Some thoughts about freedom...
The more I live that new lifestyle and observe the reactions of people around me, the more I realized how much they want to change me. It's strange, I'm in a very, very liberal environment, yet, that I don't take root and settle for ONE girl, establishing myself in a closed relationship, seem to disturb people around.
Now I see my freedom as something similar to women control over access to sex: it something that you need to protect otherwise, other people will try to take it from you.
- For a woman, in mean avoiding rapes and aggressions.
- For a men, it mean resisting the propaganda, the moral pressure and the shame based attack aimed at making you fit in with your "expected gender role". (which is more or so a mental prison throw at you by the society)
I wasn't expecting that. It's quite disturbing to find myself taking proactive measure to protect my freedom (mostly by being discreet and avoid the biggest chunk of the pressure).
In this article https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-d ... ion-part-2 , Joseph talk about how women have more power when it come with sexual troubles in the workplace. I think it's a good example of an environment where your freedom (being a man who seduce many women and settle for none) is threatened and you shall proceed with caution. I guess it's the equivalent of a dark alley in a dodgy neighbourhood for a woman in high heel and sexy dress : potentially dangerous for her control over access to sex (i.e.: getting raped).
The sad thing is that in both case (our freedom and women control over access to sex), it should be a given, it should belong to the person and not be threatened by anyone.
But still, we have a society who want to control the freedom of men in order to control the resources of men, their workforce. After all, what is freedom? In my opinion, it's one"s choice to commit his time and energy to a group or not. When we hear about gender role… it's not really about the woman. The woman and the family are just the mean used by a society to secure the man's resources.
I think it's that the real motivation behind the attempt to shame a guy in changing his lifestyle and settle, take root and commit. People intuitively know that without a woman and a family, the guy don't really need to stick around and is free to leave whenever he wants (and chances are high that he may want to leave when the sh… hit the fan, when he's needed the most). That connect directly to the need of the people (need of security, need of certainty). The cognitive dissonance and the "word from free slave" explanation usually used doesn't fit really well: There's already so many differences in the lifestyle of various people, most of them flew totally uncared for… then why the matrimonial status would be suddenly so overwhelmingly important? More than the chosen job of a man… more than where he choose to live… it doesn't make sense. But the need to secure the guy's resources, that could be intuitively felt by every members of a community, that could explain why they try so hard to make the guys conform.
People don't care about the need of any (hypothetic) specific woman that may eventually end up in troubles alone with a child. There's plenty of woman like that around now. If people would really care about them, they would act to help them out. They don't. So I think that it is only the excuse. The reality seem to be that it's securing the guy's resources that matter for them.
In older time, they didn't want us to say "Thanks for all the fish" and leave when a barbarian horde was closing in to burn the city… they wanted us to stick around and fight. But who's more limey to stick around? The free guy with no strings attached or the husband with a wife, 5 children and an extended family? But even if both made their own life choices, when the barbarian horde get lose to the city, the husband STILL want the guy with no string attached to stick around and help out in the fight. And that explain very well the pressure on men to take root and settle down.
Nowadays, things have change, but not that much… and a man's resources are still something valuable for a society, even in peace time.
So take great care of your freedom my friends: they are many people out there who have a real and genuine interest in taking it away from you.
A final note:
I take the example of rape instead of slut shaming, because:
1- Slut shaming is about stoping a woman from "cockblocking" society's plan to secure men's resources.
2- Slut shaming is about stoping a woman from "cockblocking" other women plan's to secure a man's resources for them (the slut devaluating through "easy sex" the value they have to offer themselves through access to sex)
… and also… slut shaming is about sexual freedom, but freedom is not really something a woman have in the first place. Whatever the law say, women aren't as free as men; they remain their own jailor. They just care way too much about their social circle (how they manage their reputation and their social status is a proof enough) to be really free. As a man, we are ready to walk away of our social circles. It probably happen a couple of time in the life of every man. For women, when it happen, it's, in my experience, always a very tragic and traumatic event… never willfully desired. When they are truly free, they run to get ride of it and build a new social circle. So for a women, freedom is not really a resources used to fulfill their needs (it could be in some case, there's always exceptions of course and that's totally great). So I compared a resources owned by women (access to sex) with a resource owned by men (freedom). In both case a resources used to fulfill one's needs.
