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- Jan 5, 2014
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Not long ago, I read the story of a forum member who went through a rough work environment. When he first came on, the dominant group at work looked down on him. As he got popular and built up a social life after work, they started trying to break into his circle, often using manipulative, forceful, and under-handed tactics to do. Even though Hector had a great post on this stuff back in the day, I think this needs a rehash.
Who will need to read this.
Given the last post by @Train and also @Truthtomasses I'd say that anyone in a corporate work environment could benefit. Thankfully we are remote for the time being but eventually we will go back to work, some of us at least. Anyone in a large work environment where cliques are prominent, sociopaths who want to leech off of others will exist. Even moreso, ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE.
Want to get to a point where you are constantly getting hot girls? Making good money doing what you love? Getting to the top of the ladder in anything worth getting to the top of the ladder of? Get ready amigo, you are going to deal with difficult, scheming, and nasty people.
Two books I swear by.
My favorite author is Robert Greene and there are two books of his I swear by, 48 Laws of Power and his most recent work, The Laws of Human Nature. I recommend reading both, after that? Read them AGAIN. I'd also add his book Strategies of War to your reading list. Best author on human nature, period.
Why do shitty people exist? Why are some people so evil? Why?
How can some people always be the type to stir the pot, start the fight, and try to constantly leech off of others. The question puzzles psychologists and experts of human nature a lot and a lot of theories have been thrown out. Some say it is nature, they are more ambitious than usual. Some say they had a traumatic childhood. I say, they knew for a while that they could get away with it and never really suffered much consequences.
But you're stuck with them, hate it or love it. So here is Proactivity's guide on being PROACTIVE. Let's use the rest of this thread to identify the types of shitty people you will deal with in one paragraph and a tactic that might work against them in another, from there we can do a good discussion.
Mr. and Mrs. Stir The Pot.
You are minding your own business, happy to be at work, and even feel optimistic about the day. Then you feel it coming like a slow storm, that peaceful day is about to be ruined, and out like a viper comes a passive-aggressive (or at times) even aggressive comment meant to get a reaction out of you. At times, it might be direct and usually is aimed below the belt. Often times, the type is an older man, older woman, or someone sexually undesirable. Usually someone who is lower on the totem pole trying to prove themselves to a group or someone trying to break into a group. Even then, drama is a constant for them, peaceful work environments are their nightmare.
Now this is a bit situation specific, do you think this person is doing this to fit into a crowd or do you think they are doing it because they are just miserable people who want drama? If the former, fire back with something like this.
If the latter? It gets trickier. The thing about miserable people (lonely feminazi, miserable older people, uglier women who can't find a guy, and incels who can't get laid) is that they often have a lot of energy for this shit. The best thing I have found to work is ask them to clarify what they meant but with a more serious tone. Chase has a great article on passive-aggressiveness I recommend everyone read. Law of least effort applies too, CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS.
The entitled psychopath/leech.
You worked hard to get that girl and now he pounces on her. You worked hard for a project and he takes all the credit. You got a nice awesome life? He wants it. Hot girls in your life? He wants a piece. Some cash? He wants to take it from you. Will rarely respect boundaries, be assertive with you, and act like you owe him things. People described Jeffrey Epstein as this type. On a lower level, it could be some rich kid who never worked for anything but feels entitled to everything. Every trick in the book is fair play to take what is yours. That hot group of girls he sees you with? Oh he is barging right in even though you were the one who went in.
Thankfully, @Chase has a lot of good articles on dealing with AMOGs and @Grand Pooba does as well with picking friends. I would add a couple things:
The wolf in sheep's clothing.
Oh he worships Jesus on Sundays and scams the world the very next day, religion is a big thing among these types. Even @Grand Pooba talked about this when he mentioned picking friends. Often the moral superiority, it is always there, and usually hypocrites as well. Guilt trips and taking advantage of the good nature of people is their life purpose!
