Post-date strategy

[drexciyan]

So I had coffee with this girl for an hour. She seemed into me (was qualifying herself, leaning in, etc). Though, she was a bit boring... It was a bit odd, anything I asked her about for a deep dive (travel, ambitions, hobbies, adventures) turned out to be a dead end. She had no real hobbies, or ambitions (besides moving to the US), and she didn't go on adventures. So it was difficult to make conversation threads, and I started to get bored. She told me she was shy, so either she really *is* that boring, or she wasn't comfortable enough to open up to me. She actually wouldn't sit close to me, because she was so shy, which rendered me unable to touch her.

In moments of silence, I kind of just sat there looking bored (I hope it was subtle). She asked me questions, and obviously I didn't answer them directly. All she knows is that I'm a dropout and unemployed. Then she had to go meet some friends, and I did too, so she offered to pay the bill (which I let her do), and asked me for a kiss before we departed. I did the European kiss on both cheeks thing, since that's common, and I didn't want her to think she 'had me' by kissing her on the lips...

Didn't send a post date text, which I somewhat regret because I almost feel that my attainability came off as too low. So how long should I wait before asking her to come over and cook food? Should I still send a text telling her I had a good time? (Date was yesterday)

 

[JacobPalmer]

Hey anonymoose,

Sounds like the date went....ok. I've been on those boring dates too where she just needs more time to open up, as you did try to deep dive. BUT, sometimes you have to just work with what you're given. She told you she was shy - bingo - there's your interesting conversation thread where you can talk about 1. does she always want to be this shy 2. what it was like growing up being shy 3. your experiences being shy and how you overcame them 4. and then in this case a question that I would personally ask is "So if you weren't so shy, what's something you'd want to ask me about myself?" Or what's something about yourself you don't tell a lot of people? All good stuff to go on.

As for the not sitting close to each other, did you get up and move her? Or give her a reason to sit closer to you? (you can't hear her good enough, inch closer a bit etc).

Anyway, as for your actual question: just shoot her a text today or tomorrow. "Hey cutie, I'm thinking we get together again and work on getting you more out of your shell. Let's do dinner at my place, what are a few days you're free?

 

[naturalmikey]

Here's a quick guide. Just ask yourself one question, "is there a connection?"

if the answer is yes there is a connection escalate and try to move things towards the sex location
if the answer is no there is no connection escalate and try to move things towards the sex location