The more I live that new lifestyle and observe the reactions of people around me, the more I realized how much they want to change me. It's strange, I'm in a very, very liberal environment, yet, that I don't take root and settle for ONE girl, establishing myself in a closed relationship, seem to disturb people around.
Now I see my freedom as something similar to women control over access to sex: it something that you need to protect otherwise, other people will try to take it from you.
- For a woman, in mean avoiding rapes and aggressions.
- For a men, it mean resisting the propaganda, the moral pressure and the shame based attack aimed at making you fit in with your "expected gender role". (which is more or so a mental prison throw at you by the society)
I wasn't expecting that. It's quite disturbing to find myself taking proactive measure to protect my freedom (mostly by being discreet and avoid the biggest chunk of the pressure).
In this article https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-d ... ion-part-2 , Joseph talk about how women have more power when it come with sexual troubles in the workplace. I think it's a good example of an environment where your freedom (being a man who seduce many women and settle for none) is threatened and you shall proceed with caution. I guess it's the equivalent of a dark alley in a dodgy neighbourhood for a woman in high heel and sexy dress : potentially dangerous for her control over access to sex (i.e.: getting raped).
The sad thing is that in both case (our freedom and women control over access to sex), it should be a given, it should belong to the person and not be threatened by anyone.
But still, we have a society who want to control the freedom of men in order to control the resources of men, their workforce. After all, what is freedom? In my opinion, it's one"s choice to commit his time and energy to a group or not. When we hear about gender role… it's not really about the woman. The woman and the family are just the mean used by a society to secure the man's resources.
I think it's that the real motivation behind the attempt to shame a guy in changing his lifestyle and settle, take root and commit. People intuitively know that without a woman and a family, the guy don't really need to stick around and is free to leave whenever he wants (and chances are high that he may want to leave when the sh… hit the fan, when he's needed the most). That connect directly to the need of the people (need of security, need of certainty). The cognitive dissonance and the "word from free slave" explanation usually used doesn't fit really well: There's already so many differences in the lifestyle of various people, most of them flew totally uncared for… then why the matrimonial status would be suddenly so overwhelmingly important? More than the chosen job of a man… more than where he choose to live… it doesn't make sense. But the need to secure the guy's resources, that could be intuitively felt by every members of a community, that could explain why they try so hard to make the guys conform.
People don't care about the need of any (hypothetic) specific woman that may eventually end up in troubles alone with a child. There's plenty of woman like that around now. If people would really care about them, they would act to help them out. They don't. So I think that it is only the excuse. The reality seem to be that it's securing the guy's resources that matter for them.
In older time, they didn't want us to say "Thanks for all the fish" and leave when a barbarian horde was closing in to burn the city… they wanted us to stick around and fight. But who's more limey to stick around? The free guy with no strings attached or the husband with a wife, 5 children and an extended family? But even if both made their own life choices, when the barbarian horde get lose to the city, the husband STILL want the guy with no string attached to stick around and help out in the fight. And that explain very well the pressure on men to take root and settle down.
Nowadays, things have change, but not that much… and a man's resources are still something valuable for a society, even in peace time.
So take great care of your freedom my friends: they are many people out there who have a real and genuine interest in taking it away from you.
A final note:
I take the example of rape instead of slut shaming, because:
1- Slut shaming is about stoping a woman from "cockblocking" society's plan to secure men's resources.
2- Slut shaming is about stoping a woman from "cockblocking" other women plan's to secure a man's resources for them (the slut devaluating through "easy sex" the value they have to offer themselves through access to sex)
… and also… slut shaming is about sexual freedom, but freedom is not really something a woman have in the first place. Whatever the law say, women aren't as free as men; they remain their own jailor. They just care way too much about their social circle (how they manage their reputation and their social status is a proof enough) to be really free. As a man, we are ready to walk away of our social circles. It probably happen a couple of time in the life of every man. For women, when it happen, it's, in my experience, always a very tragic and traumatic event… never willfully desired. When they are truly free, they run to get ride of it and build a new social circle. So for a women, freedom is not really a resources used to fulfill their needs (it could be in some case, there's always exceptions of course and that's totally great). So I compared a resources owned by women (access to sex) with a resource owned by men (freedom). In both case a resources used to fulfill one's needs.
