Please offer insights.

[Stewie]

Gentleman, I am at a standstill, I need some tough love. I still can't beat my approach anxiety for day game. I have been lurking reading, and practicing ( on and off) for nearly 2 years now, and I still struggle with this. Put me in a social circle, no problem; party, no problem; college game, no problem, but I, for some reason, won't allow myself to grow in day game. I really like this type of skill, and it is the one I want to devote the most time to, but I need to get over this approach anxiety. At lunch I went out with the sole purpose of approaching five women ( I have this wager with myself that if I can approach 5 women, then I am making progress and ready to up the stakes), and not one of them did I even muster a hello to. I had opportunities but kept making excuses. What can I do gents, hell I know what I can do, I am just being too much of a pussy to not do it; I just read Chase's article "7 decisions everyman who will be successful makes" and it totally hit a nerve. I committed to most of them, but not all, and that's what I need. The two that I just seem to always be struggling with is Take Massive action and persist withou exception. I guess this is just me ranting in a way, but if there is anything that you guys could offer, please do. Thanks

Bests,
Stewie

 

[trashKENNUT]

Stewie,

Take some Chase's newbie lessons. YOu would not jump straight into approaches but it gives you steps to adjust yourself before you do the actual approach on the days later. Give it a shot.

Zac

 

[Franky]

I don't think Chase has a beating AA program which seriously undermines his authority. And no real time video showing his pick up skills doesn't help either. To the most pick up newbies, AA is the biggest problem. With AA, you can't do most of things Chase talked about in his book. For example, if you are nervous how do you do pre-opener which requires you to touch a new girl in the street in day time? if you can't even focus your mind how do you do deep dive?. The only way to beat AA is through elevated exposure. I believe most of people on this forum haven't beaten AA completely, i.e. you can open and touch a new girl 90% of the time anywhere any time. If you want to beat your AA google GLL. You can't beat AA by reading e-books or articles here.

 

[Smith]

Stewie,

I believe there are some good posts on here by other members of the forum on beating "AA". Daygame is especially hard if you're going out alone, and it's REALLY easy to get stuck in your own head. you'll know this when you start making excuses. The only way to prevent this is to be externally aware of your environment and people's mood. I've seen the GLL's AA programme. I felt it was a little too long and you do ridiculous stuff in some parts. But try it if u think it might help.

I like the Natural Lifestyle. although they don't have any AA programme, but I think their mindsets and infields are good. This is a video I used to watch whenever I felt like I was coming from the wrong place. Hope this helps.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6kh0qLBqXY

I don't know if u live in a big city (but even if you're in a small city), whatever happens is not gonna matter in six months or even a week.
Chances are the girl will simply forget about u, and u will also forget about her if ur still meeting new women.
And If u guys do bump into each other, u'll just smile at how funny it was when u opened her last month.
Just realize that having AA is not something to be ashamed about. Everyone has it from time to time, but usually the more experience you have, the less intense it is. If a guy stopped doing daygame for months, he's gonna feel intense AA as well, but once he's opened the first few girls, his experience will come back to him.

 

[nexus321]

Listen dude I'm going tell you what you need to do. Ready?
It's called a warmup. Go and ask 5 people what the time is. I always do this before I start doing daygame. It puts me in a state in which I can talk to people. If I don't do this then approaching is 1000x more difficult. If this is still not working, get a wingman. That will make it easier, you'll get that push when you need it.
You can do this man. Last year when I did daygame. I went out 3 days for 4 hours. Didn't do a single approach (was too scared) but on day 4 I said fuck it and approached. That's what you need to do. Go out and even if you can't game, don't go home. Stay downtown for hours. Do this every day until you approach and then you'll see that that there is nothing to be afraid of.

 

[Franco]

Stewie,

As far as day game goes, one thing that helps to get you started making your first few approaches it to make sure they are easy ones. And by easy, I mean approaches where you have plenty of opportunity to approach with low-risk opportunities to converse.

An example of this would be a girl sitting by herself on a bench texting on her phone. If it looks like the girl will be occupied for awhile and isn't moving (while also not around any friends or waiting for anyone), then it will give you plenty of opportunities to make the approach without letting the opportunity skip by. It's very hard to start out with doing day game if you're doing it in an area where all of your targets are constantly moving. When you're starting, you want to give yourself ample opportunities to approach women who are staying still for long periods of time so that you can win the mental battle in your head that is preventing you from approaching. If it helps to understand what your first approach feels like, then you head should be screaming "holy shit, go back, GO BACK!" in your head, but your feet just keep moving forward until you make eye contact with her and there's no turning back. It's the most awkward feeling in the world, but you'll feel ASTRONOMICALLY better once you've done it. The feeling of doing it is indescribable.

Anyway, the second part of attempting an "easy" approach is to pick a situational opener. If you're trying to go direct or indirect-direct without any prior experience cold approaching, it's going to be very rough. Using the "girl on the bench texting" as an example, a good opener for her would be, "Are you waiting for someone?" Then let her reply, and regardless of whether she is or isn't, you can say, "oh, it's just such a nice day that I was wondering why anyone could just be sitting down doing nothing! What brings you out here today?" And then just practice having a conversation... when you're in the midst of the conversation, you might even feel a relaxing comfort come over you because you're in "known" territory (think of yourself interacting with a girl at a party or in social circle). From there, if you want to, you can try to get her number or just exit the conversation peacefully. Either way, you will feel MUCH better about yourself.

Those are my tips, Stewie. =)

- Franco

 

[Drck]

I hope this helps: Don't be such a fucking beta pussy!

Seriously, you are overthinking it, just do it. Train yourself by moving out of your comfort zone in different areas. Is the water in that lake too cold? So what, jump into it and take a swim. Why bother with presentation for your colleagues? Just do it, stand up and talk for a couple of minutes. Is it easier to sit home and watch TV instead of going out and run 2 miles? Yes it is, it is much easier to sit home and do nothing. So go out and run 2 miles, see if you can do it.

You'll do it several times in different areas and it will become much easier...