While very sinister, I often find that the wolf in sheep's clothing is like a cockroach, once you find it then it is living on borrowed time. Best weapon against them? Call that shit out and throw it back at their face. Every chance you get, call out their hypocrisy. They claim you are a racist for not support a movement? Say why they are not marching for it right now. They try to shame you into a lifestyle choice? Go on the offensive and cast doubt on their lack of transparency and secretive nature. Always go on the offensive once you have found this snake, best weapon is to ensure you bring up their secrecy and cast doubt on others on the INTEGRITY of that person.
Get numbers on your side and shine the spotlight on them, they will often do their damage in private meetings or behind closed doors.
Even BETTER? Get their victims on your side and have those victims speak up, bonus points if emotions get involved here.
The combative victim.
Usually someone from a group that is not privileged. Loves to play victim and whine about what they have been through, calls others evil, but is deep down angling for power. Will use their supposed lower status in life to angle for power while playing victim and the underdog the same time. While not always the case, usually a woman or a male of a minority/oppressed group. In my opinion, this can be the toughest person to go against because they will get sympathy from others but often have very sinister motives. Often times, it won't even be the person that faced bigotry, you are likely to hear this from some minority from the suburbs as opposed to one that grew up rough and is happy for an opportunity.
In this situation, especially as a white guy, you are kind of in a tough spot. If you go at them directly, you are a racist, bigot, or whatever. If they are the only person in the room of a less privileged group, they will likely get their way a lot in the western world. There is one way to combat this, find others of that minority group or more oppressed group and make it into a victim's olympics where winner takes all. Once again, you are in a tough spot because no company or org wants to be seen as that racist, bigot, or intolerant workplace. You can cast doubt on their character though in some cases. Maybe they are crying victim all the time but it is a guy who happens to be sleazy, especially towards women of other races (white women in particular), shed the spotlight on that. Catch em drunk trying to act alpha male and make it circulate, you might even some people to see what is going on.
I will add more to this list but know this about shitty people:
1. They often are that way because they got away with it.
2. Their biggest fear often is the spotlight on their actions.
3. Calling the behavior out for what it is works.
4. Get some allies, others might also hate them. Make their voices heard.
Who will need to read this.
Given the last post by @Train and also @Truthtomasses I'd say that anyone in a corporate work environment could benefit. Thankfully we are remote for the time being but eventually we will go back to work, some of us at least. Anyone in a large work environment where cliques are prominent, sociopaths who want to leech off of others will exist. Even moreso, ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE.
Want to get to a point where you are constantly getting hot girls? Making good money doing what you love? Getting to the top of the ladder in anything worth getting to the top of the ladder of? Get ready amigo, you are going to deal with difficult, scheming, and nasty people.
Two books I swear by.
My favorite author is Robert Greene and there are two books of his I swear by, 48 Laws of Power and his most recent work, The Laws of Human Nature. I recommend reading both, after that? Read them AGAIN. I'd also add his book Strategies of War to your reading list. Best author on human nature, period.
Why do shitty people exist? Why are some people so evil? Why?
How can some people always be the type to stir the pot, start the fight, and try to constantly leech off of others. The question puzzles psychologists and experts of human nature a lot and a lot of theories have been thrown out. Some say it is nature, they are more ambitious than usual. Some say they had a traumatic childhood. I say, they knew for a while that they could get away with it and never really suffered much consequences.
But you're stuck with them, hate it or love it. So here is Proactivity's guide on being PROACTIVE. Let's use the rest of this thread to identify the types of shitty people you will deal with in one paragraph and a tactic that might work against them in another, from there we can do a good discussion.
Mr. and Mrs. Stir The Pot.
You are minding your own business, happy to be at work, and even feel optimistic about the day. Then you feel it coming like a slow storm, that peaceful day is about to be ruined, and out like a viper comes a passive-aggressive (or at times) even aggressive comment meant to get a reaction out of you. At times, it might be direct and usually is aimed below the belt. Often times, the type is an older man, older woman, or someone sexually undesirable. Usually someone who is lower on the totem pole trying to prove themselves to a group or someone trying to break into a group. Even then, drama is a constant for them, peaceful work environments are their nightmare.
