plain rejection vs autorejection

[Geebs]

is there any way to tell the difference?

 

[Tyme2k]

Plain rejection is early in the interaction examples would be:

She has a bf
You don't display or offer any value
She's in a bad mood
You're miscalibrated, bad eye contact, tonality, approach etc.

Auto rejection is:

Coming off too high value and not bringing her to your level
Not giving her what she wanted SEX asap
Not being sexual, going for BF or provider
Chasing her

Make sense?

 

[Geebs]

So your saying that so long as there was some kind of interaction between a guy and a girl, and the girl suddenly changes her tune; it's auto-rejection. Isn't that very all emcompassing? Isn't it possible that a guy simply isn't a girl's physical type; that does happen from a guy's perspective. IE there are some girls that, no matter what they do, won't make me want them sexually despite my enjoying conversation with them.

Taking a perticular case as an example: a girl saying that she saw the time we spent together hanging out as being purely platonic and apologizes if she sent any mixed messages is auto-rejection. How would one go about reversing that and getting her ok with spending 1 on 1 time with me again.

 

[NarrowJ]

So your saying that so long as there was some kind of interaction between a guy and a girl

That's not exactly what he's saying. I think he was just giving some examples. I think there is somewhat of a grey area though too.

Taking a perticular case as an example: a girl saying that she saw the time we spent together hanging out as being purely platonic and apologizes if she sent any mixed messages is auto-rejection. How would one go about reversing that and getting her ok with spending 1 on 1 time with me again.

1. Not all auto-rejection can be fixed/reversed/etc. In fact, while you are not quite as dead in the water as you are with plain old rejection- it is still very unlikely you will ever be getting in those pants. Some reasons for auto-rejection make it worse than others. If you come off too high value, and don't qualify her enough- this is something that can be remedied, if you do it carefully. If you chase, that's about as bad as it gets in my opinion. Hard to turn the tables on that one. In my experience, it's harder to overcome when she views herself as superior to you socially.

2. Just going what she says here in your example - "she saw the time we spent together hanging out as being purely platonic and apologizes if she sent any mixed messages" - this isn't necessarily auto-rejection. It's possible she was skeptical from the start, and this is purely an excuse.



The way I'd distinguish between the two would be:

Plain rejection: not caused by your actions necessarily, she just doesn't view you as having enough value or maybe she has a bf or is just bitchy

Auto-rejection: definitely caused by an action or lack of action on your part, there was interaction of some sort that did not go the way she wanted it to (basically)

 

[Geebs]

1. Not all auto-rejection can be fixed/reversed/etc. In fact, while you are not quite as dead in the water as you are with plain old rejection- it is still very unlikely you will ever be getting in those pants. Some reasons for auto-rejection make it worse than others. If you come off too high value, and don't qualify her enough- this is something that can be remedied, if you do it carefully. If you chase, that's about as bad as it gets in my opinion. Hard to turn the tables on that one. In my experience, it's harder to overcome when she views herself as superior to you socially.

Well, this is my fear. I did fail to physically escalate and I did 'judge' her on her smoking habit.

But this is the other thing, I'm not exactly sure what qualifies as 'chasing'. I get that acting need, desperate and/or begging is chasing. But is saying what you want and expressing your intentions chasing? In other words, where is the line that once crossed will color actions as chasing.

2. Just going what she says here in your example - "she saw the time we spent together hanging out as being purely platonic and apologizes if she sent any mixed messages" - this isn't necessarily auto-rejection. It's possible she was skeptical from the start, and this is purely an excuse.

So plain rejection? But this is sorta what I'm getting at; how do you tell the difference?

Auto-rejection: definitely caused by an action or lack of action on your part, there was interaction of some sort that did not go the way she wanted it to (basically)

And the only way to figure out what you may have done/not done is to guess?

 

[Tyme2k]

WOW I just wrote the BEST reply to this and it logged me out during, now it's gone. I will try to remember, but damn I was in a flow.

This is definitely auto rejection. You connected to her and failed to escalate, she then justifies the interaction as plutonic.

I had a similar situation months ago with a girl.. I gamed her incredibly, had an incredible connection, but ended up getting cock blocked harder than you can believe right before I started escalating. She justified the interaction in the same way even though I KNOW for a fact she was attracted. Since then I have friendzoned her after realizing what happened. We have hung out and talked about the interaction, she remembers every little detail and highlights points where she had attraction spikes. This is not something you remember from a plutonic interaction that meant nothing.

