Calls & Texts Please help with text message problem.

[Anonymous]

Hi I really like this website but unfortunately I think I found it too late. I have recently come out of a long term 7 yr relationship 4 months ago, I met a girl in a bar and we got along we'll but I was so badly out of practise texting girls that I messed up. I'd like to resurrect if I can but not sure if all hope is lost, the experts seem to be on this site so hopefully someone can help? So I met the girl at 12:00 night in a bar, next day sunday at 2:30pm I sent this text (I know his is really bad now on reflection):

"Hi Jane, it's John from last night. It was really nice to meet you. Hope you're well. Sorry we didn't have chance to chat a bit more. We could do coffee at .... maybe? Is the evening of tomorrow or Tuesday any good for you?" ...then I panicked and my friend said send another from the heart, I sent this on Monday at around 7:00 ... On reelection this is where it gets terrible because I thought I needs to describe what kind of person I am "hi, I don't know how I came across on Saturday. I'm into my spiritual side and wanted to talk more on Saturday but the music was too loud. I felt uneasy because you are the first person I've felt a connection with since splitting g up from a long term relationship 4 months ago. I believe we are all connected somehow and that we were meant o meet for some reason. I enjoy zen and Taoist philosophy books and am Aries with Aries moon. You reminded me Aries will struggle without heart and compassion, you are a caring person I can tell that from when we met. Hopefully we will meet again." ..... Ok so hopefully you can see how bad it was but I totally panicked when she didn't reply after a day! Is all hop lost, if anyone can suggest another text and when I send it, like before or after the weekend? Just wish I hadn't panicked so soon that first text might have had a chance.

Please, any advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[Franco]

This topic has been moved from "Tactics & Techniques" to "Phone Calls and Texting."

- Franco

 

[Tyme2k]

All right man This is gonna be a big chunk for you to digest.

1. It's never to late to find this site, just be glad you did.

2. Don't take any more advice from that friend on girls, he's a chode. Emotions and feelings are for you to spark in women not lay out to some random chick you met in a bar.

I come from a similar past as you, two back to back relationships of 4 years each, a total of 8 years committed to being a needy chode. I was immersed into the dating world and have lost hundreds of potential lays, but listen to the keyword there HUNDREDS, maybe even THOUSANDS. You should read my post on abundance and start learning the basics and fundamentals of game.

Give yourself goals and work towards them, pick up some hobbies and be social. If your relationships were like mine you probably aren't surrounded by people that will want to pick up gorgeous women.

 

[PinotNoir]

"[1] Hi Jane, it's John from last night. [2] It was really nice to meet you. [3] Hope you're well. [4] Sorry we didn't have chance to chat a bit more. [5] We could do coffee at .... maybe? [6] Is the evening of tomorrow or Tuesday any good for you?"

[1] This is great. Mentioned her name and yours. You could have maybe spiced it up a bit with punctuation ("Hi Jane!") and/or used more interesting wording ("howdy Jane. no, not a cowboy, but maybe an outlaw... <rest of message> -John") and/or what I personally like the best is mentioning something you talked about ("Hi Jane, fellow lover of Pinot Noir here from last night. <rest of message> -John").

[2] Fine. Again, could have used some other interesting wording. "really nice" sounds a bit chasey, drop the "really." This sentence also feels a little more friendly than sexy, like what you'd say after meeting a new friend.

[3] Not so good. You just met her, but already hoping she's well without knowing her really. However, if she had mentioned being sick or you built a strong connection, then probably fine.

[4] Not good. Don't apologize so soon. "Let's chat soon..." or "I want to pick your brain some more..." are better.

[5] Okay... the "maybe?" is bad. You're not showing confidence. You're not showing abundance.

[6] Fine. Easier is to just ask "when you free this week?" or "what's your schedule like in the next few days?"

Imagine a girl reading this. It reads like a very typical text that any guy would send.

Also, did she know that you wanted a date? Like when you got her # at the bar, did you compliment her or actually say "let's go on a date sometime"? If she didn't, then the above is very friendly and non-sexy. She doesn't know if just wanting to meet as friends or what.

Not a terrible message, but not good either. If you had built a big enough connection with strong emotions, I can see a girl at least responding to this if they're interested.

...then I panicked and my friend said send another from the heart, I sent this on Monday at around 7:00 ... On reelection this is where it gets terrible because I thought I needs to describe what kind of person I am "hi, I don't know how I came across on Saturday. I'm into my spiritual side and wanted to talk more on Saturday but the music was too loud. I felt uneasy because you are the first person I've felt a connection with since splitting g up from a long term relationship 4 months ago. I believe we are all connected somehow and that we were meant o meet for some reason. I enjoy zen and Taoist philosophy books and am Aries with Aries moon. You reminded me Aries will struggle without heart and compassion, you are a caring person I can tell that from when we met. Hopefully we will meet again." ..... Ok so hopefully you can see how bad it was but I totally panicked when she didn't reply after a day! Is all hop lost, if anyone can suggest another text and when I send it, like before or after the weekend? Just wish I hadn't panicked so soon that first text might have had a chance.

That's cool that you're into Taoist, etc.

This text is not good though. You're dumping all of this information after radio silence. She didn't ask for it. Again, you're chasing and trying to come off as high value.

Sorry man, think you're gonna have to axe this. Don't text/call. If she wants to respond, she'll send something. Start looking for new women.

The only shred of hope that I can give is that there are a few people without texting plans. Maybe you're lucky? I actually had this happen with one girl last year. I sent a few texts and never heard anything back. I thought it was done for. She was in college and working part-time too. My friends said that she probably didn't have a texting plan. I found this really hard to believe, but I called anyway and got an answer, and my friends were right. We went on a date too. This has to be extremely rare in this day and age though. But, if she mentioned being "broke" or "poor" or working a lot during your convo, then this could be the case. If you want to try calling though, only call once, and if she does not answer, feel free to leave a very simple carefree message. Don't reveal so much about yourself. Just say you found her beautiful and wondering when she's free so that you can take her out, but she'll need to call back as you're busy yourself in order to schedule a time free. Keep it short. Never call again after this.

Some reading material.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-do-when-girl-doesnt-text-back
https://www.girlschase.com/content/tactics-tuesdays-making-first-phone-call-girl
https://www.girlschase.com/category/category/phone-/-text-/-email

 

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much for your feedback, I think you're right - I need to axe this and move on. I have learnt from this, how not to do it hehe. I just want to get stuck into this forum now and get myself out there. I know I'll do much better next time. Thanks again.