Procedure for picking up Bartenders?

[ramirezs316]

I chatted up a bartender the other night. I had met her before so when I remembered her name she was floored and really curious to talk to me. I got her laughing, talking about herself and gushing about my complements, and I was able to touch her a little...in a very short period of time. She had to tend to a table twice but each time she was like "one sec, I'll be right back." When she returned, I gave her my signature bartender line: "So if you work at a bar all night, when do you get to go out and have a drink?" Which was, of course, when she told me she had a boyfriend who was a really "nice guy" and she loved him blah blah. She says she met him in September, working no less, and keeps it down low at work (I joked, "Really, did he remember your name like me?"). I then spun some stuff about how I think I remembered her for a reason and its too bad we can't grab a drink. She decided to give me her card but said things probably wouldn't change between her and her boyfriend. She had a whole "I really wish I could go out with you, but I shouldn't" vibe. I threw her a text just for the hell of it but haven't heard back.

My question is: how do I approach this if I see her again next time I'm there? Should I even bother texting her? And does Chase have any articles on picking up bartenders or servers? I've actually gotten pretty good at it.

 

[Thedoctor]

My question is: how do I approach this if I see her again next time I'm there? Should I even bother texting her? And does Chase have any articles on picking up bartenders or servers? I've actually gotten pretty good at it.

ramirezs,

I wrote a response in regards to waitresses a while back. You can find it here:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3661

I haven't seen any articles on picking up girls that work in that industry. Most likely because it tends to be a lot more difficult, and it can be hard to differentiate whether she is interested in you or just doing her job.

As far as your other questions, if you see her again at her work, don't mention the text she didn't reply to. Just act casual and don't make a big deal out of the whole thing. And If she didn't answer your first text, you can always try again in a week or so. If no reply again, time to move on.

-John

 

[Nova]

I've actually picked up a few girls working at bars in the past. number one thing to remember is to talk to her later on when things are quieting down. I always see guys trying to charm girls working behind the bars during the midst of the evening when they are super busy, you can tell the girls are almost on auto pilot pulling all the pints, hitting the optics etc, they are involved in their job, being able to take a compliment and give thanks for it whilst coming of as genuine but actually not caring at all and moving on to the next customer is what people working behind bars are best at. make sure you try and get her engaged later on, when she is actually receptive. (of course this assumes the venue is a busy one)

 

[ramirezs316]

I've actually picked up a few girls working at bars in the past. number one thing to remember is to talk to her later on when things are quieting down. I always see guys trying to charm girls working behind the bars during the midst of the evening when they are super busy, you can tell the girls are almost on auto pilot pulling all the pints, hitting the optics etc, they are involved in their job, being able to take a compliment and give thanks for it whilst coming of as genuine but actually not caring at all and moving on to the next customer is what people working behind bars are best at. make sure you try and get her engaged later on, when she is actually receptive. (of course this assumes the venue is a busy one)

That's exactly what I did. I chatted her up at the very end of the night. I've seen guys do exactly what you described and it's a fools errand. Also, she works outside of the bar, so she mingles and dances here and there but she was definitely able to engage by the time I got to her.

I might not be at her bar in a few weeks though. Should I bother texting her next week even if I don't see her or just chat her up next time I'm there to see if she remembers me?