Problems with some approaches

[Richard]

What's up gentleman, I hope everyone is doing great. Since I've started approaching women I've gotten the experience for one on one conversations, and can almost always open, transition, deep dive, and close very smoothly, it's alot of fun. However, looking back, I've noticed a few times, rather a great many times where I'd see a very cute girl who I wanted to talk to she either wasn't alone or was with a mother. I'm 18 now, and the majority of the girls I talk to are slightly older than me, ages have ranged from 19-20 year olds to the oldest girl being 27 and some of the time, the girls are either with friends or with their mothers. Now, my question is, how can I approach a girl who is either:
- With her mother?
-With her family (sisters, father, etc)
-With her friends?
I like a good challenge, and these obstacles certainly qualify =)
Thanks for any responses or advice,
Richard.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

This has been a problem for me too, so I'm another person who would like this issue addressed. With friends, generally just try approaching anyway. Focus on one girl... Don't try to approach them as a group, because that's not cool. Be genuinely interested in one girl in the group, and if you do it well, her friends won't cockblock you.. That being said, I have yet to have had a successful pickup from a group. That's in part my inexperience and in part the fact that I live in a quiet suburb.

..Unless her friend is a guy.. Guys almost always think they have dibs even when they don't, so watch out for that.

But yeah, hopefully someone more seasoned can answer how to do it with a parent around. My one experience picking up with a parent around wasn't cockblocked, but then again, the girl didn't text me back either... so maybe I'll try it just to see what happens

May you find great success. We're both starting young

- AsianPersuasion

 

[Richard]

Much better to start young, I had a successful group pickup today, but looked back on my past and remembered how horrible the other times had been. I, by no means, have the experience to successfully keep picking up women in a group, or with family. Today, I think it worked because I approached and introductions were made on a high point while the three of them were laughing, and I in my opening kept them laughing in a warm and friendly way. Anyway, I hope a seasoned veteran can provide some insight as well.
Best of luck in the future.,
Richard

 

[Light]

I love this topic. lol...
I love approaching groups, because its fun. But regarding the mother and father thing, you need totally different approaches.

Lets address the issue with Groups of girl friends first, because that is the easiest.

With groups, Chase have already touched upon this topic in his blogs. Its about finding out who the "Leader" of the pack is.
You must always give at least 30% of your attention back to the leader, and 70% on the girl you are interested in.
You must make the leader like you, or she will be your cock blocker. If the leader finds you cool, and likes you too.. then she will more likely to encourage her girl friend that "you are a great catch". If you choose to ignore the leader, she will show you who is boss.
So your job is to put on your "Challenge Accepted!" mode, and jump right into the group with lots of enthusiasm, ask an INTERESTING question, and try your best to find out who that leader is. It usually is the one who voices her mind out the most and more dominant.

Now with the Mother / Sister issue, this is easy. It is already clear that the Mother is obviously the leader. You simply apply the same principle. If its the sister, you just have to find out who is older. However, here you need to give the mother a bit more attention, but state clearly that you are interested in her daughter. If she likes you, she may just give you her blessing and allow you a couple of minutes to talk to her daughter. I repeat.. your intention must be clear.
Parents love honest lads, and hate sleezy guys! It shows that you are honest yet bold.

Regarding the Father however, this is slightly difficult. He is clearly the authority. He is more like a ready made obstacle ready to smash you down.
There is only one way to go about this. - Show Respect and Honesty.
You MUST NOT ignore him. You must open HIM, not her. you must give absolute 100% attention to him. Think of yourself in his shoe. How can a guy get pass you for your daughter?
Well, if he came up to you and immediately show humbleness and respect towards you, then ASK for PERMISSION... you would probably think about it right?

I have done this a few times, and it goes something like this:
"Excuse me Sir, I don't mean to trouble you or be rude, but I just couldn't help but notice how attractive your daughter is, *turn to look at her briefly, and turn back to him* and with your permission, I was wondering if you're not in a rush, would be ok for me to speak to her for a couple of minutes?" - While looking at him in the eyes and with a WARM SMILE. In fact, you should have been holding on to that warm smile of yours from the moment you approached.
Usually the father would say its ok (surprise surprise!) Theses are the couple of responses I got if I remembered them correctly:

- "Sure lol" (At a wedding guest table, this especially works in a lively environment)
- "Umm.. *looked at her* (She ended up talking to me instead, she happened to be the leader
- *Looked at me firmly* "You have 5 minutes.." (This one was scary, but I said thanks, and did my usual opener. I didn't get far on this one, but hey I tried!)
- (This one is hilarious, I'll always remember it.) "You think SHE is attractive???!" - immediately she yelled "DAD!!" (LOL)

So there you go, it can be done, and in fact, easily. Just remember to state your intention clear at the beginning with the parents, and give attention to the leader of girl groups as well.

