Problem with my brain

mella

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 7, 2022
Messages
32
Hi, guys, I think I figured out what my main problem is. My brain cannot generate enough things to say. No coach or advice has been able to fix this problem. I get into interactions with chicks, and not just chicks but anybody in general who I'd like to befriend, and my brain just doesn't come up with the next thing to say. And it's not because of fear because I don't feel fear. My brain is empty and dry, that's all there is to it. Is there a cure for this?
 

Rakehell

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
683
dude, you’ve gone back and forth with people on this forum so I doubt it’s your brain not generating responses.

you probably aren’t a very good conversationalist, and don’t know how to skillfully navigate interactions to your desired outcome without overthinking your responses.

It’s a learned thing and there are articles on girlschase for that.
 

mella

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 7, 2022
Messages
32
dude, you’ve gone back and forth with people on this forum so I doubt it’s your brain not generating responses.

you probably aren’t a very good conversationalist, and don’t know how to skillfully navigate interactions to your desired outcome without overthinking your responses.

It’s a learned thing and there are articles on girlschase for that.
There's a BIG difference between computer and real life. At the computer I can take as much as several minutes to respond. With a person in real life it's a snap thing. My brain can't work it. All due respect I'm not sure that you have the qualifications to speak on this. I appreciate your reply though. In retrospect I think this may be a better question for a doctor or something. By the way, there is no overthinking going on in these situations. The problem is solely with generation.
 

mella

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 7, 2022
Messages
32
I think the part of my brain responsible for creativity is lacking.
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
1,651
I think the part of my brain responsible for creativity is lacking.
No, you just need experience.
I started like that. It took me years.

But it is a very common challenge for amateur conversationalists.

Keep at it, you will get it eventually.
 

Rakehell

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
683
There's a BIG difference between computer and real life. At the computer I can take as much as several minutes to respond. With a person in real life it's a snap thing. My brain can't work it. All due respect I'm not sure that you have the qualifications to speak on this. I appreciate your reply though. In retrospect I think this may be a better question for a doctor or something. By the way, there is no overthinking going on in these situations. The problem is solely with generation.
In the same sense you cannot diagnose yourself. Something as pervasive as how you’re making this sound would’ve dawned on you much sooner in life seduction material aside. And generally someone with a disorder close to what you’re describing (lower functioning autism) would’ve been diagnosed already.

Consider that maybe you’re over generalizing your inability to fluidly communicate with people, and study the nuances of conversation. You’d be surprised at the amount of people who feel they can’t hold a conversation for the exact reasons you described.
 

Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,539
Hi, guys, I think I figured out what my main problem is. My brain cannot generate enough things to say. No coach or advice has been able to fix this problem. I get into interactions with chicks, and not just chicks but anybody in general who I'd like to befriend, and my brain just doesn't come up with the next thing to say. And it's not because of fear because I don't feel fear. My brain is empty and dry, that's all there is to it. Is there a cure for this?

What is your formula? A common way to look at it is to formulate a simple question (the simplest being 'why?') or an association (comment).

Let's say someone says "I like to go skiing". You can ask "why do you like skiing?". Or you can simply comment with a basic association. "That sounds fun!" "That sounds like a workout!" "That sounds cold!" You just associate skiing with a word - fun, tiring, cold.

If the person replies to your question with a statement like "I like skiing because it's fast" you can make an extrapolation like "oh you like the feeling of speed?" Which can be associated with things like danger, risk, adrenaline, high concentration, etc.

Obviously these are very basic examples but this is the root of conversation - questions (to find out information about someone) and associations (to provide information about yourself or create commonality).

Think about if you had to code an AI to have a conversation. The first thing you'd do is mine the sentences for keywords and try to have the AI build a statement with associated words. E.g.

You: I like cars.

AI: cars are fast and look great.

I mean, it's a response you can at least reply to ..

So simply practice asking questions and making word associations and you'll never run out of things to say. And over time you'll learn to add layers to your conversation.
 

Lover

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
750
Your brain is not a fixed organ. It changes all the time on a microscopic level due to a concept called brain plasticity. The gist is that some of your neural cells are more active than others, but you can change that by changing your habits and rewire which cells you want to be more active.

I don't know your story but everyone is conditioned to the way they are today because of their past. And one can become different in his future if he seriously wants to change something about himself and discovers the ways in which he improves himself most

Some people may need certain methods to change a particular habit... such as preparing themselves too much e.g. canned lines, or not preparing themselves at all and just winging it. Other people need to write down stuff like "approach 3 girls" to do it

Others may not be ready for that particular change they want because something else is taking up their mind more, e.g. they suffer from untreated PTSD or depression. Or in my case, I needed to get better with people in general before I could put more energy into the niche of becoming a better lover

You don't need to go to a doctor. You should try some of the suggestions you have gotten in this thread. You can attend improv classes as well. Or look deep into yourself and ask yourself why things became this way, and take action depending on the answer
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
Drawing a blank happens when you have anxiety.

You have anxiety because you view the conversation as a high stakes game that has to be perfect so you can get your prize.

To reduce your anxiety and to see many conversation paths you’re currently missing, I recommend imagining you’re a man living in abundance - You have many beautiful women that you owe a date to, and it’s very easy to meet new women who want you to take them out.

How this will change you:
- You’ll see that such a man has standards. There’s a lot he wants to know about a woman to see if he wants to see her again.
- You’ll see that the girl is a partner in the conversation too. Maybe it's fully her fault providing short, boring answers? A man with abundance wouldn’t sit with her for two hours trying to get her to be interested in talking. He’d try a few times but if nothing changes, he would leave. Again, he has women to see who actually want to be there. He has standards.

Just two examples.
 
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