- Joined
- Nov 14, 2017
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- 315
Out at the closest megamall yesterday (Sat. Feb. 10), did 2.5 approaches. This recounts the third. (And reports are going up totally out-of-order.)
Whilst wandering the corridors, spotted a black girl, medium-toned, with her hair pulled into a bun at the very top. Average height, somewhat slim build. She was watching (I assume) her boy of about 7, who was some 4 to 6 feet off. Was contemplating opening her but wasn't decided on the opener and am still quite shy.
Wound up passing by her within a couple feet but don't think she saw me as she was distracted by her boy. Brief glimpse of her face, and notice these beautiful eyes that look like they slope down medially. (Reminded me of a peripheral network girl I could've fucked, who said she had "devil eyes.") Wanted to compliment them. Should have right then and there, but chickened; using opportunities on zero notice is a significant sticking point.
Some time passed as I checked other girls and talked to one (alas, turned out to be in high school, lol). By this time I had a McFlurry in hand, wandering again. Getting near closing time.
So anyway, IIR, I'm trying to quickly circle the diamond-shaped mall to re-cross some other girl I had been too chicken to just change direction for, and when I take a corner I notice pretty eyes is coming roughly my way. So I adjust my path slightly so as to actually pass close to her. Don't make any eye contact and she's somewhat distracted with her boy anyway. Just as I pass her I put my hand on her elbow (but she's wearing winter clothes).
That took a lot of courage, since I've had a strong fear of approaching girls while in semi-populated open spaces that have a "watched from afar" feeling, and also in this particular mall because it's the closest very large one so I don't want to be kicked out. (Mostly irrational fears.) This is also only my second time hitting on a girl when there's a kid with her; that has been a big fear.
She stops and we just look at each other a moment. I've tended to do this by default, but kind of like it. Confirms her attention, and creates a little tension. This girl seems more surprised than usual; definitely out of auto-pilot.
I may or may not have made some unmonitored null verbalization like "hey." I'm actually now of the opinion that I'd be better to not do that; would let the tension build a bit more, and make the first thing I say thoughtful. Should maybe throw in a very intentional building sexy smile in the meantime. Now that it's slowly becoming less impossible to approach, I should make a point of such things.
I'm not sure but I think I might have unconsciously given the beginnings of a sexy smile, and maybe that accounts for how she responded next. Surmise I'm much better with black girls, because I suspect that beneath years of garbage programming, some part of my brain innately knows how to seduce women, and that part is much more liable to come out by itself on ones I'm really attracted to.
The first real thing I said, used a pretty strong word, which I actually wouldn't really recommend, especially not with less than a week to Supplication Day. But kind of felt like it, and what the hell, sometimes trying something I think is bad surprises me.
"You have beautiful eyes."
This girl was in shock. It was almost amusing! She like breathed in with her mouth open, eyes widened, smiling. Looked like she utterly could not believe this was happening. Never had a girl respond like that before. Can't actually recall but I think she thanked me.
It was almost a turnaround, because usually it's me caught off-guard by doing an approach. But in these first few moments, I was in control and it was her who was in shock. Interesting dynamic.
I let it linger a few moments, and with I'd say pretty good timing, continued, "Tell me your name." This time around I probably forgot to repeat her answer, and as a consequence I would actually forget it later. Not sure if I did the usual taking her hand and giving my name; I think I forgot! Could've been more touchy generally.
Asked if she's a student. Yes. In a couple recent approaches, I've had to ask their school in order to extract age range, so it got a bit habituated and I think I asked her this even though there was no need here. Or did I ask what she was studying? Or both? lol. Anyway, she studied "physiotherapy massage therapist." I beat myself up afterward for not using that to tremendous advantage!
The Blood-Red Arches
The girl had been stopped, but at this point started moving in her original direction. She didn't try to end the interaction or anything, she just went that way while still giving me attention. While for me the environment had mostly blanked out, I think that her kid was going off in that direction. Later I realized this was no wonder: the McDonald's was that way!! LOL. She actually seemed fairly willing to talk, but for being pressed by the kid.
I hadn't paid him much heed beyond a quick glance. I think she was actually paying him much less attention, too. I'm not really sure how to deal with a girl's kid. Maybe I should have engaged him more so he wouldn't leave, but on the other hand I'd be quite concerned of this giving her the wrong precedent. I didn't want to get slotted into potential BF.
Her starting to move was a disaster. On one hand I have a strong resistance to following a girl, being precisely the opposite of what should be happening. But OTOH, not moving with her threatened to kill the interaction.
This sounds like an excellent example of Seppuku's philosophy of, I'd rather lose the girl than lose my frame. Here, my frame would be, "I'm an attractive, desirable man that a girl will control her kid for the chance to talk to." This would suggest staying put and letting her walk away if she's going to. Unfortunately, while I was very conscious of how bad it was to follow her, I was too invested and allowed my frame to break, by doing so.
Worse, because I didn't really want to follow her, I did so hesitantly, and this probably made it seem even more like I was following her. In fact, her boy soon remarked, "he's following us!"
