Calls & Texts Post First Date Texting FU?

[JacobPalmer]

Wasn't quite sure where to post this, but I could use some advice at what went wrong/how to proceed from here? Feedback is welcome as I'm a bit stumped as to how I should proceed or should have proceeded. And I like this girl, so hopefully this isn't dead at this point.

So this girl and I had a great date, didn't fuck though, but she said she wanted to see me again. Here's the post date text breakdown:

Her: Made it home safe! Thanks for tonight.
Me: What are you thanking me for?
Me: Or is that your cute way of saying you had a great time
Her: Fineeeee. I had a great time.
Me: Me too
Me: Are you free tomorrow?
Me: Or if you're not, can you be?
Her: Potentially, why?
(so this text from her I didn't really like, but I decided to think nothing of it and push forward)

Me: For dinner
Me: Or date #2
(I said dinner here because we had a talk about having dinner earlier in the night and she said she would look forward to that as she liked talking with me. Normally I don't do dinner until farther into the relationship)

Her: Oh really.. You're not sick of me yet?
Me: Sick of? I can't get enough
Her: Careful what you wish for
Her: I might just stick around
Me: Counting on it (so long as you don't blush evvverrrry time we kiss in the future )
Her: I make absolutely no promises on that front
Me: Cute
Me: Let me know about tomorrow and I'll pick a place, I'm off to bed. Night XXX
Her: Sounds good. Night JacobPalmer

So at this point I waited until 2 the next day to text her, and I was a bit miffed that she hadn't gotten back to me yet.

Me: So XXX, are you free tonight?

(she doesn't text me until 4:18)

Her: Hey, left the office a bit late today and now I'm stuck in standstill traffic. Can I let you know when I get home?
(does this text by her suck? Or am I reading into that wrong?)

Me: Same, traffic sucks. That sounds good
Her: I hate this drive so much
Me: Me too. Although it also gives us the opportunity to race
Her: You'll win every time, you don't have to go as far!
Me: True, but we can celebrate my victory together
4:25

5:09
Her: Finally home (snoozing emoji)
Me: Just barely beat you
Her: It's so nice to finally sit down.
Me: Definitely. The glass of wine is a nice touch (she had just sent me a snap of her pouring some wine)
Her: Much needed
Me: Long day?
Her: Very long. Definitely glad it's my weekend
Me: Going to party like a rockstar now?
Her: Oh yeah, cause that's totally what I do on a Wednesday
Me: I knew you had a bit of a wild side...
Her: Just a little bit...
Me: Good, just my type
6:06

So at this point I don't hear anything, and I'm a bit annoyed because she said she would let me know if she was free tonight. Anyway, I wait over an hour to text again.

7:13
Me: Hey, haven't heard from you regarding plans tonight, and feels a bit weird asking if you're free for a third time, so I'm going to do my own thing at this point
Her: Ah ok sorry. I didn't know you were waiting on me.
(wtf, how do you figure that. Damn I was annoyed at this point)
Me: Yes, you were going to let me know when you got home

And that's where things stand at this point. Help and insight are welcome, as I do like this girl, but I'm also a bit annoyed right now. Like, I'm not crazy for thinking that she's in the wrong for not getting back to me twice am I?

 

[Sub-Zero]

yeah, she's wrong man. I'm glad you told her you're not gonna keep asking her out and do your own thing.

can't tell you why she didn't answer, but if she's avoiding the question 2 times, especially when she said I didn't know you were waiting on me, then still doesn't give you an answer sounds like a complete waste of time.

I'm guessing you can tell she's not interested or she's just playing games.

from what I read on the site; it's not good to ask a girl if she's free as a first text, heard it is needy.

sound like she wants you to chase hard.

in my experience when you tell a girl to do something, like let you know, she usually won't get back to you. if she says I'll let you know she won't get back go you. you can't let women lead and control things, that's how they are for some reason.

I take it that they think it's too much work for them to get back to you and maybe they feel they're chasing, who knows.

but what I do know is when I leave the ball in her court at all, she won't do what I ask if I didn't sleep with her of course.

a better option would have been to ask when she's free the rest of the week and next, then all you have to do is wait for that repsosne and if you don't get it then you know what that means, but if you ask her a specific date, then she can try to play the busy game, no girl is gonna tell you she's busy for two weeks unless she's bullshitting.

I'd move on.

This is just my personal opinion.

 

[JacobPalmer]

from what I read on the site; it's not good to ask a girl if she's free as a first text, heard it is needy.

True, but this is just a follow up text to the conversation the night before to actually solidify plans. This whole convo took place from the end of date that night to the next day. I also only send it as I hadn't heard from her that day yet.

I may need to move on....damnit.

Thanks for your insight.

If anyone else would like to comment I'd love that. Should I have asked her a third time? Or let the convo die and then treat it like no bog deal?

 

[JacobPalmer]

What I followed up with her the next day is this:

Me: Hey XXX hope the first day of your weekend is going well. Sorry if I came across as rude/snappy last night - seems like there was just some miscommunication happening.
Me: I'm busy with work the next few nights, but I would love to see you again. What are some days you're free next week?

My thoughts writing this were that I did come across as a bit butthurt in my last text to her (but maybe not?) and I felt a "warmer" text was needed. But maybe I'm way off on this. Did I let her off the hook here, or if I didn't let her off the hook, did I do so poorly? I haven't heard back from her, but it hasn't been a full 24 hours yet.

Chase/Franco/other top guys I would love some feed back on this, and ways to save this/reengage, if possible.

 

[Overdoze]

I think youre overreacting tbh - sorta nice guy syndrome. Keep your cool.

Dont accept all her can i write you late stalling things again again. tell her you need a time/meetup place whatver. suggestion xxx at 19.

Consider what it says about you for her that you let her off the hook in rel. to your agreements ( which ALSO might only be in your head OR some girls are more chill on agreements eg italian girls and dont really consider them serious aka need to touch base when its closer and its more a maybe to them). Just for your own self reflection. Im not critisizing you here - just trying to help from what i think.

& Beware that many girls are ninjas on these things and guys tend to be quite iffy.

just my perspective - take it for what it is.

 

[JacobPalmer]

I think youre overreacting tbh - sorta nice guy syndrome. Keep your cool.

To clarify, which part am I overreacting with?

& Beware that many girls are ninjas on these things and guys tend to be quite iffy.

What do you mean by this?

 

[Overdoze]

but I'm also a bit annoyed right now

Your post just radiated irritation (and frustration) which was what i was pointing too.

As i see it you let it go too far without saying what you wanted when already annoyed waiting for her to write. You then accept her "can i write you later" text. = it becomes a larger irritation. which you capture yourself too at the end. but then you put it on her as being the bad one. Not understanding that its prob. due to different views of what was agreed on/it means. From her answers its obvious she has a different view of what your talk was which means shes not being bad at all. She just perceived things different from you. Which is about how some people understand "agreements" as i wrote. different cultures have totally different views on what agreements mean.

Stuff like this sabotage the vibe which is why i point it out.

the ninja stuff doesnt apply here as i reflect upon it.

 

[JacobPalmer]

True, I was annoyed, and yes, this could have just been a miscommunication or a different view on what was agreed upon.

I'm not sure I agree with me letting things get too far, or maybe I'm confused there. I first told her to let me know if she's free the next day, and then asked her the next day if she was free that night. I'm not sure how else I would have gone about it.

 

[Overdoze]

Fair. Always easier to be "clever" in retrospective too for me

you know the situation best! my pointers are just perspectives.

 

[JacobPalmer]

Managed to turn this around after triple texting some solid stuff, and *should* have another date with her next week (her suggestion).