Privacy & How To Defend Yourself Against Moral Attacks?

[Big Daddy]

I just read a piece that seems to resurface every two weeks with different characters but with the same plot.

A guy has a somewhat prominent career, maybe a director, manager, founder -- or simply a name you can Google (which is almost everyone nowadays). He then tries to make a move on girls, but instead of being brushed off like he'd be if he was an unknown foreigner, these girls leak whatever it is that he did. As a result, he gets under massive fire, possibly compromising his current relationships and career.

The story I mentioned before was about Dejan Kovacevic, the founder of a sports media site who supposedly tried to get a threesome with a girl he just met:

Beth Mincin, [...], says she met Kovacevic in 2014 [...]. She says that in June of 2014, Kovacevic texted her to let her know that he would soon be launching the site, and while he said he couldn’t hire her as a staffer or pay her to write, he offered her exposure on DKPS as a reward for a much different assignment: have a threesome with him and his wife, or have sex with his wife while he watched.

I get that if the story really did go down like that (he denies) he really lacks some social grace by making the suggestion like that, but that is not my point. It's that basically, you can be at the mercy of some girl every time you make a move because the story can be told however they want to tell. The girl re-sent the text to friends and showed to other, and then told reporters about it.

What if he were clearly joking, and that was just a tease? What if it was a drunk comment?

They also have other allegations, such as this one girl that worked for him:

DKPS introduced Sara Civian in June 2017 on a contributing basis [...]. After the Pirates beat writer left the site in August of 2017, Civian was switched over to cover baseball. She says she made clear to Kovacevic that she wasn’t a baseball expert, but he wanted her to fill the position anyway. One former staffer told me they asked Kovacevic, in a phone call, “‘Does she know anything about baseball?’” The former staffer said Kovacevic, referencing the local NBC affiliate, replied, “‘I don’t know, but her tits will look good on Channel 11.’”

Which clearly just sounds like a joke any man would make to another man. But it didn't prevent the girl from making a Medium post and going public with it after she quit the job:

It was actually shocking to see this stuff, and not only because I am now aware that there are messages detailing what I was wearing months ago down to my shoes, not because “at least my tits will look good on channel 11,” and not because of the stuff that I can’t even bring myself to type but apparently my 57-year-old boss could after I spent 20 minutes alone in a car with him. I keep going over the rides in my head. Now that I know what he was thinking every car ride and that he felt he could type it out and press send with zero repercussions is just gross.

Talk about overblown bullshit. But now he's fucked, got featured on Deadspin for its 2.2 million daily readers and even though the reporter reached out to him to get his side of the story, there is hardly any way he can come back from this unharmed.

The point of this thread is: in today's society where everything is recorded and everyone is searchable, it's so easy for girls (and their SJWs nice guy friends) to have a leverage over anything you do. Sexting? You are liable. Being aggressive? You are liable. Have a profile on dating apps? You are liable. I've been more worried about texting dirty shit, being more aggressive and even having profiles on dating apps -- things that might come to bite me in the ass as society tries to tame men by frowning upon such practices.

So what measures can you take to minimize the chance or damage done to you?

 

[Cacc]

I'd say, never hide who you really are. The people that tend to get grilled hard in these scenarios are guys who might be putting up fronts themselves and get seen for who they really are. If people know you're certain way they will just say, "Bob just being bob!" and brush it off.

But obviously that doesn't always happen. And if you get in a situation like that, simply be real. Don't apologize unless you really fucked up. It's hard to put into words all I can say is be a warm, genuine man about it.

If you want a good movie for reference on how to handle these things, I recommend the court scene in Mr deeds goes to town.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey BD,

I am a man with a career, and I live in a country where these things will fire back very badly if they go public. So privacy is a huge concern to me.

So what I did is, all my online dating profiles are under a neutral pseudo, e.g. "the doctor" or "french gentleman" (none of these are my actual pseudo). And when I meet the girls, I give them another name (not my real, e.g. Peter). So I have a pseudo, behind the pseudo.

Of course in these days of invading social medias, it is unfortunately not nearly enough. I was surprised two years ago when one of my Tinder matches sent me an invite on FB - in spite of having all the privacy options to maximum security. My match told me that my FB profile appeared in her "People you may know". Now that WhatsApp was purchased by Facebook, I think FB can link your phone number to your FB profile - if you happen to have FB app installed and logged in in your phone. I never tried, but I guess someone putting up your phone number into the FB search bar could find your FB profile - and therefore know your real name. Also, via Whatsapp, FB now has a copy of your phone address book - and the copies of your contact's address books - and can do cross referencing. It's pretty bad!

Ideally, you want to have a separate mobile phone, and separate FB account.

But still not enough. What I suspect these guys are capable of doing is do facial recognition, plus cross referencing. Not sure if they are already doing it (in large scale), but if not, they will at some point. It means that if you have a profile pic, in some online app or site, it could be electronically recognized and matched with your FB pic, or Google plus.

And also remember that whatever information you have put outside in the past, will still be stored in the Google and FB databases 20 years from now, even if you deleted it. So if you (or another reader here) do not have a career yet, remember that you may have one in the future.

So you have to be very, very careful with what you publish outside. And for a start, get out of Facebook if you can, and do not log in into any Google service (as far as possible). Use DuckDuckGo for anonymous Google search.

Seppuku

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Quite frankly, speak up and defend yourself like crazy.

A good example of this is how Donald Trump defended himself during the presidential campaign, notice he was unapologetic and when he did apologize, he shifted the attention to the Clintons.

I do think that overescalation is a bad move in most situations and fucking coworkers/people at your workplace is a bad idea but when you are at the end of it, speak up and share your side of the story. Take ownership of it, if you made advances on her, then say you did so and mention how normal people do this. If she gave off hints, mention those hints. Make it very clear about what happened and appeal to people's common sense. Make it seem like everyone is making a huge deal out of something that does not need to be made a huge deal out of.

But in a lot of cases, don't make stupid propositions to women like that.

If you are a man of popularity and power, you have options with quality women. DiCaprio literally makes models sign agreements before he sees them to avoid this sort of shit from happening.