Happy Hunting.

 

[Humay]

Approaching girls with their mums? Full respect to you, bad man.

Seriously though, how do you do that? Mum and daughter in bed together. Delightful.

 

[Light]

Mums are easy to deal with. All they want is the best for their daughter (and they also want what they haven't got for themselves)
You just need to show that they can TRUST you.

 

[Richard]

Thank you so much Light, I appreciate your response and your advice, and am definitely going to start doing this whenever possible.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Seriously, Light, I can't thank you enough for this! This will make my learning experience go a whole lot faster since I now don't have to screen out those that are with their parents.

Good success to you brother, thank you for a great answer!
- AsianPersuasion

 

[Richard]

Best of luck to you Asian, Light, =) I'm so glad I joined this website

 

[AsianPersuasion]

One more thing.. When the girls are in a group or with a parent, and walking somewhere, how do you pull off one of those? I tried that a few times earlier at malls, and they did the thing where their heads turn and their bodies keep walking... Maybe I need to say something a bit bolder to get them out of their autopilots?

Is it the same "I just think your daughter is very cute.. would you mind if I had 10 minutes with her?", or do I need to say something a bit different because I stopped them while they were on their way somewhere?

Do I walk faster to catch up to them if they're ahead of me, or wait for them to settle in a store somewhere and then open? Both seem a bit messy, but I'm open for anything because I don't find enough targets to be picky about them.

 

[Richard]

At this stage in my life, I would personally wait until they settled somewhere, as Light said, you have to open the dad, and you can't open him while he's walking the way you could open a single woman when she's walking. I don't know if the veterans have another way of going about this, but right now, it seems logical to wait until the family or group has settled, unless it's a group of women, then you could pre-open them while they are walking.

 

[Light]

The general rule of thumb is that you don't open when they seem busy. This applies to girls on their own.
If they are busy and have places to go etc, not only will they not appreciate you approaching them, they will reject you right away.
Like everything you do in life - "Timing" is the key.

"If you do the right thing at the wrong time, you get PAIN" - Anthony Robbins

So if mothers and daughters were shopping in a mall, and they look happy and bubbly just crusing about, then it would be fine.
But if they were walking on the street at a relatively quick pace AND not really talking to each other, its likely they are in a rush.
You need to be using your own sense of judgement and spotting these little differences. Use your instinct and gutt feeling, and if you think its the right time to approach, then do so. But don't just jump in the moment a pretty butterfly catches your eye.

You want to be seen as natural and smooth... not forced and creepy / stalker.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Thanks guys, this is going to help me out a lot. I'll try everything out when I go out today

 

[lux7]

It's interesting, but I'd keep in mind that it can backfire in different ways.
If you're too young you might sound a bit ridiculous, if you're too old for the girl and you're in the wrong culture you can set off "pervert alarm bells" that would not resound if you'd otherwise approach the girl by herself.
If you're both more or less the same age you might also wait for her to move away from her parents.

Asking for permission to the parents to talk to the daughter might also sound like you don't respect much her choices and will and that you're a bit of a authoritarian/male chauvinist, which could be the reason why it didn't work with the confident girl light was talking about.

If you meet a family of jealous dad/brothers, it could backfire in a worse way (rule of thumb: never try it with girls wearing a veil ).

The dad joking back by saying "you think SHE is attractive" is priceless though!

 

[Dern]

So when approaching groups of girls, you should open the girl that you're interested in. Then give the leader 30% and the special girl 70% attention. What if the girl you want is the leader and there's only two of them? Then you don't give any attention to her friend?

What Zphix said was good to read, he just approached the girl he wanted to talk to, and then introduced himself to everyone at a high point, then talked with the group of girls as a group, maybe asking questions like: "What brings you girls here today?" Then maybe proceed to talk to the girl you want, and try to number grab? Does that sound correct?