Oh, fuck, that screwed with my head! I didn't let on to that overtly, though, and we both mostly ignored his remark.
If I was going to go with her, I should've just gone ahead and done it as though it was a given that we were going to walk that way together. Or maybe even better, get ahead of her so it's like she's following me! (The latter seems almost nonsensical, but these things work on such a subliminal level it might've made a big difference.)
In spite of this horror, the girl wasn't particularly unfriendly. I actually think I could've pulled her if I hadn't have made key mistakes I've pointed out herein.
She explained that actually she had just finished school. My moxie having been taken away by the unfolding kinesic nightmare, I responded with a lame, "ah, so you're going to be a physiotherapist." She corrected that to someting or other like, "massage therapist."
This whole walking after her thing wasn't amusing to me, so IIR, I slowed down, she slowed down (possibly a good sign,) and I actually stopped, with her ultimately stopping also, and indicated that we both obviously had to go but we should grab a coffee. (Bad timing, I know, but I didn't foresee any better chance arising.) She looked somewhat away with a smile on her face. She exhaled and postured her body as if to say, "oh my God, I can't believe this is happening." She didn't actually say anything.
I was going for my phone but she had hers already and said something like, "here, you give me your number." Ordinarily I'd take this as a very bad sign, but in this case, her kid I think had gotten way ahead of her, and her phone was right at hand so this may have been a more practical matter than anything else.
Ideally, I should have taken her phone, put in my number, and hit dial, hahaha! (Got that from someone on here, can't recall who.) However, I don't remember this number, being that I only use it for game, and usually get a girl's number instead. So I went for my phone while remarking that I actually didn't recall the number since I'd just changed the damn thing. Pulled up the number and showed it to her to copy. I was just mildly shaking at the time LMAO.
I so should've just tried to get hers again on the excuse that I now had my phone out anyway, but by this time I was in beta auto-pilot, following her lead. After she took some time to copy it, she asked my name. Had to correct her even though it's common. Should've told her to call me right then. There's a decent chance she would have, and if she didn't, I was dead anyway so who cares? I was conscious of the need for her number, but I was by this time in beta decay and so took no action to actually get it.
We parted hurriedly as she had to chase after her son. I reversed direction, though my original purpose for going that way was by now long gone. In retrospect, breaking off at 45 to 90 degrees might have been smoother.
She seemed somewhat interested, so there's some tiny chance I'll hear from her, but given the plethora of mistakes, I'm not holding my breath.
Moral of the story: If you've opened a girl with a kid and there's a McDonald's in line-of-sight, within the first 30 seconds you have to suggest going for a quick snack at McDonald's!!!! LOL
Whilst wandering the corridors, spotted a black girl, medium-toned, with her hair pulled into a bun at the very top. Average height, somewhat slim build. She was watching (I assume) her boy of about 7, who was some 4 to 6 feet off. Was contemplating opening her but wasn't decided on the opener and am still quite shy.
Wound up passing by her within a couple feet but don't think she saw me as she was distracted by her boy. Brief glimpse of her face, and notice these beautiful eyes that look like they slope down medially. (Reminded me of a peripheral network girl I could've fucked, who said she had "devil eyes.") Wanted to compliment them. Should have right then and there, but chickened; using opportunities on zero notice is a significant sticking point.
Some time passed as I checked other girls and talked to one (alas, turned out to be in high school, lol). By this time I had a McFlurry in hand, wandering again. Getting near closing time.
So anyway, IIR, I'm trying to quickly circle the diamond-shaped mall to re-cross some other girl I had been too chicken to just change direction for, and when I take a corner I notice pretty eyes is coming roughly my way. So I adjust my path slightly so as to actually pass close to her. Don't make any eye contact and she's somewhat distracted with her boy anyway. Just as I pass her I put my hand on her elbow (but she's wearing winter clothes).
That took a lot of courage, since I've had a strong fear of approaching girls while in semi-populated open spaces that have a "watched from afar" feeling, and also in this particular mall because it's the closest very large one so I don't want to be kicked out. (Mostly irrational fears.) This is also only my second time hitting on a girl when there's a kid with her; that has been a big fear.
She stops and we just look at each other a moment. I've tended to do this by default, but kind of like it. Confirms her attention, and creates a little tension. This girl seems more surprised than usual; definitely out of auto-pilot.
I may or may not have made some unmonitored null verbalization like "hey." I'm actually now of the opinion that I'd be better to not do that; would let the tension build a bit more, and make the first thing I say thoughtful. Should maybe throw in a very intentional building sexy smile in the meantime. Now that it's slowly becoming less impossible to approach, I should make a point of such things.
I'm not sure but I think I might have unconsciously given the beginnings of a sexy smile, and maybe that accounts for how she responded next. Surmise I'm much better with black girls, because I suspect that beneath years of garbage programming, some part of my brain innately knows how to seduce women, and that part is much more liable to come out by itself on ones I'm really attracted to.
The first real thing I said, used a pretty strong word, which I actually wouldn't really recommend, especially not with less than a week to Supplication Day. But kind of felt like it, and what the hell, sometimes trying something I think is bad surprises me.
