOU: That’s a nice scarf. It goes well with your boots. You have a good fashion sense.
HER: Thanks.
YOU: Yeah, I’m Chase. [take her hand, pull her so she’s turned around facing you]
HER: I’m Mae.
YOU: Mae. Nice name. So, you’re getting a coffee, then running off back to work?
HER: Yep.
YOU: [said with a sly smile] Very exciting.
HER: [laughs]
YOU: Where’s work? You the boss?
HER: Nope, just an underling!
[it’s her turn to order, which she cannot see because you’ve spun her around with her back to the barista]
YOU: [point behind her] Time to order.
[let her put her order in, then put your order in. If she’s interested, you should see her hovering around waiting for her order while keeping an eye on you, waiting for you to finish ordering. You can give her a little smile and wink midway through your order to keep her warmed up with a little nonverbal expressiveness. Once your order’s in, go sidle up right next to her]
YOU: Miss me while I was gone? Did you make any new friends?
HER: Nope, been here all by myself.
YOU: Didn’t get jealous about me talking to the barista, I hope. It was purely business.
HER: [laughs] Well I’m glad I didn’t have to go back there.
YOU: You know, if you want to keep me for a little bit, I might be persuaded to hang around the coffee shop once my order gets here to shoot the breeze a little longer.
HER: I’d love to but I have to get back to work.
YOU: You’re a very hard worker.
HER: [laughs] Well, I wouldn’t go that far…!
YOU: Tell you what, I’m having fun talking to you. There’s a really creative coffee shop a few blocks down I’d love to show you. Sometime when you can get away from work a bit longer.
HER: Okay. We could do that sometime.
YOU: Excellent. Let me get your contact info then.
[you exchange contact info, and her order arrives]
HER: I guess I’ll be off.
YOU: All right. Don’t work too hard.
HER: [laughs] I’ll try not to!
CUT OUT THE FAT, JUST DO THE NECESSARY STUFF
I’m the deep dive guy, but you notice we’re not trying to do any deep dives here.You are PURELY relying on fundamentals, vibe, and slick game to attract her enough that she’ll be open to meeting you later on for a date.
If your fundamentals are good, your vibe is flirtatious and confident, your awareness radius is small, and you use some good strong game:
- Some teases/humor
- Genuine non-genetic compliment
- Move her in a way that locks you in
- Get some compliance (hold her hand, tell her to turn around and order, etc.)
- Set frames that imply she’s chasing after you if the situation allows it
- Tell her she could persuade you to stick around and chat for a bit
- If she can’t stay, then propose a date and take her contact info
- Give her a little send-off as she’s leaving: “Don’t work too hard” if she’s returning to work, “Good luck on your mission” if she has an errand to run / something to buy, “Don’t let them pull all your teeth out” if she’s going to the dentist, etc.
Some of them may turn out to have time to stick around and have a lengthier conversation with you, in which case you can do some deep diving, have a more relaxed conversation, etc.
The rest of them will be running off, but you’ll have their contact and they’ll be thinking about that brief, memorable interaction during which you made a strong first impression all day.
Usually you are going to have some idea within the first 5-10 seconds whether it is going to go anywhere. Either she will be pretty drawn in by you or she won’t be. If she isn’t it’ll just be a platonic conversation – just a warm-up for you socially. If she is drawn in though, you can get dates from those a pretty high percentage of the time, and the girl will be pretty eager to meet up with you on a large chunk of those.
Chase
