Process of going from kissing to sex

[EyManitoba]

Hi everyone,

I just realized that I lack a process from transitioning from kissing to sex. I've always just gone with my intuition here, but now that I've upped the rest of my game I find that this stage is comparatively unsmooth and sometimes I even shoot myself in the foot here, either by being too blase or appearing like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm good at getting to this point and good once we get going, but I too often fumble with LMR here, and I think if I had a process I could dramatically reduce that happening. I'm slowly getting better at handling LMR, but I'm wondering if y'all have processes for this. I'm sure everyone does something a little different and that it will more or less depend on the situation, but it still would be good to have some examples of how others transition from kissing to sex (let's say you've already isolated and are in the bedroom now).

I try and follow the whole two steps forward, one step back, but I'm not good at following that -- as when I get turned on I grow impatient and can push too hard. I realize that that dance isn't always necessary, so I'd be in favor of more efficient strategies over ones of moving slow. I'm also wondering how much the more advanced guys need to dibble girls on and off like this at this stage of a seduction.

Cheers,
Mani

 

[MaK]

I would also appreciate an answer to this (BUMP)

 

[Franco]

EM,

There's a lot that can go wrong during LMR, so maybe you can provide some examples of how things are playing out for you. Give us a few of your conversations as well as your physical approach toward escalating, and we'll take a look at where things see to be going awry for you.

- Franco

 

[PinotNoir]

For myself (and I think others), it's usually 4 things:

1) Before being alone, not getting enough of an emotional connection and/or coming off as more of a provider than a lover. If you've gotten a girl in bed alone, you've usually already gotten past this though.
2) Before being alone, not getting enough compliance and leading her (and possibly sexual tension). Again, if a girl has complied to be alone with you in a bed, you've usually already gotten past this.
3) Not enough persistence. (And missing escalation windows.)
4) Not enough patience.

Check out Anatman's recent LR process:

Pulled her into me and we passionately kissed. Leaving her wanting more, I stopped, stood up and went to my bed, inviting her to join me while also suggesting she take off her shoes. After this compliance, I got her under the covers.

Then the escalation followed thus

- Kiss her, rub her pussy outside her jeans, then pull back after an attempt to finger her before she stops me

- Continually blame her for turning me on so much and periodically, and dramatically, stop to breathe because I'm so turned on

- Kiss/bite her neck and caress her entire body as I work my way down to her stomach

- Lick her pelvis and into her pubic area while slightly lifting her up jeans, again rubbing her pussy

- Return to kissing her, mount her, and rub my knee against her pussy

- Stop the escalation for 10-15 minutes while we cuddle and let her work through the emotionally wall herself in silence, not being pushy at all verbally

- Following her internal dilemma, she mounts me and kisses my neck/ears

- Once she dismounts, we repeat the past few steps and she remounts me ~10 minutes later.

- This time I say to her, "kiss me lower," and she unbuttons my shirt to kiss down my stomach.

- Reaching my crotch, I say calmly "unbutton my jeans."

- She complies and jerks me off seconds later. She spends a lot of time rubbing the tip and getting precum on her fingers, so when we return to kissing and cuddling a few minutes later, I grab some precum and put it on her lips. She licks/bites her lip and smiles at me.
Yeah, I got this.

Passionately kisses her and then stops. Patience + sexual tension.

Gets her to take her shoes off and leads her into the bedroom. Compliance.

"Stop the escalation for 10-15 minutes while we cuddle and let her work through the emotionally wall herself in silence." Patience! If I make out with a girl for a long time trying to get her, I usually just kind of give up. Instead, he makes a pause and just knows that it's coming.

Then of course persistence.

Usually, for myself, the biggest hurdles are patience and persistence.