"You have beautiful eyes."
This girl was in shock. It was almost amusing! She like breathed in with her mouth open, eyes widened, smiling. Looked like she utterly could not believe this was happening. Never had a girl respond like that before. Can't actually recall but I think she thanked me.
It was almost a turnaround, because usually it's me caught off-guard by doing an approach. But in these first few moments, I was in control and it was her who was in shock. Interesting dynamic.
I let it linger a few moments, and with I'd say pretty good timing, continued, "Tell me your name." This time around I probably forgot to repeat her answer, and as a consequence I would actually forget it later. Not sure if I did the usual taking her hand and giving my name; I think I forgot! Could've been more touchy generally.
Asked if she's a student. Yes. In a couple recent approaches, I've had to ask their school in order to extract age range, so it got a bit habituated and I think I asked her this even though there was no need here. Or did I ask what she was studying? Or both? lol. Anyway, she studied "physiotherapy massage therapist." I beat myself up afterward for not using that to tremendous advantage!
The Blood-Red Arches
The girl had been stopped, but at this point started moving in her original direction. She didn't try to end the interaction or anything, she just went that way while still giving me attention. While for me the environment had mostly blanked out, I think that her kid was going off in that direction. Later I realized this was no wonder: the McDonald's was that way!! LOL. She actually seemed fairly willing to talk, but for being pressed by the kid.
I hadn't paid him much heed beyond a quick glance. I think she was actually paying him much less attention, too. I'm not really sure how to deal with a girl's kid. Maybe I should have engaged him more so he wouldn't leave, but on the other hand I'd be quite concerned of this giving her the wrong precedent. I didn't want to get slotted into potential BF.
Her starting to move was a disaster. On one hand I have a strong resistance to following a girl, being precisely the opposite of what should be happening. But OTOH, not moving with her threatened to kill the interaction.
This sounds like an excellent example of Seppuku's philosophy of, I'd rather lose the girl than lose my frame. Here, my frame would be, "I'm an attractive, desirable man that a girl will control her kid for the chance to talk to." This would suggest staying put and letting her walk away if she's going to. Unfortunately, while I was very conscious of how bad it was to follow her, I was too invested and allowed my frame to break, by doing so.
Worse, because I didn't really want to follow her, I did so hesitantly, and this probably made it seem even more like I was following her. In fact, her boy soon remarked, "he's following us!"
Oh, fuck, that screwed with my head! I didn't let on to that overtly, though, and we both mostly ignored his remark.
If I was going to go with her, I should've just gone ahead and done it as though it was a given that we were going to walk that way together. Or maybe even better, get ahead of her so it's like she's following me! (The latter seems almost nonsensical, but these things work on such a subliminal level it might've made a big difference.)
In spite of this horror, the girl wasn't particularly unfriendly. I actually think I could've pulled her if I hadn't have made key mistakes I've pointed out herein.
She explained that actually she had just finished school. My moxie having been taken away by the unfolding kinesic nightmare, I responded with a lame, "ah, so you're going to be a physiotherapist." She corrected that to someting or other like, "massage therapist."
This whole walking after her thing wasn't amusing to me, so IIR, I slowed down, she slowed down (possibly a good sign,) and I actually stopped, with her ultimately stopping also, and indicated that we both obviously had to go but we should grab a coffee. (Bad timing, I know, but I didn't foresee any better chance arising.) She looked somewhat away with a smile on her face. She exhaled and postured her body as if to say, "oh my God, I can't believe this is happening." She didn't actually say anything.
I was going for my phone but she had hers already and said something like, "here, you give me your number." Ordinarily I'd take this as a very bad sign, but in this case, her kid I think had gotten way ahead of her, and her phone was right at hand so this may have been a more practical matter than anything else.
Ideally, I should have taken her phone, put in my number, and hit dial, hahaha! (Got that from someone on here, can't recall who.) However, I don't remember this number, being that I only use it for game, and usually get a girl's number instead. So I went for my phone while remarking that I actually didn't recall the number since I'd just changed the damn thing. Pulled up the number and showed it to her to copy. I was just mildly shaking at the time LMAO.
I so should've just tried to get hers again on the excuse that I now had my phone out anyway, but by this time I was in beta auto-pilot, following her lead. After she took some time to copy it, she asked my name. Had to correct her even though it's common. Should've told her to call me right then. There's a decent chance she would have, and if she didn't, I was dead anyway so who cares? I was conscious of the need for her number, but I was by this time in beta decay and so took no action to actually get it.
We parted hurriedly as she had to chase after her son. I reversed direction, though my original purpose for going that way was by now long gone. In retrospect, breaking off at 45 to 90 degrees might have been smoother.
She seemed somewhat interested, so there's some tiny chance I'll hear from her, but given the plethora of mistakes, I'm not holding my breath.
Moral of the story: If you've opened a girl with a kid and there's a McDonald's in line-of-sight, within the first 30 seconds you have to suggest going for a quick snack at McDonald's!!!! LOL