Ever still, she will never admit it. I have enough experience to know what happened, where I FAILED and why she says what she says, even if she doesn't. Now all that said, attraction is still clearly there and I believe can be brought back in a specific rare situation. This situation appears to me as a party/group event where she sees my value and how women are clearly attracted to me. I would have to isolate in a seduction location, build IMMENSE amounts of sexual tension and escalate as soon as I see a window. I will still hit LMR, cut I feel as long as I reinitiated the original feelings and she could justify them as "new" or "it just happened" I would be able to do it. MOST likely this scenerio would not play out. This is completely unrealistic and would need tons of assistance from the universe to play out correctly. (I believe some shit is beyond our control and you will hear people in pickup talk about the "universe" which gives us lessons and throws challenges in our path while we pursue the meaning of life)

I since have moved on from this girl completely, even though we are friends, I invite her out every so often. I have had stronger connections, and slept with hotter higher value women than her, I now look back at our interaction as trivial and silly. I did however learn a ton about auto-rejection and missing escalation windows. It even happened to me after this with other girls, I learned and learned and now can share this information with others.

I suggest you move on and learn to game many girls. You will have so many interactions like this, and close calls until stuff starts to align and you *head slap* into the next level. Start by reading one of my beginner posts it should help you realize a few things.

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1563

 

[Tyme2k]

So plain rejection? But this is sorta what I'm getting at; how do you tell the difference?

Answered this and it's VERY clear. Read above.

And the only way to figure out what you may have done/not done is to guess?

Definitely not. Repeat the process wtih a new girl using knowledge you have obtained in this interaction. If I have not given you sufficient information above you will figure it out by pure EXPERIENCE.

Good luck.

 

[Geebs]

We have hung out and talked about the interaction, she remembers every little detail and highlights points where she had attraction spikes. This is not something you remember from a plutonic interaction that meant nothing.

Ever still, she will never admit it. I have enough experience to know what happened, where I FAILED and why she says what she says, even if she doesn't. Now all that said, attraction is still clearly there and I believe can be brought back in a specific rare situation.

How can she admit having attraction spikes but continue to maintain it's platonic? It makes absolutely no sense to me.

It blows my mind that feeling a great connection to someone is not enough for a woman to justify romantic interest; how can they label it as platonic given that it manifests to infrequently. I mean so what if the physical escalation doesn't manifest the first time; it'll happen the next. I get that this seems to be what happens in practice, but how can someone manage to pull such a thick veil over their heads.

But what's worse is to then go and avoid the guy in the future if it turns out that the guy is interested. Really, I'm flabbergasted.

 

[Flames]

Plain rejection is not meeting her requirements ie I dont like his cold and aloof attitude, because of real reasons, auto-rejection comes from assumptions, ie 'he's very cold and aloof, he doesn't like me. I don't like ppl who don't like me."

 

[Geebs]

Plain rejection is not meeting her requirements ie I dont like his cold and aloof attitude, because of real reasons, auto-rejection comes from assumptions, ie 'he's very cold and aloof, he doesn't like me. I don't like ppl who don't like me."

Are there any behavioral differences one can notice between these two, allowing to conclude which happened.

 

[Flames]

Plain rejection is not meeting her requirements ie I dont like his cold and aloof attitude, because of real reasons, auto-rejection comes from assumptions, ie 'he's very cold and aloof, he doesn't like me. I don't like ppl who don't like me."

Are there any behavioral differences one can notice between these two, allowing to conclude which happened.

Possibly though it's hard to say for sure, think of it as having a bad date vs not having a date at all, one shes decides that your not her type, the other she thinks your not interested. Essentially the result is the same, so it doesn't really matter how she acts.

 

[Geebs]

Plain rejection is not meeting her requirements ie I dont like his cold and aloof attitude, because of real reasons, auto-rejection comes from assumptions, ie 'he's very cold and aloof, he doesn't like me. I don't like ppl who don't like me."

Are there any behavioral differences one can notice between these two, allowing to conclude which happened.

Possibly though it's hard to say for sure, think of it as having a bad date vs not having a date at all, one shes decides that your not her type, the other she thinks your not interested. Essentially the result is the same, so it doesn't really matter how she acts.

well it matters in the sense that if it's auto-rejection one could try reversing it.