Now this is a bit situation specific, do you think this person is doing this to fit into a crowd or do you think they are doing it because they are just miserable people who want drama? If the former, fire back with something like this.
If the latter? It gets trickier. The thing about miserable people (lonely feminazi, miserable older people, uglier women who can't find a guy, and incels who can't get laid) is that they often have a lot of energy for this shit. The best thing I have found to work is ask them to clarify what they meant but with a more serious tone. Chase has a great article on passive-aggressiveness I recommend everyone read. Law of least effort applies too, CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS.
The entitled psychopath/leech.
You worked hard to get that girl and now he pounces on her. You worked hard for a project and he takes all the credit. You got a nice awesome life? He wants it. Hot girls in your life? He wants a piece. Some cash? He wants to take it from you. Will rarely respect boundaries, be assertive with you, and act like you owe him things. People described Jeffrey Epstein as this type. On a lower level, it could be some rich kid who never worked for anything but feels entitled to everything. Every trick in the book is fair play to take what is yours. That hot group of girls he sees you with? Oh he is barging right in even though you were the one who went in.
Thankfully, @Chase has a lot of good articles on dealing with AMOGs and @Grand Pooba does as well with picking friends. I would add a couple things:
- Lose any hero worship wherever you go and quit envying or looking up to the rich kids because you will have what @Truthtomasses had happen to him (they see you have access to hot girls and they will barge in aggressively)
- Set clear boundaries and make the consequences for not enforcing them stern from the get go (you give em an inch they will take your whole fucking world)
- In work settings, make friends with people who are fearful or a bit annoyed by the type, power in numbers!
The wolf in sheep's clothing.
Oh he worships Jesus on Sundays and scams the world the very next day, religion is a big thing among these types. Even @Grand Pooba talked about this when he mentioned picking friends. Often the moral superiority, it is always there, and usually hypocrites as well. Guilt trips and taking advantage of the good nature of people is their life purpose!
While very sinister, I often find that the wolf in sheep's clothing is like a cockroach, once you find it then it is living on borrowed time. Best weapon against them? Call that shit out and throw it back at their face. Every chance you get, call out their hypocrisy. They claim you are a racist for not support a movement? Say why they are not marching for it right now. They try to shame you into a lifestyle choice? Go on the offensive and cast doubt on their lack of transparency and secretive nature. Always go on the offensive once you have found this snake, best weapon is to ensure you bring up their secrecy and cast doubt on others on the INTEGRITY of that person.
Get numbers on your side and shine the spotlight on them, they will often do their damage in private meetings or behind closed doors.
Even BETTER? Get their victims on your side and have those victims speak up, bonus points if emotions get involved here.
The combative victim.
Usually someone from a group that is not privileged. Loves to play victim and whine about what they have been through, calls others evil, but is deep down angling for power. Will use their supposed lower status in life to angle for power while playing victim and the underdog the same time. While not always the case, usually a woman or a male of a minority/oppressed group. In my opinion, this can be the toughest person to go against because they will get sympathy from others but often have very sinister motives. Often times, it won't even be the person that faced bigotry, you are likely to hear this from some minority from the suburbs as opposed to one that grew up rough and is happy for an opportunity.
In this situation, especially as a white guy, you are kind of in a tough spot. If you go at them directly, you are a racist, bigot, or whatever. If they are the only person in the room of a less privileged group, they will likely get their way a lot in the western world. There is one way to combat this, find others of that minority group or more oppressed group and make it into a victim's olympics where winner takes all. Once again, you are in a tough spot because no company or org wants to be seen as that racist, bigot, or intolerant workplace. You can cast doubt on their character though in some cases. Maybe they are crying victim all the time but it is a guy who happens to be sleazy, especially towards women of other races (white women in particular), shed the spotlight on that. Catch em drunk trying to act alpha male and make it circulate, you might even some people to see what is going on.
I will add more to this list but know this about shitty people:
1. They often are that way because they got away with it.
2. Their biggest fear often is the spotlight on their actions.
3. Calling the behavior out for what it is works.
4. Get some allies, others might also hate them. Make their voices heard.
